2EncourageFreedom&Forgiveness

Is life blurry?

2011-07-15T18:58:00.000-07:00

Our church had a teaching on fasting last weekend. We were challenged to do a 3 day fast, however we felt God leading. The teaching was that physical hunger leads to spiritual hunger. When we fast we deny ourselves something and use that time of denial to focus on God.
God gave me a physical example of focus a few weeks ago. I was told of a waterfall in one of the parks in our area. So one day, I set out to find it. My trek did not end unrewarded. In the midst of a man -made park with lake and a couple wooden bridges, there it was. Now this is no Niagara Falls, just a miniature rush of water, but the sound of moving, living water always calms my soul. As I stood behind the waterfall, looking at the lake and trees, my view was distorted. One step to the right and it all became clear again.
I sensed God trying to say to me that sometimes my life is blurry because I have let sin, or busyness or trying to accomplish things in my own strength take my focus away from Him.
Once I lose my focus, I lose my strength and energy, I lose my joy and peace and eventually the desire to fight the good fight required in this life gets dimmer.
My step to the right to sharpen my view was the challenge of the spiritual discipline of fasting. I felt led to do breakfast the first day, breakfast and lunch, the second day and all day on the third. I spent more time than usual in prayer and God was so faithful in giving me strength and focus in the face of temptation.
I will not share all the details just some insight He gave me. I will say that I felt so refreshed and energized and a new hunger for God. My soul and my body felt cleansed. My only prayer besides strength was to know Him more and He was faithful in showing me.
My clarity came in the middle of my time through a little bird. I was out for an early morning walk and as I reached some water, I noticed a tiny bird fluttering overhead. This bird was flapping like crazy and then a gentle breeze would come and lift its wings, letting the bird float gracefully through the air. This pattern repeated over again but it just seemed more peaceful with the wind under its wings.
As I witnessed God's creature, the word complacency came to me again. Complacency actually means according to Webster's, ' a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of unpleasant possibilities.'
I felt this bird was a picture of when I am complacent in my walk with God, I place my security in myself and flap my wings like crazy trying to figure things out myself. I need a little resistance or action in my circumstances to create the breeze for me to glide on. This turns my focus off of me and back onto God.
I have witnessed as Christians that we are deceived in our complacency. We may feel that quiet pleasure or security and then easily forget the unpleasant possibilities of the devil lurking and prowling waiting for an opportunity to kill, steal and destroy.
We need to be diligent to know God and keep our focus on Him. I encourage you if life has become blurry, to take whatever step to the right you need to bring clarity to your circumstances. I am praying for His revelation in your lives!

Matthew 7:33,34, 'But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.'

Jeremiah 33:3 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'

Day 31- The Fasting Tongue

2011-07-09T10:47:00.000-07:00

James 3:6-10 ' The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers this should not be.'
(Side note in case you have not come to this realization yet, no man can tame the tongue alone, but with God's help we can!)

This day of the tongue is my own addendum to Deborah Pegues book. Praise God He helped me to persevere and finish this blog series. In the past finishing well has not been my strong point.
I will not share the authors' appendices but instead encourage you to purchase this powerful little book. You will then have on hand the tools of the daily tongue evaluation checklist, alternative uses of the tongue and an arsenal of tongue scriptures.
I will share a poem she included, by and unknown author called, 'The Power of Words'
A careless word may kindle strife;
A cruel word may wreck a life.
A bitter word may hate instill;
A brutal word may smite and kill.
A gracious word may smooth the way;
A joyous word may light the day.
A timely word may lessen stress;
A loving word may heal and bless.

It is easy to read the words I have written and say Oh yes, I need to change that or think, that is where I need God to work. My friend gave me an interesting statistic the other day. We only retain 10-20% of what we hear, but we retain about 80% of something we discover. My husband also added we retain 80% of something we hear if its repeated 7 or more times.
Remember when I said we believe more of what we say to ourselves than anyone else? So I encourage you to go on a journey of discovery for the areas where you need a tongue fast.
If none of these areas seem to be an issue for you, pray and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal your truth. Find a strategy that works best for you to deal with these areas.
I am going to start in the areas that jumped out to me most. I will practice meditating on God's word about the issue.
Although it is good and sometimes necessary to pay attention to the things we do wrong. We would be farther ahead if we practice doing the right uses of our tongue in order to leave no room for the negative ones.
God 'just happened' to show me a Joyce Meyer teaching today that was entitled. '6 Things to Say on Purpose'. She also reminded me if it comes out of your mouth, it was in your heart. So I truly want what I say to be pleasing. Joyce's 6 things to say to ourselves are:
1. Stay busy blessing everything - start your day, my day is blessed in Jesus's name & proceed to speak that over your family and friends.
2. Be thankful and say so - as she said, you may have a thankful heart but open your mouth and speak it.
3. I was made to encourage.
4. I'm telling the truth - no matter what
5. God's word is in my vocabulary
6. I'm going to say just enough - As Deborah Pegues would say do not give in to loquaciousness. Be quiet enough to hear the Spirit's directions for your words to speak.

I think you have heard my heart if you've been following along. There were areas that spoke to me more than others. In all fairness and to encourage you to keep on this journey with me, these are the ones I'm starting on; the hasty tongue, the judgmental tongue, the doubting tongue.
I know there will be so much freedom if I learn to walk in doing the opposite of these tongue uses alone. Especially if I line up with God's word and trust Him for my outcomes, to not doubt how big & mighty He is and that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Press on my friends in fasting this wild creature in our mouths. The more we starve out the evil by speaking life with it, the more joy, life and victory we will experience.
Thank you for joining me on this journey. Thank you for Deborah Smith Pegues God inspired teaching and permission to share some of it. Bless you all as God leads!!

Speaking the Truth
Colossians 3:12-17 ' Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitiude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.'

Psalm 71:8 'My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 30 - The Silent Tongue

2011-07-07T19:20:00.000-07:00

Silent - making no sound, refraining from speech, speechless, mute, unspoken - understood, implied

Apparently the saying Silence is golden is only a part of the proverb. It is actually Speech is silver, silence is golden. The author shares a story in which silence is not golden.
'I heard a story about a husband and a wife who were feuding and giving each other the silent treatment. One night he realized he needed her to wake him up at an early hour to catch a flight. Not wanting to humble himself and be the first to break the silence, he left her a note to wake him at 5 am. The next morning he awakened to find out that he had overslept by a couple hours and had missed his flight. As he leaped out of bed to go and angrily confront her, he noticed a piece of paper on his nightstand. The note read, "It is 5 am. Wake up!"
Deborah Pegues showed us 29 days of negative ways we use our tongue. She has dedicated the last chapter to ways in which silence is not necessarily the best way to use (or not use) our tongues. She reminds us that talking is essential to maintain good relationships. These are the instances the author shares when silence is not golden.
1. When someone uses it as a passive, retaliatory means of expressing anger or displeasure.
2. When we refuse to defend someone against unwarranted criticism or vicious rumors.
3. When our silence results in us making an undesireable decision by default. Silence can indicate consent.

#1 The Silent Treatment as its lovingly referred to. Unfortunately I can recall too many instances as a parent or in my first marriage when I used this as a means of manipulation to get my own way. Thankfully God speaks to me very quickly if I try to use this form of the tongue now.
#2 Silent in the face of Injustice. Don't we all need someone who will defend us and our character. I hope I can stand for things that are right, or not right. If someone comes against my character, I pray that God will defend me through another. What about those who have no voice at all like the abused, abandoned, orphaned, widows. Are we making a stand with our words and actions for them?
#3 Mob mentality. Are we willing to stand up and face persecution or risk not being liked or understood in order to not silently agree with decisions being made. Prayer has been taken out of public schools because the majority of people did not protest. How many things have we silently agreed to? How many things could be changed by one brave voice? How many lives could be saved?
I love the story of Esther. I encourage you to take time to read this amazing book in the bible. In a short synopsis, Esther, a young Jewish woman, found favour with King Xerxes when he banished his wife who disobeyed him. He made Esther his queen. Through a series of events in which Esther spoke up, risking her life more than once, a whole nation was saved.
Her uncle spoke these words to encourage her to intercede for their people. 4:14 'For if you remain silent at this time relief and deliverance for the jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to a royal position for such a time as this.'
So although we are not likely in a royal position, be aware of any opportunity when God may be calling you to speak up, for such a time as this!
Speaking the Truth
1Peter 2:15 'For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.'

Excerpted from: 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy available from: www.confrontingissues.com

Day 29 The Indiscreet Tongue

2011-07-04T23:36:00.001-07:00

Indiscreet - lacking prudence, good judgment or circumspection, careless, foolish, hasty, inconsiderate, unthinking.

Proverbs 2:11 'Discretion will protect you and understanding will guard you.'

I like the example from the story of Noah that Deborah Pegues begins this chapter with. 'After the great flood that destroyed most of the earth, Noah planted a vineyard. One day he got carried away and drank too much wine. His son Ham discovered him in his tent - drunk and naked. Scripture tells us that Ham "saw his father's nakedness and told his two brothers outside" (Genesis 9:22) Exercising more discretion than Ham, his brothers would not even look on their father, but backed into the tent and covered him with a garment. Their discretion was a sign of their maturity. One who is discreet shows prudence and wise self-restraint in speech and behavior - and always reaps a positive consequence.'
'Have you ever found out something about a leader or other prominent person and could not refrain from telling someone? If God has trusted you enough to reveal someone's nakedness or sin, have you ever considered that you were not to "see" and "tell" but rather to cover that nakedness with discretion and intercession? A leader's punishment is God's business.'
I had a live example last night of an indiscreet tongue. we bought season tickets to our CFL team when we moved to Regina. Sunday night was their first regular season game that Wade, Owen and I attended together.
The row we have, we are surrounded by seemingly good people. A grandma and her grandson who is about Owen's age. A dad and what looks like his 3 daughters, below us an older gentleman and a man I assumed to be his son. Above us was another story. A young man so admittingly drunk that he could not see straight, his friend and another father son duo. All of these 'men' seemed to favour swearing over the rest of the English language and a particular 'f' word especially. They had a total disregard for the family setting. There was no discretion used in front of these 10 year old boys, a total lack of good judgment. It makes me sad when I have to debrief my son after inappropriate things happen that are unneccessary really. We are praying God intervenes into this new sphere of influence that He has blessed us with.
Be discreet now, you never know when God will show someone your nakedness. Hope that wisdom is all over your experience and you are covered.
Speaking the Truth
Proverbs 8:12 I, wisdom, dwell together with prudence; I possess knowledge and discretion.'

Haggai 1:5 ' Now this is what the Lord Almighty says "Give careful thoughts to your ways."'

Ephesians 5:15-17 ' Be very careful then, how you live, not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil, therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.'

Excerpted from: 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy available from: www.confrontingissues.com

Day 28 - The Loquacious Tongue

2011-06-30T16:40:00.000-07:00

Loquacious - exceedingly talkative

1 Thessalonians 4:11,12 'Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.'

We used to call this form of using the tongue, verbal diarrhea or someone who is long-winded or a motor mouth. Have you ever met someone that can make a 5 minute story into a half an hour saga?
I have a hard time with small talk and so when someone carries on about surface things, I find it difficult to listen well. It is especially frustrating if the conversation is negative or full of gossip.
Deborah Pegues comments, ' When I am in the presence of an incessant talker, I often wonder if that person is lonely, has few opportunities to talk to others, or just plain loves the sound of her voice. Whatever the motivation excessive talking tends not to glorify God. I heard someone say that any conversation that lasts more than ten minutes will usually end up on the wrong path.'
She also suggested a couple of ways to veer away from our own loquaciousness. Ask the person you are talking with an open-ended question, one that requires more than a yes or no response. Also make your talking count. Tell a story of God's grace or mercy, share an interesting fact or story you've read.
Whatever you say, be careful to think first and determine whether or not it will be pleasing to God.
I could go on and on about loquaciousness ;) or I will just let God's Word instruct us to do the opposite things like being silent, quiet or subdued.
Speaking the Truth
Ecclesiastes 3:1,7 'There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak.'

Proverbs 17:28 'Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent and discerning if he holds his tongue.'

Ecclesiastes 9:17 ' The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools.'

1 Peter 3:3,4 'Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.'

Excerpted from: 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy available from: www.confrontingissues.com

Day 27 - The Doubting Tongue

2011-06-29T06:20:00.000-07:00

Doubt - to be uncertain and undecided about, to distrust, a feeling of uncertainty and indecision, not believing, lack of faith; conviction

James 1:5-7 'If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him. But when he asks he must not doubt because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man unstable in all he does.'

These verses paint a strong picture for me as to how God sees us when we doubt. I was reminded of the time when Wade and I were on our honeymoon. We were on a cruise ship and we were sitting on the deck watching the ocean. Wade went to get us some drinks and while he was gone I spotted a dolphin amidst the waves. It was an amazing sight when all we could see was water. I will never forget how the rolling waves were somewhat disconcerting for me. The ocean is amazing and very powerful and I thought the only thing seperating us from it was the ship. We were a tiny dot in the vastness of God's creation. We were at His mercy. Our doubting needs His mercy. This picture of the rolling waves I saw were reminiscient of my heart when I live in unbelief and doubt of God's promises.
God takes our doubt very seriously as it is a sign of our unbelief. I know if I am not believing I feel like someone bobbing in the waves with no clear direction. I float along and get swept away into anything life brings. I need to be deliberate about where my focus is.
God includes the unbelieving in the list of those who will be separated from Him. Revelation 21:6-8 'He said to me,"It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars- their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulpher. This is the second death."'
Deborah Pegues says we must become proficient at knowing and declaring the promises of God.'What are some things you find yourself speaking about in a doubtful way? Is it the fear of pursuing a career or tasks for which you feel inadequate? The hopelessness of forging an amicable relationship with a difficult person? That seemingly impossible task of getting into shape? Perhaps you have resorted to being a doubting Thomas who would only believe what he could touch?'
I liked what Joyce Meyer said, " We don't see a book of Thomas in the Bible!"
I had a revelation tonight that even silently agreeing with the lies that something is too hard or it won't change fuels our unbelief in not being able to trust God.
How do others around you influence your beliefs? Limit your time with those who speak negatively or create doubt into your goals or desires. Do the opposite and be confident of who God is and what He can do.
I cry out to God as the man in Mark 9 does as he prays for a miracle for his son to be delivered, 'I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!'
Speaking the Truth
Philippians 1:6 'Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Psalm 27:13,14 'I am still confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 26 - The Discouraging Tongue

2011-06-27T15:28:00.000-07:00

Discourage - to deprive of courage or confidence, dishearten, dissuade

Do you feel it is a gift when someone can see past the surface of something and find its potential?
When we were searching for a house, I was too overwhelmed by the move to want to purchase a fixer-upper. I became blind to the possibilities because of the way I was feeling and never looked past that.
I envy the gift some people have to see the beautiful potential of a home that needs a little tlc.
I sometimes longed for that gift to see beautiful things in people that weren't evident. The more I get to know God and who I am because of Him and in Him, the more He is opening my eyes to the potential in others.
God knows the potential in us, he created it. He knows the beauty underneath all of our stuff and walls and sin. He takes great delight in unearthing it and creating something beautiful. He is the potter and we are the clay.
The more I trust Him, the more I see the beauty in others and I can use my tongue to encourage which means to inspire courage and confidence.
My lack of confidence sometimes only allowed me to be selfish and not believe in others. It is hard to believe in others, if you do not believe in yourself. Discouraging words kill potential.
As Deborah Pegues asks, 'What about you? When you see others faced with negative circumstances, do you lose hope in their ability to succeed? Further, can you listen to someone's dreams and plans without making disheartening remarks? ...Even if you cannot envision the dreams of another, at least agree to stand in faith with him for God's perfect will to be done regarding the proposed endeavor... If perchance, you are confronted by a discourager, do not let him derail your destiny. Very graciously let him know your eyes are fixed on God, who specializes in doing the impossible.'
I agree with the author in that there is enough negativity in the world, we do not have to add to it by depriving courage to someone with our discouraging words. My heart is to speak life with my tongue, to build others up and encourage them. This was one of the reasons I developed my blog name and space. 2EncourageFFIC. To encourage freedom & forgiveness in Christ. This is the potential of hope.
Seek to affirm and inspire those around you. The beauty of being encouraging is that is blesses and builds you in the process as well as speak life into someone else.
Speaking the Truth
Romans 12:6-8 'We have different gifts according to the grace given us: If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.'
Hebrews 3:12,13, 'See to it brothers, that noe of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 25 - The Accusing Tongue

2011-06-24T21:22:00.001-07:00

Accuse - to charge with a fault, offense or crime, to blame

Revelation 12:10b 'For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night has been hurled down.'
This is satan who is known as the accuser of the brethren but what I didn't understand until recently was that he uses us to do this dirty work often.
As I looked up accuse, the definition - to blame, put a whole new spin of this use of the tongue. One of the meanings of blame is to place the responsibility on. I have seen countless times that accusation or blaming is used when someone does not take ownership of an issue.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when leadership gets blamed when someone's needs are not being fulfilled.
Unfortunately a prime example of this is in the church. It is sad how many Christians are doing religion and not relationship with God. Because of all these 'rules', they have unrealistic expectations of the leaders to be responsible for their spiritual well-being.
All of us have a responsibility and a calling to have relationship with God. No amount of accusation or blame will change this fact. We all have the ability and the way through Jesus Christ.
When we are emotionally immature we may become adept at shifting responsibility through blame or accusation. I know from personal experience this is just a temporary solution. God wants us to become more like Him and He loves us too much to leave us this way. He is faithful to place His finger all over that behavior in us until we learn our lesson and take responsibility for our own actions.
Deborah Pegues gives solutions to overcome this use of our tongue, ' Emotional and spiritual maturity dictate that you must seek first to understand rather than making an accusation. Asking a clarifying question and listening to the response are key steps in overcoming an accusing tongue. I repeat, ask and listen.'
So instead of trying to do God's job, let's exonerate others before bringing accusation, let them off the hook, release them from our blame. In this we too shall be free.
Speaking the Truth
Proverbs 11:12 'A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor but a man of understanding holds his tongue.'
Proverbs 17:27 'A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 24 - The Retaliating Tongue

2011-06-22T21:35:00.000-07:00

Retaliate - return like for like esp. evil for evil, get even with someone.

1 Peter 3:9 nlt ' Don't repay evil for evil. Don't relatiate when people say unkind things about you. Instead pay them back with blessing. That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it.'

Well this verse from God's word is a great summation of how He sees retaliation. This is the instance where bite your tongue would be advice well taken.
When we experience hurt or a jab from someone it is often quick on our tongue to respond in kind. As a child of God, knowing He wants me to behave in this area, I am very grateful for His mercy.
I am not always quick to obey in this area and too often let my flesh take over. A couple weeks ago I was thankful to hear the Holy Spirit prompt me to 'bite my tongue' with a customer at work.
The words were in my mouth when I sensed God say in my spirit, Stop! you are at work, you don't know her story, just bless her.
I had to quickly reel in my first reaction and chose to obey. The reward was evident as I was able to bless the woman and she left thanking me, despite the fact her issue was not resolved. Only God can do things like that!
Deborah Pegues reflects on choosing to be obedient by saying, ' In recalling these times when I have been victorious, I realize that my responses required humility, a desire to understand the other person's behavior and a commitment to obey and glorify God.'
I believe we can conquer this temptation by being quick to forgive others. If we REALLY get who God is and how much He has REALLY forgiven us ALL the time, who are we to try and hold things against another?
Speaking the Truth
Colossians 3:12,13 ; Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you!'

Excerpted from: 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy available from: www.confrontingissues.com

Day 23 - The Complaining Tongue

2011-06-21T16:32:00.000-07:00

Complain - to express dissatisfaction, pain etc. grumble about, to make a formal accusation.

I believe complaining has become an 'acceptable' sin. One that is accepted by man but displeasing to God, but we do it anyway. It is so commonplace in all circles that we have trouble discerning complaining from ordinary conversation. None of us are exempt from this kind of temptation. It is almost odd when someone does not complain. God wants us to behave differently though.
Philippians 4:14,15 'Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.'
Deborah Pegues writes ,' Someone once said,"To swear is wicked because it is taking God's name in vain. To murmur is like-wise wicked for it takes God's promises in vain." During your tongue fast, become aware of how often you complain about nonessential matters such as a rainy day, traffic jams, boring television programs, lazy coworkers and so on. Because complaining is contagious, this is a hard mouth malady to cure.'
Look at some of the words used to describe complaining; bellyaching, bemoaning, snivelling, whimpering, whining, yammering. Even these words seem unappealing and annoying. How much are we really trusting God when we talk like this?
There may be legitimate complaints but these can only be resolved if they are directed to the one who can change your situation. Instead of getting all those around you to join in the complaining party, use your energy and time to try and improve things. Praise or approve of something, or take part in the resolution of the issue.
If there is something only God can change, take it up with Him, He can handle it.
Psalm 142:1,2 'I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before Him, before him I tell my trouble.'
The author encourages us whenever we feel a complaint coming on, replace it with a statement of gratitude or a declaration of a Scripture you have personalized. Try this.
Speaking the Truth
Philippians 4:12,13 ' I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him (Christ) who strengthens me.'
John 14:1 'Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 22 - The Cursing Tongue

2011-06-20T18:28:00.000-07:00

Curse - the expression of a wish that misfortune, evil etc befall someone, a profane or obscene word, hateful, swearing remark.

James 3:10 'Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.'

I used to have what some people would refer to as a trucker mouth. Although I did have some discretion as to my audience, four letter words were a normal part of my vocabulary.
Before I chose Jesus as my Savior, His name was just another swear word for me. 9 Years ago when I became a Christian, I believe that God cleansed and delivered me from using my words this way.
I confessed taking His name in vain and it no longer felt right to swear or speak in a vulgar manner. I think, some people, as I did, never knew any different and grew up hearing curse words as a 'normal' part of vocabulary. For some it was a bad habitual release of their frustrations.
I admit in the last year or so under stressful or overwhelming situatuons I have thought some of these words. I need to as God as Deborah Pegues did to purge her from profanity and replace them with His expressions.
I love the way she ended this chapter. 'Understanding that profanity resides in the heart helps us to reject the idea that a curse "slipped" out of our mouth. The reality is that it slipped out of the heart. Only God can cleanse a person's heart. If you are challenged with profanity, ask God to purify your heart and your mind. Remember that words are verbal thoughts. We must practice the mental discipline of casting down profane thoughts and using words that bring life to our innermost being and to others.'
Speaking the Truth
Psalm 71:8 'My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long.'
Psalm 139:14 ' I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 21 - The Self-Absorbed Tongue

2011-06-18T14:23:00.000-07:00

Self-absorbed - preoccupied with one's own thoughts or interests.
Absorbed - occupy complete attention, consume

I couldn't stop thinking about myself long enough to get this written! ha Seriously though, I have been guilty of this over the years. I had to find the balance when I was a people pleaser for so many years. God had to heal in me the emptiness from my own unworthiness, to be full an overflowing with love to others. This healing went from only being concerned for myself (or others for selfish reasons, to look good etc) to genuinely being able to love and care about others because I know that God loves me. ( and it is not because of what I do or don't do! He just does)
The journey has been neither quick or easy but very worth it to know who I am and to be free to love others.
I find it interesting that absorb can also mean to take in without echo, recoil or reflection. This is a very fitting description about one who is self-absorbed. There is nothing echoed or reflected back to the person trying to have a conversation with them. They are consumed by their own thoughts and are not even listening well because they are planning their next story off of what they are hearing.
Have you experienced someone like this? Have you been that someone? I have also known a few people who can take ANY little tidbit of information I give and turn it into a memory or story about themself.
Although I give them credit for their amazing memory or gift of storytelling, this can become frustrating if it is a common occurence.
Proverbs 18:13 ' He who answers before listening - that is his folly and his shame.'
Deborah Pegues suggest we become others-absorbed instead of self. Distract yourself with a challenge to go a whole day without making issues about you. Give everyone you converse with your full attention and watch your relationships deepen.
Speaking the Truth
Romans 12:9-11 'Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com

Day 20 - The Judgmental Tongue

2011-06-16T05:46:00.000-07:00

Judgmental - tending to make moral judgments (an opinion formed)

Matthew 7:1,2 'Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.'

These couple of verses are what God has used most to bring conviction to my judgmental attitude. I confess I have had much trouble with this use of my tongue and know this is a place of weakness I need to confess to God. In the past a lot of this came out of my own insecurity. When God started dealing with this in me, it was hard for me to see the line between discerning something and judging it.
I remember reading in a book by James Richards that you can make observations but as soon as you determine you know someone's motive behind the action, it is judgment.
I like how Deborah Pegues described the choice we make to judge. 'Judgmental people engage in a critical, fault-finding assessment of another person's behavior. What is amazing is that they judge others by their actions but judge themselves by their intentions. Of course, most of us tend to judge others from an autobiographical viewpoint. If someone's behavior does not reflect a choice or decision we would have made, we judge it as wrong. Jesus based His judgment of people's behavior on nothing other than God's standard. This is the only basis from which we can righteously judge. '
We can pray for those walking contrary to God's Word. Be careful if you observe this happening that you turn and pray for them and don't cross the line into deciding why they are doing what they do. Ask God to reveal to you areas that you may have passed judgment and turn away from it.
'Lord, please help us to be secure in You. Help us to not judge and be quick to confess or repent of any judgments we make or have made. You are the final word, not us!'
Speaking the Truth
Matthew 7:3-5 'Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother,'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in you own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 19 - The Rude Tongue

2011-06-15T07:50:00.001-07:00

Rude - discourteous, impolite, lacking culture or refinement, crude in behavior, uncouth, ungentle or harsh.

I think we would all agree that this is one of the most recognizable wrong uses of our tongue. We have all experienced the rude driver, impolite store clerk, harsh customer, inconsiderate family member. Let us not forget those cell phones and how inconsiderate they seem to make people.
Do we see these traits so easily in others because we know how quickly we can resort to this if we are out of sorts?
I learned the H.A.L.T. acronym as I was changing my lifestyle to eat better. I was reminded to check if I was starting to make bad choices, am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired? Sometimes it might bode us well to ask these questions when our attitude turns sour.
Deborah Pegues reminds us in this chapter about the Golden Rule which is in God's Word.
Luke 6:31 ' Do to others as you would have them do to you.'
Seems simple doesn't it, we all know how we would like to be treated. As our world becomes busier and everything is quick and instant, we are starting to expect that everywhere and the temptation to be rude and impatient grows. We need to guard our hearts and put boundaries around our time so we are better equipped to stand against our selfishness that creates rudeness.
I remembered a story this morning I once heard about a man who got on a crowded bus with his three children. He sat down and his kids were running wild up and down the aisle. He seemed oblivious to their actions and the people grumbling. Finally one lady had had enough and she tried to get his attention. 'Sir, sir!'
He slowly turned to her as she berated him to get his children under control. ' I am so sorry, we just came from the hospital where their mom, my wife just died.'
A lot of times we make quick judgments before we know the story behind a behavior. You can bet those people on the bus had an instant attitude adjustment.
Instead of responding in kind to someone rude today, can we give out God's love. Smile, ask a question, have empathy.
If you have to literally bite your tongue from being rude to someone, it will pay off in the long run. Do the opposite and be kind. It is through our kindness that God can love people.
Speaking the Truth
Hosea 11:4 ' I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love, I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them.'
1 Corinthians 13:4,5 'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com

Day 18 - The Intimidating Tongue

2011-06-14T13:01:00.000-07:00

Intimidate - to make timid or fearful, to force into or deter from some action by inducing fear.

I remember Shannon Ethridge once saying, " You cannot require intimacy in relationship but you can inspire it."
When I think of intimidation, it is not an inspiring way to get someone on your side. I see this as a power trip or controlling and wonder what is out of control in that person's life that they see a need to intimidate others.
As Deborah Pegues comments," God has never meant for anyone to oppress or dominate another person. Note that in the Garden of Eden, He gave Adam and Eve dominion over the fish, fowl and animals - not over each other or people."
Genesis 1:28 'God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'
I have seen many displays of intimidation in my workplace, both with co-workers and customers. It is interesting how some people behave to try and get their way. I love when God deals with them right in front of my eyes as I pray for His wisdom to calm them down. I have watched their attitude back down when I speak in an even tone with empathy and eye contact. Often people just want to be heard. I encourage you to stand up and don't allow the bully to push you around. More often than not they will back down when they know you are not having any of what they are dishing out. I think it surprises them sometimes that someone stands up to them and they are relieved in a sense of repeating the same behaviors.
I am not encouraging you to step into the middle of an abusive situation to try and calm them, just generally we can be confident that God is the only one we fear.
1 John 3:21 'Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God.'
I was reminded of a story as I witnessed some baby ducks this morning. One day in Saskatoon while driving on a busy freeway, a family of geese were waddling across the road. Seemingly oblivious to the dangers, I watched as each lane of traffic slowed to allow these geese some leeway. I was in the lane closest to the family and as I started to inch ahead, papa goose came charging and hissing at my car. I know from this example that intimidation can come from a protective stance.
Next time you are intimidated or are being intimidating, step back, question your own or other's motives. Do the opposite of being intimidating which is to encourage. Perhaps your kindness could be key to changing a heart.
Speaking the Truth
Hebrews 3:13 'But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 17 - The Tactless Tongue

2011-06-13T21:04:00.001-07:00

Tactless - lack of skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations
Synonym- unthinking, careless, insensitive
Antonym-careful, discreet, thoughtful

I am sure we have all witnessed someone speaking insensitive comments at inopportune times. The doctor with no bedside manner delivering a diagnosis, the coach deflating a spirit with careless words, a talent show judge taking too much liberty with their opinions.
I grew up in a family that didn't communicate well through issues, things were skirted around rather than dealt with. I didn't want to do that with my children. I went to the extreme end of the spectrum though trying to find my balance. So my honest, direct communication style wasn't always full of tact.
My oldest daughter has said to her sister, 'Are you sure you want to ask Mom that because you know you'll get the truth!'
Thankfully God is softening me to deliver the truth with love. It has been a real process to find the balance.
Ephesians 5:15 'Be very careful then, how you live, not as unwise but as wise.'niv
As Deborah Pegue says, 'Must pain always accompany truth? The extent to which a person experiences paun from being told the truth depends on numerous variables, including his degree of emotional security, his perceived worth or his desire to grow. We must understand that extending grace and telling the truth are not mutually exclusive concepts...Jesus never allowed His graciousness to prevent Him from imparting the truth.'
Proverbs 2:11 ' Discretion will protect you and understanding will guard you.' niv
Learning the truth of Christ's love for you can help you extend that love to others by speaking love with tact.
Speaking the Truth
Ephesians 4:15 'Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.' niv

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 16 - The Harsh Tongue

2011-06-11T16:13:00.000-07:00

Harsh- ungentle in action or effect, grim; cruel, unpleasant to the senses.

Proverbs 15:1 'A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.'

I was reminded of a story I once heard as I read through this chapter. I think it is very appropriate for this topic. It was written anonymously.

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”
The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said “I hope you can forgive me father for the holes I put in you.”
“Of course I can,” said the father.

As I reread through this story from the perspective of the proverb above, I wonder if the little boy's anger was stirred up by someone's harsh words. I understand some personalities are more prone to anger, although we do have control over our thoughts and actions, some people do not learn the skills needed to redirect their anger. As I look back on my parenting there were many instances that I know my children's anger was likely brought on my quick tongue that spoke harshly. Stop, think and pray were needed in those times. Forgive me Lord.

Speaking the Truth
Proverbs 14:21 ' He who despises his neighbor sins, but blessed is he who is kind to the needy.'
Ephesians 4:32 ' Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.'

Day 15 - The Know-It-All Tongue

2011-06-09T16:51:00.000-07:00

I know, you who use their tongue this way, know what I am gonna say about it! Seriously though, this tongue description is pretty self-explanatory.
I remember Joyce Meyer saying, "Being right is highly overrated!"
Practicing humility stops you from giving into the temptation of proving yourself right. My girlfriend and I used to remind each other of the motto, myob, or mind your own business. If we found ourselves giving unsolicited advice to others, especially our grown children, we would gently say myob!
You could use the phrase 'you should' as a trigger to recognize imposing your opinion on someone. Whenever you hear yourself saying those words, check your motives behind them.
Proverbs 12:23 ' A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly.'
This is another instance where the saying God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen well to others, be slow to speak. Let them tell you something you already know. This will keep a handle on your pride. Why do you feel a need to know it all?
Deborah Pegues asks, "Is your need for display of knowledge a smoke screen for insecurity? Are you craving attention or appreciation because you are not getting it from the source you desire?"
Proverbs 21:23 'The proud and arrogant man - "Mocker" is his name; he behaves with overweening pride.'
Check your words, are you feeding your pride or submitting to humility by the things you are saying or stopping yourself from saying?
Speaking the Truth
Titus 3:1,2 'Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.'
1Peter5:5,6 'Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble" Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 14 - The Cynical Tongue

2011-06-09T14:25:00.000-07:00

Cynic - One who believes only selfishness motivates human actions
Synonyms - nonbelieving, doubtful, pessimistic, sarcastic, suspicious
Antonyms- believing, hopeful, optimistic, trusting

Thomas, another of Jesus' disciples, comes to mind when I think of being cynical. The following passage that take place after Jesus' death and resurrection, paints this picture.
John 20-24-29 'Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!"
But he said to them,"Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."
A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood amond them and said," Peace be with you!" Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."
Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"
Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
I am sure that we have all experienced being in the company of a cynical person. It is like a poison and these people are difficult to be around.
Deborah Pegues says, 'Find one cynical employee, parishioner or family member and pretty soon those with weaker minds are chiming in and perpetuating the negative conversation. It can wreak havoc on any relationship and in any environment.'
As I reflected on times of being cynical or being around those who are, it seems lack of faith is one reason we resort to cynicism. If we choose to trust God no matter what the extenuating circumstances look like, we would have no reason to be pessimistic or suspicious.
Unforgiveness and bitterness are the root of this behavior as well. If someone has been hurt, betrayed or resentful and not released these things with forgiveness, they are quick to be cynical about anything changing.
I have worked with some very cynical people. The irony is that the meaning of cynic is someone who believes only selfishness motivates human actions when in fact their cynicism comes out of their selfishness of wanting their own way.
How are you contributing to cynicism around you? Are you the one creating the scenarios? Or are you perpetuating the effects by agreeing with someone that is? God has a simple solution to those whose doubt keeps them trapped. Jude 22 'Be merciful to those who doubt.'
I encourage you to try a different tactic and speak hope or optimism into a negative situation today.
Speaking the Truth
Hebrews 10:23 'Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.'
James 1:5,6 ' If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks; he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 13 - The Belittling Tongue

2011-06-07T07:21:00.000-07:00

Belittle- to regard or portray as less impressive or important, disparage (to bring reproach upon)

I am afraid these blog entries are becoming a confessional as God speaks to my heart. Please don't hear me wrong, it is not with condemnation that I work through these things but with conviction and God's guidance, thankful that He loves me enough to discipline me. So forgive me Lord for all the times that I didn't allow my children or others to feel as important or worthy as they are in your sight.
I know from personal experience that insecurity and my desire to feel worthy fueled my tongue to make others feel less than.
It is not someone big and strong who uses their tongue this way but someone who is weak and fearful. Even in the early days of my walk with God, pride puffed me up to think I was somehow better than others who didn't know Him. Thankfully God is dealing with me on both of these issues and as I learn more about God's love and forgiveness, I am able to extend that to others as well.
God without love is just religion and that doesn't change hearts. This world is too hard without others around us to encourage and build us up.
Deborah Pegues asks the questions, 'Do people feel better about themselves after spending time with you? Words are like a hammer. They can tear down or they can build up. How do you use your words mostly? Is it your normal behavior to build?'
It's funny but I've never had a problem encouraging others that I had no expectations of. As God has been changing my heart to see others as He sees them; I am free to have less expectation and freely love those close to me. Thank you Lord.
Keep an inventory of how you use your words today. Encourage one another.
Speaking the Truth
Ephesians 4:29 ' Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 12 - The Betraying Tongue

2011-06-06T19:21:00.000-07:00

Betray - to deliver or expose to an enemy by treachery, to be unfaithful or disloyal to, to reveal (something meant to be hidden), to seduce or desert.
The ultimate story of betrayal for me is the story of Judas, one of Jesus' disciples. He walked with Jesus for 3 years and in one moment he gave into the temptation and handed Jesus over to the chief priests and elders for 30 silver coins.
This short snippet of scripture shows how this act of our tongue can destroy our soul.
Matthew 27:3-5' When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priests and the elders.
" I have sinned," he said," for I have betrayed innocent blood."
"What is that to us?" they replied," That's your responsibility."
So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.'
Unfortunately and not proudly, I have been on both sides of this coin. To be honest, either way can eat away at you if you let it and forgiveness is key to healing.
Part of the process to do this is to accept the truth about God as Deborah Pegues says,' Let it go. God saw the betrayal before it happened and while it was happening. Since He chose not to intervene, accept it as part of His sovereign plan for your life. He will work it out for your good.'
Set your mind to be trustworthy, someone who can keep a confidence.
Proverbs 11:3 ' A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.'
Ultimately it is better to trust in God than it is in man.
Speaking the Truth
Proverbs 3:4,5 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 11 - The Meddling Tongue

2011-06-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

Meddle- to involve oneself in a matter without right or invitation, interfere.
Ok are some of you cringing already? I didn't realize I should be more than I thought! You mean I can't stick my nose in my adult children's business? Man, I should have read this chapter before I talked to them yesterday! Ahh, but then I would not have as much material to write about and things to confess.
I am reminded again that the best way to tame our tongues is to be mindful of how unruly they truly are and if we do give in to temptation that comes, keep moving our eyes to Jesus and being quick to confess.
Deborah Pegues spoke directly to my heart in saying,' If your children have reached adulthood, try to accept the fact that grown-ups do not need parenting. The law of sowing and reaping the consequences of bad decisions is still one of the most effective teachers of life's lessons. Give them space to learn.'
Forgive me Lord for all the times I have interfered where I don't belong and not only with my children. I am sure I have thwarted your plans in some ways. Thank you that you always have a way despite us.
I know that I am naturally curious but as the author said if we are that way; we must make a special effort to keep inquisitiveness in the bounds of what is socially and spiritually appropriate.
God takes our meddling seriously and counts it as sin, putting it in the same sentence with murder and stealing.
1Peter 4:15 'If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler.'
I thought of the opposite meaning of meddle which would be avoid, dodge or ignore. These could be the tools we use to avoid the temptation of poking our nose in where it does not belong.
Avoid trying to control a situation with your interrogating. Dodge any attempt at someone looking for your opinion to draw you in. Have you ever played dodgeball? Run as hard as you can to avoid those balls coming at you. Ignore the urge to know everything about anything.
We have to be sensitive to the fact that our meddling may be offensive to those around us.
Deborah Pegue ended with,' Someone once said that one reason why people who mind their own business are so successful is they have so little competition. Think about that!'
Speaking the Truth
Hebrews 12:2 ' Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 10 - The Gossiping Tongue

2011-06-04T22:30:00.000-07:00

Gossip - idle talk or rumor, especially about the private affairs of others.
I admit that this use of the tongue is a difficult one for me to avoid. Not that I set out to gossip, but I need to be deliberate to stay, turn or walk away. I confess I am easily swayed into joining these conversations that are none of my business. It really must be a conscious effort to not bear or receive gossip about others. I also must be careful about who I associate with.
Proverbs 20:19 'A gossip betrays a confidence, so avoid a man who talks too much.'
You can almost bet that the person gossiping to you or asking you to 'share' is likely gossiping about you or 'passing on' what you've told them.
Loose lips sink ships. The origin of this phrase was coined as a slogan in WWII as part of the US Office of War Information in an attempt to limit the possibility of people inadvertently giving useful information to enemy spies. Loose lips might sink ships literally means unguarded talk may give useful information to the enemy.
I find no coincidence that gossip will give information to the enemy. The devil is deliberate in his plan is to steal, kill and destroy. The enemy will try to use this lack of integrity when we gossip to destroy others along with our own self-worth.
Deborah Pegue says,' What's the solution? How do you stop gossiping? Catch yourself before you indulge. Ask yourself why you are being a bearer of such news...Why are you willing to use the temple of God as a 'trash receptacle' by being a receiver of gossip?'
Speaking the Truth
Psalm 19:14 'May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.'

Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 9 - The Slandering Tongue

2011-06-04T22:03:00.000-07:00

Slander - to deliberately lie in order to cause harm, to defame.
I think a lot of us attribute this use of the tongue to a select group of people. Like politicians for example, the last election I had a hard time favoring certain parties who seemed to use most of their advertising slandering other parties.
I don't think any of us are exempt from being tempted to put another down with intent to harm. Those who may be weak and insecure could fall into this temptation in order to feel stronger.
The irony is that their intent to damage someone's image does not enhance their own, quite the opposite I have found.
God's word has great wisdom for someone who wants to keep their conscience clear without defaming others.
1 Peter 3:15,16 ' But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.'
Ephesians 4:31,32 ' Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.'
Remember when our mothers used to say, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all! We would do well to heed this advice.
As Deborah Pegue comments, 'We can be assured there won't be any slanderers in heaven.'
Psalm 15:1-3 'Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman.'
The author says, ' Since God has secured our destiny and has promised to avenge all wrongs perpetrated against us, why engage in slander? I find it interesting that the Greek word for "slander" is derived from diabolos, which means " devil". Slandering is an illegal, diabolical act that God abhors. Be careful what you sow with your words.'
Once you change your thinking, your words and actions will follow. So think on good things.
Speaking the Truth
Philippians 4:8 'Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right; whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.'

Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 8 The Self-Deprecating Tongue

2011-06-02T21:04:00.000-07:00

Self-deprecating - to express earnest disapproval or to belittle yourself.
Joyce Meyer says there are studies that prove we believe more of what we say to ourselves than what anyone else tells us.
It amazes me how much of the uses of our tongue in negative ways, traces back to our lack of identity. If we TRULY believed we were children of God and made in His image; would we belittle ourselves?
Genesis 1:27 'So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.'
Would we disapprove of the way we look if we REALLY believed in the beauty He created in us?
Ecclesiastes 3:11 ' He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.'
Deborah Pegues says,' Self-deprecation is often disguised as humility. In reality it is a rejection of the Word of God which says we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. (Phillipians 4:13) We need to watch the negative labels we put on ourselves. Have you had an experience that you have allowed to define you?'
Romans 12:2a 'Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.'
This is God's prescription for healing in this area. We will not change what we do until we learn to change the way we think. Transforming the mind is done through God's word. Speak the truth until your heart and mind believe it. You will have no reason to put yourself down when God's word builds you up.
Speaking the Truth
Psalm 139:13-16
'For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb,
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.'

Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.

Day 7 The Boasting Tongue

2011-06-01T09:01:00.000-07:00

Boast - To speak with excessive pride, brag.
Proverbs 27: 1,2
'Do not boast about tomorrow,
for you do not know what a day may bring forth.
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;
someone else, and not your own lips.
My husband said in the sales area of the company he works for, self-promotion is the buzzword. In the game of climbing the corporate ladder or gaining a reputation, God's favor is often forgotten. They boast in their abilities or accomplishments, ignoring or forgetting everything they have is from God.
Deborah Pegue has framed this verse and hung it in her office to remind her she is nothing without God. 1 Corinthians 4:7 'For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?'
Our pride keeps us from acknowledging God is the giver of all things. Whatever skills or talents we have been given are for God's glory, not ours. I have been guilty as well of bragging on my kids talents and abilities as though somehow I was the one who gave them all that. My motives were sometimes based in my own insecurity that if they were 'good', I was too. This is not saying we can't encourage our kids in what they have been given.
The author cautions that we learn to take praise in stride as well. If you consume the perfume of it, it can be toxic. As you examine your speech today, pray for a humble spirit and and acknowledge God in all your ways.
Speaking the Truth
1 Corinthians 15:10a 'But by the grace of God, I am what I am....'
Jeremiah 9:23,24
'This is what the Lord says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this;
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the Lord who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight."
declares the Lord.

Day 6 The Argumentative Tongue

2011-05-31T06:30:00.000-07:00

Argumentative- given to argument which is an oral disagreement or quarrel (angry dispute or al
tercation)
My husband and I heard a sermon a couple weeks ago that said we need to value our relationships more than our need to be right. One way to keep this possible is through humility.
When you are using your tongue to be argumentative, how humble are you at that moment? I am not saying you will never disagree or have discussions but at what point do we as Benjamin Franklin said, "On this point, I agree. But on the other, if you don't mind, may I take exception?"
There are two verses in the Bible that have helped me with this area of being argumentative, especially as a wife. The second half of Proverbs 19:13, ' and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.'
I am sure you've experienced a leaking tap or a drain. After a while the constant dripping is very irritating. I do not want to be this to my husband.
The other verses are Ephesians 4:26,27,' In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.'
Now it doesn't say we will never get angry, just not to sin in it. I have had a couple of those nights where I was angry at Wade and I stewed in it. I laid on MY side as far away as possible, awake most of the night, while he snored contendedly on HIS side oblivious to my distress. All it did was make me miserable and created opportunity for the devil to cause division.
So we try to heed to God's word in not letting the sun go down on our anger and work things out. I have had to learn to calm my argumentative tongue and sometimes just agree to disagree. I value my relationship with him more than proving I am right. It has not been an easy process believe me, but it brings much fruit.
Remember it takes two to tangle and some people are prone to try and draw you into a quarrel. The authors response to these types of people is to say with as much finality as she can, "Okay, that's your opinion."
Respecting someone's opinion will go far in taming our tongues. As Emmerson Eggerichs says in Love & Respect, "Choose to trust your spouse's good intentions."
I know this can apply to all kinds of relationships. As you reflect on how you use your tongue this way, can you stop, think and pray before you engage in your next quarrel?
Speaking the Truth
'What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.' Ephesians 4:1,2

Day 5 The Divisive Tongue

2011-05-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

Divisive - creating dissension or discord which is strong disagreement or lack of harmony.
I've heard it said that God's Kingdom is like math, God will add and multiply for His Kingdom, while satan will subtract and divide to try and break it apart.
I see the destructive effects of this use of the tongue daily. In my workplace, my immediate and extended family and sadly in the church.
Deborah Pegue writes, ' Divide and conquer is one of Satan's most effective strategies for hindering the effectiveness of any effort undertaken by two or more people. He knows the power, synergy and blessings that result when we work in harmony; therefore, he makes every effort to bring division.'
In Proverbs 6 it lists seven things the Lord detests, vs 19 says 'a man who stirs up dissension among brothers'.
To God disunity is serious business. Are you bringing peace or division by the words you speak?
Speaking the Truth
'Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.' Ephesians 4:2,3
'Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy...' Hebrews 12:14a

Day 4 The Hasty Tongue

2011-05-29T18:57:00.000-07:00

Hasty - speedy, hurried, unduly quick or rash.
I confessed at the beginning of this series that my tongue is sometimes quicker than my brain. Speaking hastily leaves no room for thoughtfulness or wisdom. The author shared that her mentor advised her to Stop, think and pray before she spoke.
I think this would be a good chapter to employ the use of Amy Carmichael's third question. Is it necessary? I am trying to listen more and recognize when my two cents are not necessary in a conversation.
My son Owen, who is 10, tends to throw in his ideas a lot. It drives his sisters crazy. We are trying to teach him that it is not always necessary to comment in a conversation, especially that others are having. Another thing we are trying to impart is that he does not have to prove that he is right, even if he is. His tongue is hasty not to let things lie as they may. I know this tendency is a learned behavior from his sisters and I. So I have hope that he can unlearn it as well.
One other downfall of a hasty tongue is we may end up making commitments we haven't really thought through or prayed about.
God wants us to keep our promises. Matthew 5:37 'Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes' and your 'No', 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.'
This verse has helped me to be a person of my word and so I do not want to be hasty in committing to things. I still need a lot of help to bite my tongue and sit on my hands. In the past I overcommitted a lot in order to please people, my heart is now to please God and use my time wisely.
I like how Deborah Pegue ends this chapter. 'Time and words are two things that, once gone, can never be recovered. We must take time to weigh our words before we release them.'
How are you weighing your words today?
Speaking the Truth
James 1:19 'My dear brothers (and sisters) take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.' (parentheses mine)

Day 3 The Manipulating Tongue

2011-05-28T21:01:00.000-07:00

Dictionary.com says manipulative means influencing or attempting to influence the behavior or emotions of others for one's own purposes.
I am afraid that even the title of this chapter has brought conviction in my heart. Praise God I have experienced a lot of redemption from using my tongue in this way. I think I am so sensitive to hearing others manipulate with their words because it is so familiar to me. Sadly, it has become so familiar to many people that they are unaware of the damage that it creates.
Manipulation started way back in the garden of Eden when the serpent influenced Eve to taste the fruit. I like how the author put it when she said, manipulation is deceptive and attempts to take away a person's freewill choice.
It seems to be more and more prevalent in society to be indirect and manipulative rather than upfront and honest. All kinds of tactics are used from guilt trips to portraying to be innocent, suffering victims of circumstances. Is this a result of our own insecurity? Think over a day of interacting with people and just ask God to reveal to you how often you or someone else employs this type of speaking.
As I reflect back to when this was a common way for me to communicate, it breaks my heart that I was that empty. My own sense of unworthiness was what fueled my manipulation.
If only....they would like me
If only....they would approve of me
If only....they would love me
Then I was ok....
This was a hard chapter to digest and so I don't want to belabor ir too much. I know for me freedom in this area has come from knowing I am worthy in Christ. So I will finish with His words of who we are for us to battle the use of manipulation.
Speaking the Truth
2 Corinthians 5:17 'Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone the new has come. vs 21 God made him who had no sin (Jesus) to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Day 2 The Flattering Tongue

2011-05-27T16:06:00.000-07:00

The adventure continues... Interestingly I have had much opportunity already to test my tongue temperature!
Flattery according to dictionary.com means a flattering compliment or speech;excessive insincere praise.
This use of the tongue is very familiar to me as I both received this and in turn used it for many years. I believe the root cause of this is insecurity and not having a true sense of identity.
The author suggests that engaging in flattery shows our lack of faith in God's ability to give us favor with others. All through the Bible there are many examples of God's children having favor with man. It usually involved much time of waiting and preparation. If we use flattery, it creates instant although empty results.
My Mom, bless her soul, spoke much in the way of flattery to me. The author says that if you over compliment a person the flower of your words will soon wilt and lose all impact. This is exactly the effect Mom's words created. They became hollow to me, perhaps early on there was temporary uplifting, but soon they were meaningless. I don't think this was her conscious intention but it took many years to receive things from others without thinking it was empty words.
Psalm 12:3 'May the Lord cut off all flattering lips and every boastful tongue' I don't want to lose the blessings of God by this careless use of my tongue.
I think flattery is sometimes mixed up with compliments. Compliment according to dictionary.com is an expression of praise, commendation or admiration.
Remember flattery is excessive and insincere while a compliment is genuine.
One of our tongue temperature checks for this can be a check of our motives when bringing praise. As Deborah Pegue says people generally look with disfavor, rather than favor on someone who compliments them with no apparent reason.
If you find yourself giving flowery praise, what are your intentions?
Speaking the Truth
(The author has todays affirmations as the closing of her chapters. I will close my daily entries with Speaking the Truth. I know speaking God's truth out loud is powerful and key in changing things in our hearts.)
'I will show partiality to no one, nor will I flatter any man, for if I were skilled in flattery, my Maker would soon take me away.' Job 32:21,22

Day 1 The Lying Tongue

2011-05-26T06:46:00.000-07:00

I invited you along on this journey to abstain from wrong uses of our tongues. I concede that these ideas are the opinions of the author (strong and convincing enough mind you that they were published!) from her book 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue. I encourage you to purchase this little pocketbook and read along. Some of the ideas you may not agree with and you may not even recognize or relate to them in yourself. I challenge you to ask God to reveal if any of these ways are in you. As we talk about deceit this first chapter, remember that deceit or trickery is one of satan's favorite things to do and our eyes may be blinded.
Although correction can be painful, I know that God intends it for your good. My prayer is that our hearts will be open. I hope too that we will realize all of the willpower in the world will not be sufficient to bring permanent change. I believe that only the Spirit of God can bring true change in bridling our tongue and bringing it into submission. Deborah Smith Pegues also gives a caveat in this book that it is not meant for us to avoid expressing personal boundaries, desires or displeasure with situations. Confrontation is sometimes needed for resolution but we can learn to speak wisely and in a timely manner.
So all of this being said, let this be our cry for change in a lying tongue. Psalm 120:2 'Save me O Lord, from lying lips and from deceitful tongues.'
The author proposes lying comes in four basic ways. Deceitfulness, half-truths, exaggerations and flattery. Flattery gets the whole next chapter to itself.
Are you uncomfortable with me already?
Deceive according to Websters is to mislead by a false appearance or a statement; trick.
Deceit is in essence, not trusting God with an outcome. When we feel the need to manipulate or trick in a situation, we are taking it into our oh so human hands. Yikes.
Integrity derives from the word integer. It is a mathematical term that means a whole number as opposed to a fraction.
The other day my husband, son and I were shopping for supplies to finish our gates. We had left and I was looking over the bill when I realized they had only charged us for 6 boards when we had taken 8. They were $2.84 a piece. Wade did not hesitate as he found somewhere to turn around and go pay for those two boards. What an example to our son and to my heart. It was a teachable moment about the meaning of integrity and walking in truth. Would you turn back for $5.86 plus tax? Would you turn back for a quarter?
Do you know anyone who exaggerates the truth? I do and often I don't put much merit into the things they say. I find it sad to base their credibility on that but sometimes I cannot see through the filter of their past storytelling.
I too need to learn to be enthusiastic about telling a story versus embellishing it for attention.
God has a stern warning in Revelation that all liars will be seperated from Him. How serious are you in taking your tongue temperature around lying? Bring to God in confession those areas which are weak.
Speaking the truth:
'My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. All the words of my mouth are just, none of them is crooked or perverse' Proverbs 8:7,8

How is your tongue temperature?

2011-05-25T21:05:00.000-07:00

As I continue to journey deeper with God, He is gently placing His finger on areas of my life that hmmm, let's say, need attention. One of these areas is my mouth. Now this is not the first time I have talked about this, nor will it be the last. I sometimes talk a lot and it is not all necessary. God is showing me how wretched I am without Him.
It frightens me how quickly careless things come out of my mouth. There are times when I engage my tongue much quicker than my brain. It takes a lot of discipline to be able to think before I speak. I know I cannot overcome these temptations without God's help.
Although I know I am not where I used to be, I have a long way to go. It was just last week at work when a woman accused me of blaming her for something that sarcasm quickly came across my lips, but 5 or 6 words into it, I had a Holy Spirit prompting to zip my lip and love her instead. Thankfully because of that, she left grateful instead of discouraged or bitter.
Amy Carmichael says the best way to check our tongue temperature is to ask yourself 3 questions before you speak.
1. Is it kind?
2. Is it true?
3. Is it necessary?
I realized when I read this that usually the things I say are kind and true but man do I fall short on the is it necessary!
I heard another teaching on the weekend that wasn't necessarily just talking about our mouths but it involves using it for life and not death. Humility was the subject. In order to keep this posture in our relationships, we needed to value the relationship more than being right.
To me this means to not necessarily say the things that are in us. I pray that God will redeem the many, many times I have not held my words in check and caused fractures in my relationships.
I have prayed much lately Psalm 141:3 'Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.'
As I have become more aware of this battle to use my tongue for good, God reminded me of a little book I have called "30 Days to Taming Your Tongue" by Deborah Smith Pegues.
So I have set my mind to read this for the next 30 days and to blog each day about how it is speaking to me. Will you come along with me on this challenge? I know there are probably not too many of you who may read this that have trouble with their tongues?! Oops, I think sarcasm may be somewhere in this book, well I will know better for next time.
Please also pray for me as I will for you because I know daily there are opportunities to fall into these temptations or choose the high road. I will let God's word have the final say as I leave you with Paul's words from Ephesians 4:29,30
'Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption'

Glossing over Intimacy

2011-05-13T20:46:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 62:5 'As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.
Gloss in my dictionary comes right after the word glory. It is in its proper place there. I have been discovering that I gloss over glory though.
My prayers have been that God take me deeper with Him. I believe that He has been taking different steps to accomplish this. I am trying to live out the truth that Joyce Meyer says, 'Jesus did not die so we could have religion, He died so that we could have deep, personal, intimate relationship with Him.'
Gloss according to Websters means a superficial luster or shine, a deceptively good appearance or my favorite one is; to give a misleading interpretation of.
As I have walked in relationship with God, I've often felt something is missing. I have given a good appearance of knowing Him. Don't get me wrong, I know that He loves me and He died for my sins. I know that I am forgiven and He provides many blessings. I am a sinner, saved by grace and I will go to heaven and have eternal life because I chose Jesus Christ as my Savior.
I know this all in my head but I think I have been glossing over the surface of the relationship with God. As I have prayed though, I believe He is moving it into my heart. I have been asking Him to help me KNOW Him. I want to live out of the love He has so freely given me. I weep now as I clearly see how He is answering my cries for help.
First He gave me an acronym that He wanted me to be H.O.T. for Him, Humble, Obedient, Trusting. Just that simple.
Next He made me aware of a workshop. Gifted, Called, Empowered. One of the teachings in this group of women was different forms of Spiritual disciplines and communicating with God.
Then I was invited to a women's bible study where they were studying a book called Satisfy My Thirsty Soul, ha need a I say more. It is an incredible book about learning to worship God in all we do.
Last, but I am sure not least, was an opening to attend a women's retreat. My mentor, Shannon Ethridge spoke and encouraged us to be completely His. She gave a series of talks based on her book about learning to love Jesus without limits.
As I move from glossing over to deep with God - which is extending far down from the top or surface. Will you come along with me?
I have discovered a deeper level of intimacy with my God only by spending more deliberate time alone with Him. I began with scheduling it and although I still do, I hunger for that time alone with Him now.
Thank you for answering my prayers Lord as I claimed your promise that if I will draw near to You, You will draw near to me. I pray that You will spark that hunger and thirst in others to really KNOW you. I know we will be changed by Your love. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Life Burst Through!

2011-04-27T10:56:00.000-07:00

I can't remember a time when I have ever longed for spring to come as I did this year. A part of that longing was because we moved to a new city in the dead of winter. I craved new life as I adjusted to our new surroundings.

The significance of Easter weekend always makes my heart sing. Along with this time came the beginning of our spring weather. There were occasional warmer days before but this is a week in a row!

The excitement of resurrection Sunday had me awake at 5 am. I read the account of the women at Jesus' tomb as I sat on my veranda watching the sunrise. I tried to imagine their reaction; their range of emotions from despair to elation as they encountered the living Jesus!

Life burst through the tomb!

Spring has sprung through the tomb of winter. The snow has melted, the birds are singing, water is rushing.

Wade and I joined 8 other people who were strangers to us but one in Spirit. We met at a lake near our home Easter morning. We celebrated with joyful hearts what Jesus had done for us.

New life burst forth all around us. Ducks were on the lake and the grass was turning green. We were reflecting on God's goodness to us and a huge flock of geese flew overhead in an amazing formation.

It was a reminder to me that where God is there is life. He arranges the tiniest details. We may not always see if if we are not looking for Him. Especially if our circumstances feel like a tomb. It is our reaction to the things around us that determines our state of heart.

What areas of your life do you need God's life to burst through?

I will end with a portion of the theme from our sunrise service Easter morning. When things are troubling for you, remember Jesus burst through in order to give you life in abundance.

Life Burst Through

Just when we thought it was over, God,

When we'd packed our hope and headed home,

back to the same-old, same-old...

Life burst through!

Stones thrust aside!

Life breathed in stifling tomb!

Light pierced dark crypt

where we had laid you to rest

thinking we were finished with you.

Who would have guessed? Life where we expected death!

God burst your Easter life into our tombs!

Afternoon Delight!

2011-04-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

Psalm 37:4
'Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.'

I love this verse in the amplified bible. It shows me that God knows my secret desires without me even giving voice to them.

I witnessed the fruit of this verse as I experienced a gift for my heart. Two of my beautiful friends made a road trip to visit me on Friday.

Now these are two of the people I miss the most since our move. We used to meet once a week or at least every two weeks for the last few years. They have been integral in spurring me on as we've encouraged, laughed, cried, lived life and prayed together.

God knew the secret petitions of my heart as I longed for their fellowship. He also knew theirs in spending time with me.

It is a beautiful thing to know and be known. One of these friends I haven't seen since we moved. As we sat down with our tea around my new counter, it was like we'd never left. They are the epitome of being kindred spirits.

Our whole day was one complete blessing. It made my heart smile to see my friends enjoy every bit of it. We went for a delectable lunch and then to the legislative building. We were treated like royalty and went for a tour to see the incredible building. Amazed by its history and the freedom we had to explore; we sat with tea in the basement and prayed for our government and the privilege to be doing just that.

We marveled at how God blessed us with an afternoon so tailored to who we were. I know full well how these friends of mine delight in our Lord.

It encouraged me so much to see Him faithful to His word and give us the desires of our hearts. Thank you my friends and my God for this beautiful timely gift.

Delight : a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment, joy; rapture

How are you finding delight in God? There are so many ways to take pleasure in His Creation. Be deliberate to find the joy and your hearts desires will be realized.

Road to Surrender

2011-03-30T20:25:00.000-07:00

Why does it take me so long before I pray?

God already knows what my heart has to say.

Surrender, I must. Surrender, I might,

Why is it always such a huge fight?

I just think I have it all figured out,

God knows too, what that's all about!

He says ask, He'll give; seek, I'll find

I keep trying to open the door from behind.

Draw near to me and I will to you,

I'm tired of this seeming a hard thing to do.

Lord thanks for your patience, your unending love ,

Despite my shortcomings, it fits like a glove.

So I stand and come boldly to your throne of grace

And know that without you I'd fall flat on my face.

I seek first your kingdom, your heart and your soul,

And discover its in me to give after all.

I find in the struggle You're all that I need.

So humbly I bow and let You take the lead.

Mindlessness

2011-03-19T16:55:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. I am trying with God's help to overcome some areas of weakness. One of these is overeating. I have been starting to pray specifically for strength in this area to be prepared when temptation comes knocking.

Up until recently I have been deceived in my thinking that God will remove my weakness. I prayed as Paul did that God would remove this thorn in my side. I sense new insight into God's reply that His grace is sufficient for us, that His power is made perfect in weakness.

It is in these places that God is glorified, when we know we are too weak to have overcome something on our own. If we did not have these weaknesses, Christ's power and forgiveness would not be necessary.

When we come to the end of ourselves in these areas, it is the only place we have any hope of overcoming them. It will not be the last time we face the temptation, the devil makes sure he plays on our weaknesses. God sometimes allows them to bring these things to the surface as he has with me. We will be stronger in Christ's power to resist it next time though.

Back to my confession. I had an inkling for a snack and within 10 minutes ate 3 licorice, 1 Oh Henry easter egg, a handful of crackers and 1/2 cup of peanuts! I realized about 3/4 of the way through my pigfest, how mindlessly I had accomplished this.

Mindless according to Websters is showing, using, or requiring no intelligience or thought.

I believe this is a common tool built up in our minds to keep us stuck in strongholds or patterns of thinking. We need to become mindful instead; attentive and aware. Attentive first of all to the weakness in us and aware that we cannot have victory in this area without God's help.

It frightened me how easily mindless I am of things sometimes. I thought of the many ways this world can keep us this way also. Television, computers, cell phones, video games, where a lot of the time no intelligience need be used.

I read a line that said God's armor is tailor made for you but you must put it on. He has given us what we need to be mindful of the things that tempt our weaknesses.

Ephesians 6: 10-18

'Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this,take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.'

I am thankful that God is working and my armor is becoming thicker. In this particular weakness I have been mindless for many years. I am grateful to sense His grace 3/4 of the way through instead of not at all!

What areas of your life have you been mindless in? Are you tired enough of your weakness to ask God for help? Please have mercy Lord.

PS

2011-03-09T13:32:00.000-08:00

I was looking back at a couple of older posts and just wanted to share with you that my husband is doing well. We believe God brought healing to him. He did not have to have a dilation done the day of the procedure. He has not been experiencing any difficulties since then. God continues to soften my heart with compassion, thankfully.
Thank you for your prayers and concern. We appreciate them a lot.

Do You Really Want To Know?

2011-03-07T14:24:00.000-08:00

As I was waiting in line at WalMart one day, I looked over to see a boy of about 3, finish licking to the end of the counter by the conveyor belt. I silently cringed and was leaning over to tell him that was really gross when he stopped. His mother was oblivious to his antics as she helped her daughter with her coat. I turned to grab some things from my cart and as I turned back I witnessed the end of him licking his way back!

I moved to share with his mom what I had seen, then hesitated. Perhaps she was better off not knowing. It seemed I was just going to get him in trouble. By the looks of him that would not be the first time nor would it be his last.

This scene created opportunity to brighten the clerks day as we joked that perhaps he will obtain incredible immunity from that experience. I also prayed for his protection.

It struck me as I was moved to keep this boys mother in oblivion, perhaps that is what God thinks for us. We are better off not knowing what is going to happen to us, good or bad. We are better off choosing to trust Him in obedience than to get the full picture.

Just think for a moment how overwhelming it could be for us to know what is coming around the corner. We can never really prepare for things until we walk through them.

Two incidents in my own life came to mind as I contemplated this. One was my mothers' death and the other was our move to Regina.

Although my Mom had suffered with bipolar disorder many years and had previously tried to take her life; nothing could have prepared us for the finality of her success in this. I was better off not knowing the depths of grieving I would face.

When it started to become clear to us that we were to move to Regina, we began to prepare. There were many aspects we could plan, decisions to pray about and make. We looked at over 50 houses before we found ours. It took much longer to sell ours than we anticipated as the market slowed down. The move ended up looking nothing like we expected. And once everything was said and done I could not have prepared my heart for the impact of leaving family, friends and the city I had lived in for 25 years.

In hindsight, I was better off not knowing and in the process of trusting God in all of these things, my faith was deepened. I watched God be faithful at meeting us at every place, in ways I could not have imagined. Hebrews 11:1 says ' Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.'

I am thankful that God protects my heart and always has my best in mind, even when it doesn't feel like it. Sharon A. Hersh said it best in her book, Begin Again Believe Again,' Learning to trust in God's protection requires that we give up our image of what protection is. We tend to believe that protection means we will experience no harm or hardship. Trusting God's protection compels us to accept harm and hardship not only as a context in which God cares for us but also a place of protection. We must come to believe that God's care is more real than our pain and that His protection is active even when we can't see it.'

Jesus says in John 14:1 ' Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.'

Is there an area of your life that you need to trust God with today? Believe that He is working all the time, even if you can't see it.

How Sweet It Is......

2011-03-03T09:39:00.000-08:00

I spent last weekend at Temple Gardens Mineral Spa with three sweet friends. It was our first reunion since I moved 3 months ago.
I have to admit that I had some expectations of our time together. And I pictured what it would look like. (Yes I do often forget that I am not God and not in control of everything!)
I imagined that we would encourage each other, spur one another on, pray for each other and have revelation of God's insight, along with fun and relaxation. We did all of these things but not in ways that I expected. Thankfully God is more creative in working things out than I imagine!
One of my highlights was that we shared each others stories, from birth till now. As we listened to one another I marvelled at how blessed I am to know such amazing women. Women who are so full of love from all the joy, hardships, blessings and difficulties that God has walked them through. We laughed, we cried, we celebrated God's grace.
We realized we have become richer, more like Jesus, through the incredulous pain and sorrow we have experienced. We voiced how we would not change most of these things because of the lessons learned and character produced from them.
To know and be known. Isn't that what we long for? I was encouraged and spurred on by unconditional love, these women love me despite myself! It is easy to be with them and reassuring to be known by them.
The blessing of the weekend was an extension of God's love, how He knows me. Psalm 139, vs 1 & 13 give a tiny picture of this amazing truth, 'O Lord, you have searched me and you know me....For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb.'
It can't get any more intimate than that!
All through our weekend together the song How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) kept playing in my mind. I came home and looked up the lyrics. I am sure that Marvin Gaye was singing this to a lover but in the spirit of our friendship, I felt the words were very fitting and God gave them to me for a reason.
' I needed the shelter of someone's arms and there you were,
I needed someone to understand my ups and downs and there you were,
With sweet love and devotion
deeply touching my emotion
I want to stop and thank you baby
I just want to stop and thank you baby
How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you.'
Thank you to ALL my girlfriends! This journey would be difficult without you. How sweet it is to be loved by you!
Is there someone you need to share God's love with? Is there someone you need to thank for loving you? Are you letting THE ONE who knows you, love you?

Everyone needs compassion!

2011-02-23T21:03:00.000-08:00

I am very grateful for the husband God has blessed me with. Sharon A. Hersh in her book Begin Again, Believe Again writes, "When we believe that we are loved even when we are good for nothing, we can rest from all our striving. That is freedom."
Wade has been faithful in showing me this principle. Believe me there have been times when I have been good for nothing. He is committed to love me regardless. I have experienced more freedom through our relationship than I ever have as he loves me with Christ's love.
Ephesians 5:25-28, 31-33
'Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself...
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.'
See I believe if we love and respect one another as God commands us, the blessings are incredulous. We also are right in the middle of His will when we do this.
John 15:12 says,' My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.'
One of my good for nothing things God is working out in me is my lack of compassion. Without a long history lesson, I always felt I needed to be strong for others, that it was weak to show weakness. This took me to the extreme end of the spectrum in that my first response to pain and suffering was always suck it up, or its not that bad. Empathy has not been my strong suit.
One of the ways God is refining me is through Wade. He struggles with a stricture in his esophagus, a recurring health issue.
As my love and trust deepen through God in our marriage, so does my compassion for Wade and others. It has not been an easy journey for either of us. There have been times when my first instinct is, Oh c'mon, but I am recognizing it sooner. God is giving me His sight for Wade.
We still continue to trust and pray for his healing. It is difficult to watch him struggle. My husband walks out his journey with integrity, trusting God for his best and loving me and our family with God's love.
I have heard it said, Preach all the time and if necessary use words! Wade's life is a testimony.
Please pray for him as he faces an invasive procedure tomorrow morning!

Choose Life

2011-02-15T13:25:00.000-08:00

Isn't it an amazing concept that God chooses us? The God who created all things chose me to be His child! The flip side of this is that the God who created all things has given us free will. This used to be such a conundrum to me why God would allow weak, fallible humans the opportunity of choice. Why did He make it an option to choose Him?
This becomes less puzzling as I get to know Him better.
God is love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Now try reading it with God instead of love...
Always - all the time, continuously, forever!
I love my husband very much. Ten years ago when we met my thinking was still pretty unhealthy. I thought that I could force relationship with him. Thank God he had a little more wisdom than I and backed away for a time.
I am not saying that this was not a painful time but I shudder to think of the rotten fruit that would have been produced had he given in to my demands. We married 5 years ago on the solid rock of Christ and forgiveness. We chose each other in love and the fruit is intimacy and a deepening desire to know more of the other everyday.
In the same way, God does not want to force Himself on us or control our choices. His heart is for us and He desires for us to choose Him. He knows though that the intimacy comes from our desire for Him. It is our deliberate act of choice as we recognize our need for Him that creates relationship.
Deuteronomy 31:19,20a "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to Him. "
Are your choices creating life or death for you?
I want to dedicate this blog entry to my sister Kerri. 2 years ago today she chose life and has been clean and sober. She knows that without God she would not be where she is now and possibly not even alive. Bless you girl, I am proud of you and amazed at the miracles of our God! Keep on keeping on.

Stinkin' Thinkin'

2011-02-08T11:34:00.000-08:00

Deliberate according to Websters means; studied or intentional, careful or slow in deciding, slow and even; unhurried, to weigh in the mind;consider.
I believe that God is speaking to me about being deliberate. It is necessary to gain victory in my life.
I have been deliberate about getting on the treadmill everyday. I am also deliberate in doing things to improve my marriage. My husband Wade and I are taking a marriage course. We have been intentional about spending time going to it and in doing our homework together.
As I have sensed the conviction in these areas of my life, I realize more and more how unintentional or not deliberate I am in other ways as well.
How studied or intentional am I at learning God's word. How much do I consider in my mind to actually be obedient to it? How often do I allow my thoughts to just go on unhindered?
2 Corinthians 10:5 says, 'We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.'
Being obedient is not a passive act. See the action needed in this one verse alone. Demolish...take captive....make it obedient....
I am guilty of passive thinking that ends up stinkin' thinkin' as its been said. A place where I follow my feelings and thoughts to a pit of untruth. When I am not deliberate about giving my thoughts to God, it can lead to disobedience.
For example, last year through a series of events I knew in my spirit God called me to write. Then just as easily thorough a series of doubt, I allowed myself to become discouraged and confused. It started by looking around me and comparing myself with others. I chose doubt instead of the truth.
Being deliberate is a decision. I am choosing to think about what I am thinking about. I need to arrest or take captive those thoughts that don't line me up with God's thoughts about me.
It is hard work! I have been passively thinking for many years. I cannot do it alone. This is where God comes in, I make the choices after He has prompted me, and He makes the changes.
'For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.' Hebrews 4:12
Thank you Lord for helping me be deliberate about you. Please renew my mind with your Word and Spirit.
What are you thinking about?

Standing Ovation

2011-01-29T15:14:00.000-08:00

I was infused with breath. A 24 hour injection of familiarity. Now I realize this does not always bring life. There is an idiom that states ' Familiarity breeds contempt', which means the more you know something, the more you start to find fault with it. This was not the meaning I sought.
We have lived in Regina 8 weeks today and I was in need of something familiar in the midst of all that wasn't. So my son, Owen and I traveled to Saskatoon Wednesday afternoon for a dose of something known.
I felt this was part of the process to accept the new things. You see, I sense this separation from what is familiar is completely in God's plan for myself and my family. I just never expected the impact that it had on my heart with so many changes.
I made a decision on the way back home as I sang praise music to God. I could either determine to let the changes be an opportunity to trust God more or let it swallow me up. The swallowing part was not an option and so I promised God I would try not to 'figure out' why things looked or felt the way they did. I would merely ask Him to inhabit the things going on and give me His sight to see Him in it.
A song by Mark Roach playing at the time confirmed His desire to show me that. It is called Surrounded.
'You are here in spite of everything I am>And everything I'm not>When my tears seem like my only water>Fill me with your song Oh God> And I lift up my hands to praise You>I lift up my voice>And I'm surrounded,I'm astounded By Your presence in this place, I can hear you, I feel so near You, I can almost see your face,I am clothed in love, surrounded by Your Grace.
The beautiful thing about our trip was that I realized God has released me from Saskatoon. Funny, I looked up familiarity in the thesaurus and one synonym was freedom. So although there are still people there I long for, I feel free to be in a new city and be who He wants me to be here.
Owen and I both received life from those we saw and love and who are familiar. Strength to press on.
Thanks to my daughter Tessa, my friends Florence and Arlene and all of Owen's friends and his teacher at his old school.
As Owen said when he walked in to spend the day with his old classmates, ' I got a standing ovation!'
Thank you Lord for giving our hearts a 'standing ovation' to encourage us on the journey.
What about you? Is there something that is unfamiliar in your life at this time where you can determine to trust God with the outcome?

Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

2011-01-19T20:57:00.000-08:00

Smoke on the Water took on a whole new meaning for me today. It was my first day of guitar lessons. I was so excited and proud of my progress after just thirty minutes of instruction. I couldn't wait to show my son, Owen, what I learned when he got home from school.
"Check this out, "I said excitedly and picked off the notes.
"Oh, I know that song," he said as his eyes lit up. "Can I try?"
So with the lesson fresh in my mind, I passed it on to my eager nine year old. And in five minutes, he was playing it better than me.
What is up with that? Well once I properly placed my stolen moment in my humility bag, I marvelled at Owen's ability to pick things up so quickly. This verse came to mind as I thanked God for his gifts.
Deuternomy 4:9 'Only be careful and watch yourself closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.'
And also in chapter 6:5-7 ' Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.'
I was reminded by Owen's quick study how impressionable children are. And how God has given me a great responsibility to impress Him on my children's hearts. Owen said they talked at school about being careful what they watched. I wondered if while he watched me, does he see Jesus in the things I do and say.
I need to remember that his brain is like a sponge and to talk about my love for God as we sit at home and when we walk and when he goes to bed and when he awakes. His love for God is simple and pure and I pray that I do not get in the way.
Are you loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and strength in order to pass this on to your children? How are you impressing the things of God into their hearts? Make a decision today to add one part of God into your routine and watch your child lap it up. Bless you in this great responsibility.

But......

2011-01-11T13:11:00.000-08:00

"Just start." my daughter said.
She'd been asking me for ideas to get her photos and art 'out there' to possibly sell. I became a fountain of inspiration for her and so I asked in turn, perhaps you have some ideas for my writing.
Hence the response, just start.
What a novel idea I thought. Why is it so easy for me to come up with 101 ways for someone to accomplish their desires? And I can come up with 101 things I 'need' to do before I just start?
This seems to be a repeating theme in my life and in many different areas of it. It is not as if I haven't heard these words of wisdom before. It just resonated differently in my heart today. I was ready.
Joyce Meyer said on her program today. "Nobody on earth has more authority over yourself than you do. What are you saying to yourself?"
I need to challenge the doubts, rise up to the discouragement and trust God for this part of my journey. I keep saying if I don't put my heart into my writing now at the season I am in, then when will I?
So, you are now witness to my putting my pen where my mouth is. I'll do what I can, so that God can do the rest.
'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.' Philippians 4:13
What do you need to 'just start' today?

God In The Rocks

2010-08-07T11:37:00.000-07:00

Fistfuls of rocks. This is what I acquired as I emptied my son, Owens’s pockets after his week at camp. I was doing laundry and thought I had better double check before I threw in his shorts. As I looked through his collection I smiled. He had been a rock collector ever since he could pick them up I think. In fact, all of my children collect rocks.

I used to be annoyed by this seemingly useless gathering of stones. The older they get though, the more I appreciate their pleasure in doing this. You see, I believe that they see God’s creation in each stone they discover. It is an art for them to find just the ‘right’ ones or the very unique ones. They do not only gather for their own pleasure but for those that they love.

My oldest Keshia is on a missions trip in Alaska and she has gathered stones there with much meaning. She also tried to send her brother one, but alas it broke through the envelope to hopefully be admired by someone else. I am sure it won’t be the same though as each stone given is picked with careful consideration of the receiver. Keshia knew her brother would be amazed at the rock picked from an Alaskan mountain.

Tessa, my middle child, just returned from a trip to BC. She was amazed by God’s creation in all that she saw there. She brought us all a gift from her trip. Guess what it was? Rocks! Her brother got one in the shape of a sword which made her think of him. I got one that was green, my favourite color. Wade, my husband, got a multicoloured rock. Her sister, an orange one with crystals that sparkles. Her boyfriend found her one in the perfect shape of a heart.

I can’t help but think of the significance that God attached to stones for remembering the things He had accomplished. He also used stones or rock as symbolism for himself or Jesus. Isaiah 28:17 says, ‘So this is what the Sovereign Lord says: See I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who trusts will never be dismayed.’

Isaiah 26:2 says, ‘Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.’

I think one of the most amazing references in scripture to stones is one spoken by Jesus responding to the Pharisees. Jesus was entering Jerusalem and the people were praising Him loudly. In Luke 19:39&40, Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”

“I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

Jesus was telling them that even His creation speaks of Him, but they had chosen not to listen. The Pharisees and many others did not recognize the Messiah. I like to think that the stones speak to my children. My heart is for them to stand on The Rock, God eternal and that each stepping stone toward Him is significant. I know that they have recognized their redeemer, their rock and I hope that their hearts of stone continue to become hearts of flesh.

Each rock my children find has great significance for them. I also know that my children have great significance to the One who created them and the rocks. And so as they continue their journey I will be excited to gather with them, their stones of remembrance. Each one with a little piece of God embedded inside.

Texas In July

2010-07-24T06:53:00.000-07:00

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20, 21

These verses keep going through my mind as I continue to unpack my trip to Texas. As I have shared before, I am in a mentoring program called BLAST, Building Leaders, Authors, Speakers & Teachers. Author and speaker Shannon Ethridge is sharing her multi-faceted experiences and knowledge with 40 of us from around the world. It has been an incredible experience.

We have small groups that communicate and help us stay accountable within the course. Debbie from North Carolina is one of the women from my small group. In May we were doing our monthly call and we felt moved to step out in faith to start praying, Texas in July. It became our motto when we talked in June and we asked Kristin, from Wyoming if she would join us.

As we moved closer to the time of the July class, God amazingly started to open doors for this to become a reality. The more we believed on Him doing it, the more things started coming together. It is so amazing as I remember this process in hindsight. So before we knew it Debbie and I had our flights booked within minutes of each other arriving and departing. We booked rooms and a car rental. We discovered Kristin would not be able to join us, although we were disappointed, we were trusting that God had a plan even in that.

July 9^th arrived through a whirlwind of a new job and a nasty flu I ended up catching from my son. Before I knew it I was on a plane at 6 in the morning off to Texas. I just made my connection in Denver after going through customs and then security again. God’s mercy I am sure. As I stepped off the plane in Dallas, I looked to the right and there to greet me was Debbie. She said she recognized my voice first!

It felt like meeting with an old friend. God blessed us with a connection right from the start. We found our rental car and started off on our journey to Garden Valley. Thank goodness for GPS. (whatever did we do without those?) We stopped to have lunch at a place where I could experience a southern bbq, but alas Debbie said it was not like true bbq. They are all about the meat down there in Texas!

We arrived at the Anchorage Cafe at Mercy Ships ministry base an hour ahead of schedule. We sat down on the patio with lemonade in the muggy Texas heat. It was glorious! I could feel myself winding down already, just ready to rest in whatever God brought our way.

Shannon arrived extending her invitation to stay at her house. Another unexpected blessing. She drove us around the area explaining all of the rich ministries that were based there. Mercy Ships, Teen Mania, Youth with a Mission. Keith Green, a forerunner in Contemporary Christian music, had started Last Days Ministry before his life ended in a plane crash. Paul Baloche, Christian songwriter and worship leader is Shannon’s friend and the worship leader at their church.

I could hardly take in how richly blessed this area of East Texas was. Obviously God’s hand and favour were upon many things here. It was beautiful countryside as well. I had pictured Texas as dry and hot, little tumbleweeds blowing in the wind. This land was lush and green with many trees and flowering shrubs. Another gift.

I won’t go through every detail of my trip but I will say that each part of it was more than I could have asked or imagined. It was a privilege to meet some of the people we had been watching on video for 10 months. It felt like we knew them already. I must say it was a humbling experience to watch others do presentations and hear of what God is doing in their lives. I felt quite ordinary but I believe that too was a gift from God. I just wanted to take in as much as I could without the hindrance of thinking I was something. I get in the way much too often.

My expectations were in the right place for a change, in God alone. To Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine!

What kind of experiences has God given you that were more than you imagined? Take a moment to recall these times, the building blocks of faith God has planted in you.

Father, thank you for blessing me with this opportunity to experience you in a new way. Help me to trust you in all things and with every opportunity that comes my way. I want to live in the power of God and not in my own strength. I want to humbly accept all that you offer me. Remind me of your faithfulness when I forget. I will always praise You.

Soul Solitude

2010-06-13T21:35:00.000-07:00

The current flows quickly down the river. It is full of life and purpose and direction, the wind helping it along. In front of me a huge boulder peeks its corner above the surface. It beckons me to wade out and sit on it, dangling my feet in the rushing water. I am fascinated by the pattern of the river around it. The water rushes up about ¾ of the red rock and pools down in seeming whirlpools of spinning bubbles. It left the top ¼ of the rock exposed to the hot sun. The current is diverted only temporarily though as it bubbles on the other side like volcanic lava. Finally the swirling loops escape as though a valve were opened to continue its flow down the river. Occasionally a stick or leaf is drawn into the boulders’ curious bubbles. The pull of the current doesn’t contain them for long though.

All of a sudden it strikes me that I am like this rock. The river symbolizes God which is life. I am like this boulder buried deep in the bed of the river, a child of God. The currents are the circumstances of life rushing in at me, sometimes trying to cover over me. The wind is like the enemy hurrying things along, trying to overwhelm me. And sometimes, like now when I haven’t sunk deep into the riverbed, I spin into the whirlpools. I twist and turn trying to free myself. My flesh says fight, my spirit says rest.

The dry rocky place is reminiscent of my heart; Scorched by the heat from no protection. It is hard and weathered, parched for a breath of life.

I realize suddenly that I have been a temporary reservoir. I have been a place to hold things and spin them around trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I am becoming educated way beyond my level of obedience. This is a dangerous place reflecting in self-discovery.

God means for me to be a channel for His life to flow to others. Not a collection place that bears little or no fruit. I believe to be free of this self-discovery I need to proclaim what is right with me. And it has NOTHING to do with me!

John 15:3&4 states,’ You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.’

I look up at the trees above me and their long trunks are curved and bent over. It is as though their leaves are parched for a drink from the river. It reminds me of Jesus as the vine, how I need only to hang on it. As my soul longs for God and all He has for me, I bend my knee surrendering to rest. My parched soul is filled again with a drink of life. I desire to obey Him, just to get Him. Nothing for me. All that is right with me is Him.

Thank you Lord for your patience with me as I spin around in my own whirlpools. Help me to remain in you when the wind and the currents come rushing in. Thank you that you desire for me to sink deep into your riverbed and be overcome with your love.

A Heart Displayed

2010-05-27T22:09:00.000-07:00

My heart is grieved today. It is for the things that I have done right. Does that sound ridiculous? A new urgency was placed in me to deal with matters of my heart that God has revealed. Yesterday I heard from a talk, your behaviour cannot outpace your heart. Meaning whatever is in your heart will eventually manifest in your actions, regardless of how good we behave and try to cover it up.

All these years I have tried to do the ‘right thing’. I have had the appearance of being nice, when underneath I may have been in judgment of the person receiving my ‘good’ behaviour. I have laughed and smiled appropriately (at least appropriate to my audience, but possibly at things inappropriate that grieved God). I have put others before me (although sometimes begrudgingly with selfish motives). I have acted for many different parts but yet never been in a play.

Do you hear my heart? Do not get me wrong, there have been plenty of authentic moments in me. I have been nice truthfully, laughed honestly and genuinely cared and helped others. I believe that I am basically a good willed person. It is just that my methods and motives have sometimes been whacked or off course. As I shared last time, there is nothing that I can do to atone for the bad in me. Jesus’ sacrifice of His life is the only act that can cover that.

I believe that as I have asked God to reveal the things in me that keep me far from Him, He has been faithful in removing the scales from my eyes. As my heart has been laid out there, I see that it is not only my ‘obvious sin’ that keeps me stuck. Things such as anger, judgment, hurtful words. It is also the hidden sin in my heart, jealousy by comparing myself to others, hidden anger from things unresolved, pride that hides my insecurities, the addiction of my people pleasing to cover over my deepest fears.

It is the things I have done with wrong motives, to get something from someone, to look good so no one is disappointed with me, for God to bless me, to change someone. This is what grieves my heart when I see them with God's eyes. I have shared from Timothy Keller’s book before, The Prodigal God. He tells of how not only the younger rebellious son is far from God, but the elder son, the ‘righteous one’ also. He may even be further because his ‘sin’ doesn’t look as ugly as the other. He states, ‘His spiritual problem is the radical insecurity that comes from basing his self-image on achievements and performance, so he must endlessly prop up his sense of righteousness by putting others down and finding fault.’

As I repented of this behaviour I believe God gave me a picture of being a reflector. You see in my ‘goodness’, I believe I have given the impression that God’s love is conditional. If you are’ as good as me,’ then He will love you. Ironically, I haven’t truly believed that He really did until recently. In the process I have been a deflector, putting myself and others off the course of His unconditional love. Praise God for His grace and patience.

2 Corinthians 4:7 says, ‘But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all surpassing power is from God and not from us.’

Thankfully it is not our weakness or our frailties that define us – it is the treasure (the power of God in us) that defines us. We who call ourselves Christians, and please be careful to use that term seriously, we contain God! Does that not just blow your mind!

Lord, Thank you for entrusting me with your treasure. Forgive me for deflecting your love from others and myself by misusing the love and forgiveness you granted me. Help me live in the humility of the truth that I am only a jar of clay and that you are the power in me. In Jesus’ name, Amen

The Other Brother

2010-05-14T06:51:00.000-07:00

I received a beautiful journal from my daughter, Tessa, for Mother’s Day. In it was a quote that stated, ‘I write to experience life twice.’ That is it I thought, the essence of my heart to write. I also believe it is the joy in being able to read what experiences God has given others to share in their books. I love when something I read brings a paradigm shift in my thinking and beliefs. I am reading such a book right now called ‘The Prodigal God’ by Timothy Keller.

It is especially beautiful when you know what you are reading is a direct answer to prayer. I have been praying for some time that God will reveal what is in my heart that keeps me from fully loving Him. I am only halfway done this book but I know that He has placed His finger on the ‘heart’ of my matter.

The premise of the book without fully giving it away is based on the story of the prodigal son. (Luke 15:1-32) The author states how our focus is usually on the rebellious younger son, and how he is far from God but is forgiven when he comes home and repents. We forget about the elder brother though, who also is far from God but it doesn’t look as ugly. (My words!) He seems to be doing the ‘right things’ being the ‘good’ son. Pride is his sin, but you can’t really ‘see’ that.

Timothy Keller says,’ The people who confess they aren’t particularly good or open-minded are moving toward God; because the prerequisite for receiving the grace of God is to know you need it.’

Wham! It was like God hit me between the eyes. Now I have been on both sides of the table here. I have definitely been the rebellious one, doing things my own way, committing out right sin, following a dark path seeking to find fulfillment. I saw my need for God in a sweet moment about 8 ½ years ago, so I made a commitment for Christ to be my Saviour. Then I followed hard after Him, trying to do all the ‘right things’, trying to earn my way into His heart, to be ‘good enough’.

“Pride in his good deeds, rather than remorse over his bad deeds, was keeping the older son out of the feast of salvation. The elder brother’s problem is his self righteousness, the way he uses his moral record to put God and others in his debt to control them and get them to do what he wants. His spiritual problem is the radical insecurity that comes from basing his self-image on achievement and performance, so he must endlessly prop up his sense of righteousness by putting others down and finding fault. Mr. Keller goes on to say, “What must we do then to be saved? To find God we must repent of the things we have done wrong, but if that is all you do, you may remain just an elder brother. To truly become Christians, we must also repent of the reasons we ever did anything right.”

I have been forgetting that I am not good and no matter how hard I try, I alone will not reconcile that fact. Only the blood of Jesus does that for me. I am missing the true gospel when I run from God or I try too hard to act like God! Timothy Keller calls it self -salvation. To be honest this revealing of the darkness in my heart is a little hard to take. I am trusting God’s timing in it as I lay it all before Him and pray for healing in these places.

I was remembering before God saved my life, my outright sin numbed out my need for Him; until I was fully desperate to have Him and saw that need for a time. As I began to walk with Him, the pride in my ‘goodness’ began the numbing process all over again. I believed in God but I didn’t believe Him! Oh Lord, forgive me! I came to a place of desperation again, tired of trying so hard to be good. This is the exact place He wants me to be.

John 1:12 ‘Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.’ The sweet part of this heart change for me, is I am really believing deep down in me , probably for the first time ever, that these promises pertain to me! As God peels away these layers, He has invited me to come as a little child.

Yesterday I observed a young child following his father in the park. The boy stayed a few steps behind, never losing sight of him. He knew he needed him for his direction, he trusted that his father knew where he was going. His father would turn occasionally to look him in the eyes and nudge him forward. When he started to trail too far behind, he stopped and reached out his hand and encouraged him to hold on.

When I recognized my ‘lostness’ I knew it was God who showed me. So now I will take His hand and trust Him to hold on as I follow.

Do you see either brother in yourself? Sometimes it is hard to recognize. Ask God to reveal your heart and trust Him with the results.

The 'C' Words

2010-05-06T21:11:00.000-07:00

‘We become what we think about.' - Earl Nightingale

Did you know that there are 4 stages to becoming competent? We have all had occasion to progress through these places as we become good at something. Unfortunately I think we can also go through these stages in creating bad habits or behaviours. I have been considering this process a lot lately as God brought three ‘C’ words to my awareness.

Complaining

Criticism

Comparison

‘We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ’. 2 Corinthians 10:5

Pretension – the laying of a claim to something. I believe that these particular ‘C’ words set the stage to lay a claim. When we practice these types of speech we come up against the knowledge of God and create an atmosphere of defeat.

I never really realized how much complaining I did in a day until I read the book ‘A Complaint Free World’ by Will Bowen. He has a website that you can go on to order bracelets to do a 21 day challenge to be complaint free. Can you imagine what our world would be like if people didn’t complain?

He proposes in order to go through this process we do the 4 stages of becoming competent, or four stages of learning as Maslow theorized.

Stage #1 – Unconscious Incompetence

At this stage of the game, you might refer to me as oblivious. I complain but I am not aware of it, nor do I realize the deficit in my character (blind spot, some may say) Why would I want to do anything about it, there is nothing wrong!

Proverbs 14:16' A wise man fears the Lord and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless.'

Stage #2 - Conscious Incompetence

Ewwww, I see the ugly part of me. I am aware. It is becoming more real but is almost too overwhelming to do anything about at this stage. As it seeps into my consciousness, I am more aware of others who do more or less complaining than I do, and it is becoming uncomfortable.

Proverbs 18:2.' A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.'

Stage # 3 – Conscious Competence

In my awareness, effort is needed to stay competent. At this stage is when I am trying to be deliberate to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. I do not want this to be a part of my nature and I know God is the only One who will make a true change in me. Here is the place where the mothers saying, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’ comes into play. Sometimes it is eerily quiet!

Proverbs 10:19, 'When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.'

Stage #4 – Unconscious Competence

Practice, Practice, Practice is the old adage. Is this where Philippians 2:14 comes to light? ‘Do everything without complaining or arguing’ Another saying is fake it till you make it! This is where I am aware and I have practiced and now it comes naturally. I become very aware of how others sound as well. I have chosen to surround myself with like people.

So what is your choice? What kind of people do you want to attract by the things you say? How are you giving God glory in your speech?

Proverbs 12:18,' Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.'

By the way, I have not officially started the 21 day challenge, but I will let you know when I get my bracelet. I am trying to stay aware. Sometimes I need to ask God to muzzle me, but whatever it takes. Will you join me on this challenge?

P.S. Get ready because this challenge includes gossip as well......

Judgment - A Distorted Perception

2010-04-29T21:15:00.000-07:00

My husband Wade and I are going through the series Love & Respect with our young married group. Emerson Eggerichs told a story about a man that got onto a crowded bus with his three children. It was an overnight trip and as people were trying to sleep these kids were running wild in the bus and the father just stared out the window, seemingly oblivious. The other passengers were getting quite irritated and starting to make snap judgments like this man is a terrible parent, if these were my kids etc. They elected one man to speak to this father about getting his unruly children under control. The man called to the other a couple times before he responded. ‘Sir, you need to settle your children down. ‘He said.

The other man responded,’ I am so sorry, sorry, we just came from the hospital, my wife just died and the children just lost their mother.’

He said in that split second, nothing changed but everything changed. All that was given was a piece of information and it changed the whole perception of what the bigger picture was of this family.

How many times I have been guilty of snap judgments. I am sure there was many times that if I had just gotten one piece of information, my perception would have changed. Dr. James Richards says in his book. How to Stop the Pain, ‘Identifying what someone did is not judgment; that is merely observation. It is when we assume to know why a person did what he did that we have entered into judgment.’

Judgment means according to one definition in dictionary.com the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion, or conclusion, as from circumstances presented to the mind

Do you think the people on the bus stopped to consider that there was something wrong with the man? I am finding more and more that when I judge the people around me, it is often a reflection of the ugliness in my own heart. They are like a mirror revealing to me something in my heart that God wants to deal with. I know that it is conviction about my behaviour and not condemnation that I am experiencing. When I learn of these things I want to turn to God and let Him change me from the inside out. There was a time when I was less convicted of my position as a child of God that I would take these revelations and beat myself up with them.

I don’t know about you but the more God reveals my heart, the less inclined I am to trust my own opinions. As my friend once commented,’ It is so amazing to me the things in myself that I am blinded to.’

That is another place of God’s grace; He does not reveal everything I need to deal with all at once. He gives me the chance to take a look as he shows me what is within my heart. I still need to choose if I am humble enough to let Him do the work. There is no limit to the opportunities God presents to make me more like Him.

Jeremiah 17:9, 10 ‘The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.’

How are you forming your opinions of others? What is in your heart that you see in others? I encourage you to examine the things you say throughout the day. What is reflected in your thoughts?

Lord thank you for the endless opportunities to change the things within me. Thank you for the insight to see you mean it for my good. Help me to look past my ‘snap judgments’ and obtain more information to change my perception. I want to humbly accept your invitations to change me from within.

Earth Day

2010-04-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

Acts 17:24-28 NIV “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being. ‘As some of your poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’
Today is celebrated as Earth Day. Earth Day is a day designed to inspire awareness and appreciation for the earth's environment. A day recognized as a specific time to take care for what God has given us. It is fitting that this is the day that I decided to turn over a new leaf. No pun intended. I came to this conclusion as I was getting ready and I considered wearing two bras. One for the real things and one for the growing thing under the real ones! I fight with these 10-20 pounds every year and each time it comes back it grows in a new spot! How is that possible? Ok well I know how it is possible that it got there. I am not a very good steward of my body that God has given me. I confess I am a little addicted to junk food and am leaning on the lazy side as far as exercise goes.
Ok now that the confession is out of the way. I will share with you what God showed me today with His creation. I went for a walk by the river (the beginning of the new leaf), my absolute favourite thing to do. I often do it with friends but the greatest friend of all, God, walked with me today. I shared how I have not been taking very good care of myself and how I really can’t do it without Him. He invited me to observe the gifts He gave me today as I went on my walk.
Rustling in the tall dry grass proved to be some prairie dogs having free reign in their playground habitat called earth. Green buds were springing forth from the trees and the grass was starting to join in the color parade. More rustling proved to be a robin, strutting under the trees, trusting the earth to provide its food. As I looked to the other side, dots of green shirts spotted the area as a company of people did their part to clean that space of the earth. Two geese waddled in front of me on the path, not paying me any mind. I walked over a bridge hearing the rush of traffic and the roar of the water streaming by.
More geese swam in the water; if you see them on the surface they appear so calm. I happened to catch a glimpse of their webbed feet; they were paddling furiously under the surface. Their calm presence seemingly a facade as the work underneath was in such contrast to their appearance. All of a sudden it hit me. That was me. I appear to be calm on the surface, but that is not always my heart. When it isn’t my heart, it comes out as some rotten fruit such as a bad attitude or judgement or frustration. Here I was seemingly swimming along when I am furiously paddling for my life. The inside of me is in turmoil and having many thoughts of how do I work this out, what can I do to make this better. How am I going to be a good Christian, lose the weight, make more money, look beautiful, parent my children, be a great wife.... the list goes on and on.
As I was walking I thought of all the creatures I saw. They don’t have to have a special day to celebrate earth. They live it, In Him they live and move and have their being. God has made them so they trust He will provide for them. He has also made us that way. He said in the verse in Acts that He made us so that we would reach out for Him and we would find Him. I found Him in all kinds of places today. He reminded me that it is in Him, that I live and move and have my being. There is nowhere else that I can rest but in Him, that as long as I continue to paddle so furiously under the surface, He will step back and let me do it. He loves me that much to honour my choices, even when they don’t honour Him.
As soon as I stop though, confess and turn back to Him. He is patiently waiting. The Creator of the universe. The One who determined my time on His earth, the One who determined the very place that I live. He gently leads me and says follow me, trust me, my child. Walk with me and be inspired, I look after my creation.
How were you inspired on this Earth day? Were you more aware of the things that you did to the environment today? Did your awareness extend to the Creator of the earth and everything in it? What did that look like?

Grief Reappearing

2010-04-14T16:46:00.000-07:00

The Thomas M. Ellis book, This Thing Called Grief, states:’ Grief is a crazy-making complicated process. Grief is not about clear, predictable stages or steps. Rather, it is a natural process of dynamic changes that will ebb and flow as they may.’

I have experienced the crazy-making complicated process recently in a new way. Attending my Grandpa’s memorial was a great time of family renewal and remembering. I came home and ‘got on with my life’ stuffing the feelings of sadness. It wasn’t long though before God used my husband to prod me about my disconnectedness. I was living the reality that yes in fact; new grief does bring up old grief. Almost unknowingly I had started erecting walls to contain my pain. The loss of Grandpa had brought to the surface my feelings of grief about my mom.

I love that God loves me so much that even when I don’t consciously invite Him into my pain, He gives me opportunity to work through it. In these couple weeks since I have returned from the memorial, these are a few of the examples that He was in the middle of to allow me to feel and heal.

I attended a movie that allowed me to cry for the last half of it, steady! My daughter and her friend and I sat, without Kleenex, and shed tears of cleansing. (It wasn’t really pretty, but when is crying pretty?)

The day that my husband questioned me about what was going on I had been reading a book by Anne Lamott.She had written something that had struck a nerve with me and I had decided not to finish the book. Well that day as I gathered the books to return to the library I picked up her book, OK, just one more chapter. That chapter happened to be the story about her mother and how it was hard but she was a little relieved when her mother died. Their relationship was difficult and crazy at times, but now she was at the place where she just missed her. I knew what I was reading was precisely where God wanted me to be for that moment.

I took my son to the library and I returned with 3 books, one called Complaint Free World, the other Unattended Sorrow and lastly This Thing Called Grief. Hmmm, I wonder if I should pay more attention to what my heart is telling me. It seriously didn’t connect with me until later - I was not picking these books up just to be more prepared to help others in their grief. They were especially for my own heart at this time.

I realized when my husband cornered me with his love that it was grief that I was feeling. I don’t know what to do with it when it comes bursting through the covers of life. I tend to have very finite thinking sometimes. When I get to a certain place, I feel that I should be ‘done’ with something, rather than allowing my life to be a journey. My grief over Mom took me by surprise and in acknowledging it; God was able to heal another piece of my heart. I now feel I just miss her. I don’t dwell on the fact that the last times were difficult as she struggled in her mental illness, the fact that she ended her own life. I just miss having my Mom around, someone that always made me feel special and loved.

Another gift I was given was a visit from my sister and her boys. We are just re-establishing our relationship since her crazy making years of drug addiction. She has been clean for over a year now. Praise God! One day I may share some of that story. We had many conversations about Mom and her last times, shared our guilt and our grief and discovered the completely different ways we coped. I was reminded of how personally unique our journeys are with grief, even when we grieve the same person.

A line that stood out for me in the movie I cried through said that ‘love is fragile and we are not always the best caretakers’. As I walked through this part of my journey of grieving, I have seen that I have not always been the best caretaker of my heart. God tells us to guard our hearts for they are the wellspring of life. Although I took some deliberate steps to walk through my fresh loss, sadness still lingers. I needed to give myself permission to feel these things, to let God work it out for His good.

Stephen Levine says in his book Unattended Sorrow,’ Unresolved grief is like a low-grade fever. It flows in peaks and valleys. Sometimes it spikes into almost overwhelmingly afflictive emotions; at other times it lies almost dormant, nearly comatose, just beneath the surface, until a shadow crosses the heart and releases it.’

I am grateful for the shadow that released it, and the new opportunity to resolve it. I will trust my God to heal it and to not be afraid of it.

Do you have any unattended sorrow? Ask God to give you the courage to walk through the valley of the shadow of death. You will then fear no evil because He is with you.

Static Love

2010-03-30T13:48:00.000-07:00

My husband, son and I just returned from Calgary on the weekend. We attended an informal memorial service for my Grandpa. It turned out to be a sweet time of reconnecting and remembering as we celebrated Grandpa’s life. God blessed our weekend in many ways.

Do you know what was especially sweet? There were 17 of us, a motley crew of people, and all there for one purpose; to share about the loss of Grandpa’s life and how he had impacted all of us. We sat in a circle and sang ‘Jesus Loves Me’, ‘In the Garden’ and How Great Thou Art’ acappella, all of us believers and non believers alike. It occurred to me as we sang, quite beautifully I might add, that God was right in the midst of us. He was there with His love and comfort whether any of us acknowledged it or not.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8 He NEVER changes. We will, our circumstances will, all things will change except our God. Isn’t that an amazing truth when change can be so disconcerting? All of the lives in our little circle in Grandpa’s old house changed in some shape or form because of his death. I am so grateful that God never changes because His heart for being close to the broken-hearted assured me that He was with us in the circle. He will continue to be with us whether we acknowledge it or not.

Thank you Lord for your presence all the time. Please continue to stir up the hearts of those who don’t acknowledge You. Meet them in their need, their hurt, their joys, their circumstances. Thank you for your faithfulness in staying the same.

Renew Your Mind

2010-03-22T19:53:00.001-07:00

Do you know that you can think whatever you want to think? Did you know there was a way to change what you are thinking? I love what Joyce Meyer said on her program today, ‘Your mind does not have to be a trash can for the devil all day!’

What an image that brings to my mind. When God says take captive every thought, he does not just mean random thoughts that are yucky, he means every one. How do we do this practically? I know for years I have tried on my own to ‘change’ the way I think or act. You know the motto, fake it till you make it. Well I am beginning to think that is more like fake it and you will never make it. I am starting to see that God made a way for me to make it already.

When I accepted Jesus into my heart God put His Holy Spirit in me. 2 Peter 1:3 says ‘His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.’ Did you see that?? By me believing in Him, His divine power has given me everything I need to live a godly life! Isn’t that an amazing promise?

Why do I have such trouble believing it to be true? I think the answer lies in the second part of the verse, through our knowledge of him. How much knowledge of Him do I really have? How much have I allowed God’s word to transform my mind? This is another promise right in His word. Romans 12:2 ‘Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. THEN you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.’

I have been tossing around going to school, possibly Bible College. My friend challenged me the other day through email with a question. Would going to college be a help in my goal to write and speak or would that be a distraction? Good question huh? Well this led into a lengthy discussion with my husband and as I dove more into my motivation; I think it would be more of a distraction at this time. I am not ruling this option out forever but for now the timing is not right.

You see I have this thing in me that believes I will not be able to do anything without an education. This is a whole other blog topic but for the purpose of this one, here is my thought. I think part of me is just waiting for that magic moment when kaboom! I have an intimate knowledge of God and a close relationship and an amazing prayer life and I am living as a victorious Christian. Oh maybe then I can really write and lead others and influence them with my thoughts! Oh maybe if I go to Bible College, that will make things different. Please don’t get me wrong, I believe that there is much to be gained and a purpose for some to attend a Bible College. I just know that if I go from wrong motivations, it will get me nowhere except for another trip around the mountain.

I am beginning to be convicted about this type of thinking, my lack of taking responsibility for my changes. It is a never ending seeking after things that will not satisfy. Nothing will change until my mind changes and my mind will not change without renewing it with God’s word. Another line that Joyce said today that really struck me was ‘Don’t expect to be a victorious Christian unless you study the Word!’

I was expecting to get the reward without the work. I confess this. There have been times that I have studied but not enough, not enough to renew my mind. I was practicing the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I thought if the face of what I was doing changed, then perhaps I would too. I thought if I went to school I would learn the discipline I so desperately want and need to do the things I am to do. Now I haven’t always consciously made these decisions. I think I have tried in different ways to change but I can’t change myself. As I studied God’s word today, it revealed my motivations and showed me what I need to do. I have been given this already through Christ; I just need to submit, to truly believe He has given me all I need. I need to do what I can and to trust Him with the outcome. To be continued until Jesus comes back.......

Father, forgive me for my complacency. I cannot blame my lack of discipline or ability to work hard for something on anybody but myself. Please instil in me a desire to study your Word Lord, not just to read it, but so it pierces my soul and changes me. In Jesus’ name Amen

Addendum to last post

2010-03-20T13:42:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to add that minutes after I posted my last blog, my aunt called me to let me know we were going to have a memorial come and go for Grandpa next weekend. Thanks Lord for answering my prayer and creating a time and place to celebrate Grandpa's life and to grieve his loss together. Please pray for our family as we come together. Thank you

Goodbye to Grandpa

2010-03-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning I received a call from my sister that my Grandpa had passed away during the night. Death is so strange. My day seemed cloaked in sadness, yet I never really fully expressed it. Except that is when I told Owen, my 9 year old son, and he sobbed on my shoulder. His authentic sorrow brought out the emotion already stuffed in me. Isn’t this the beauty in children? They have no learned filters to stop their feelings; they just come out as they are.

I loved my Grandpa and was relieved that he had passed so quickly and not had to suffer long in the state he was in. He would have been 93 next month and up until the past few years having some difficulties with health and dementia, he lived a long virile life. I am sad for the hole that his loss will leave in the lives around him.

His will expressed clearly that he did not want to have a funeral when he died. Personally I have difficulty with this. Yes I believe in honouring people and their wishes but I find it a bit of a selfish choice. Simply because I have found that going through the process of a funeral or memorial, serves an important part of grieving and letting go. I don’t pretend to know Grandpa’s reason for choosing this way. I think we need to be deliberate though to find some way to say goodbye to him and to remember his life and legacy. We are the ones left here after all.

Ecclesiastes 3:1,2a says, ‘There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die. Vs 11 goes on to say, ‘He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.’

So although we may find death strange and a difficult place to live in, there is a time for everything. I wondered as I thought of Grandpa dying and thought of these verses, how many people come to have knowledge of God through the death of another. It is during these times that we ponder our own mortality. There aren’t many other occasions that get us to consider this whole mystery of life and God as much as death does. We realize in a more tangible way how precious our life is and that we are not guaranteed our next moment even. We are reminded that we do not live forever. God has set eternity in the hearts of men; ALL men have a spiritual thirst. A desire for eternal value. We are created in His image and we therefore will always have a desire to be more like him, earthly pleasures do not satisfy.

So my prayer in this time is that my family will not only feel the comfort of God, but that they would be caused to consider God. That they would come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, through him they will find eternal life. We do have a place in heaven if we make the choice for Jesus in this life. I believe my Grandpa did this and so I know that I will see him again one day. He is dancing with Grandma and my Mom and many that passed before him, praising the God who created us. Good bye for now Grandpa. Thank you for the memories and the example of your life. I love you.

Target Love

2010-03-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

Do you recall a time in your life when God had a spotlight on one particular area of your character that needed some work? Wherever you went and whatever you did; your daily lessons, even everything you picked up to read highlighted that certain characteristic.

I both love and dislike when this happens. I love that God is that concerned about my character more than my comfort. It reminds me how much He loves me. At the same time it usually shoves me out of my comfort zone. And I kind of like that place. It is warm and fuzzy and familiar.

Self-control is the area that is being targeted at this time. I know there are so many different facets of this fruit of the spirit. The particular place of self-control God has been speaking to me about is managing my emotions. As I begin to see how much I have been ruled by what I am 'feeling' it is no wonder I have spun my wheels for so long.

1 Peter 5:8 says' Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ‘I believe that the more unstable we are the more we become like the weak little lamb that is lagging behind the flock. How long before the little one is pounced upon?

Having almost survived my first round of teenagers, I think one of the best gifts we can give them is our emotional stability. Now that is not to say that I have succeeded in this area completely but I am learning. I think the more we can be solid and not rocked by every circumstance, the more our children have a broader base to stand on. Our stability is firmly rooted when it is in our relationship with God. He alone can give us the power to walk in it. He alone has given us the ability to have self-control.

As the verse says, be self-controlled and alert. Alert means to have an attitude of vigilance or readiness. How ready can we be if our emotions are dragging us around? If we are upset or ruled by our feelings, are we trusting God? If we wait to do something until we 'feel' like it, how likely is it to get done? If we make a decision in the middle of excitement, what happens when the excitement fades?

I am so guilty of this sometimes that as I am becoming more aware, it is taking some real diligence to separate the emotion. I know that God gave us emotions for many very good reasons but when they lead, it only leads to trouble. Self-control is to have control of one's emotions. Control means to exercise restraint or direction over. So this is an action we need to do. You know, we do what we can do so God can do what God can do. First believe that we can control ourselves and then as the feelings come up, stop, feel them and then tell them they are not going to rule over you. Make this a practice until the exercise becomes second nature.

In 2 Peter it tells us that God’s divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him and through our knowledge we read of his promises and it gives us escape from the corruption of the world. Peter goes on to say in vs. 5-9' For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness, and to goodness, knowledge and to knowledge, self-control and to self-control, perseverance and to perseverance, godliness and to godliness; brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from past sins.'

Keep reading this chapter to hear more amazing things. God’s word is the authority. Is He speaking to your heart to know it better? We were challenged today at church by the question are you happy to meet the Lord with what you have in your hand today? What kind of an advertisement am I for Christ? And I have to confess that as long as I keep living my life with my brain and my body, not being led by the Holy Spirit and not being self-controlled; I am afraid I am just a flicker of an ad for Christ. I need my light to burn brightly. I may be the only Jesus that someone I know meets.

I know that God has a spotlight on this area for my good and His glory. What areas of your life have you felt a nudge towards changing? Make the choice today to let Him help you do it.

To write or not to write

2010-03-09T08:48:00.000-08:00

I am having some difficulty with the concept of having a blog. What is it all about really? Why, when I have no trouble journaling with pen and paper, does my mind go blank when I sit in front of my blog? I need to examine the reasons that I arrived at this place to begin with.

I have always loved to write. I now call myself a writer because I know it is just a part of me. It may never be my livelihood or career but it is in me to write. I love to see how words properly placed can have such an influential effect on others. I love when something is described so fully that you can almost see or taste it. Something becomes alive just by how the words are put together. Reading books has been a passion of mine since I can remember. As I mentioned in my last blog, I used to read the dictionary! Words are a beautiful gift from God.

I began this blog through a natural state of progression it seems. I love to write, people have told me I have a gift for writing. I have been journaling for years and taking various writing courses. I am involved now in B.L.A.S.T. which is Building Leaders, Authors, Speakers and Teachers. It is a one year mentorship class, taught by author and speaker Shannon Ethridge. We are halfway through our year and it has been an amazing opportunity to hone my writing and speaking skills, to encourage others in my small group to reach out and grab what God has for us. It also is an opportunity for me to step out there and trust that God has me in this place for a reason.

I am reminded as I look at the name of my blog site, 2EncourageFreedom&Forgiveness, that that is what it is all about. In my pride I forget sometimes that it is not all about me. I was given this platform by God to encourage others in the experiences or words that He gives me. I know that is the mission that He put in my heart and if one sentence or blog entry can do that for one person then Hallelujah! I may never know if it does but I need to be faithful in the little things God calls me to do. He will do the rest. I read Job 38 today and was reminded that we just don't need to know some things, we just need to trust God who is bigger than all those things.

A man speaking at our church this past weekend said something that impacted me. He was talking about the difference between accepting that Jesus was his Savior and then all the things in between that moved him to committing to his Savior. There is a huge chasm between accepting things and committing to them sometimes. Although I related that to my spiritual journey with Jesus, it also struck me that it applied to my writing. I have accepted that I am a writer, that it is a part of me. Am I ready to make the move to the commitment of writing?

Anne Lamott said it best in her book 'Bird by Bird'. " You are desperate to communicate, to edify or entertain, to preserve moments of grace or joy or transcendence, to make real or imagined events come alive. But you cannot will this to happen. It is a matter of persistence and faith and hard work. So you might as well just go ahead and get started."

So as you can see, my mind did not stay blank. It is amazing what comes out when you just go ahead and get started!

Expectation of Satisfaction

2010-03-05T16:35:00.000-08:00

I went on a word journey today. Have you ever done that? Or is it just me that used to read the dictionary when I was younger? Anyway, all that aside, I met with two of the most beautiful women I know for lunch today. Our times together are an incredible snapshot of God's unconditional love to my heart. They know all about me and amazingly still love me!
We were figuring things out; you know sharpening one another by our experiences since the last time we met, then the "f" word came up. FEELINGS! Now may it be known that the last couple weeks, my feelings have been managing me, rather than me managing them.
I was sharing about how I was having a conversation with God this morning. I wanted Him to be specific with me about why I have trouble finishing things. It seems that I get to a certain place and then BOOM, I hit a brick wall and come to a standstill. Like completing my blog site for example) I then proceed to kick myself for not finishing, feel worse, compare myself to another, feel even worse. You see where this is going, nowhere fast!
As my friends related to what I was saying, one of them suggested it was boredom. She said she seems to start something, get bored with it and not want to complete it. We asked the question what is boredom? (all the while I am just itchin' for a dictionary) My other friend said perhaps it is just a feeling! Earlier we were discussing how feelings, although God given, can become so distorted if we allow them to rule our thinking. So if boredom is just a feeling.....
Hence began the word journey. Boredom according to dictionary.com says the state of being bored. One of the definitions of state is a particular emotional condition! A FEELING! I cried tears of joy; you mean I can manage this? And God quickly interjected with, no YOU can't but WITH me you can! The question then came, why am I so bored? Answered quickly with there is some gnawing sense of dissatisfaction in me. Dissatisfy - to fail to satisfy, disappoint. Disappoint - to fail to fulfill the expectations or wishes of!
Sometimes it is my own expectations that I am trying to fulfill out of some longing I feel is missing. The feeling deceiving me is that I am not measuring up. As I dig deeper into this gnawing, God's gentle voice speaks into my spirit. You will not find this anywhere but in me. He reminded me of Psalm 62:5 WEB 'My soul, wait in silence for God alone, for my expectation is from Him'
And so I agree with Mick Jagger's lyrics here , I can't get no satisfaction. I try and I try and I try and as long as I keep trying to do it all myself, I can bet that I will not find it. The next time I am bored I will dig deeper, I will turn my face again toward God and wait in silence for Him alone.