Soul Solitude

The current flows quickly down the river. It is full of life and purpose and direction, the wind helping it along. In front of me a huge boulder peeks its corner above the surface. It beckons me to wade out and sit on it, dangling my feet in the rushing water. I am fascinated by the pattern of the river around it. The water rushes up about ¾ of the red rock and pools down in seeming whirlpools of spinning bubbles. It left the top ¼ of the rock exposed to the hot sun. The current is diverted only temporarily though as it bubbles on the other side like volcanic lava. Finally the swirling loops escape as though a valve were opened to continue its flow down the river. Occasionally a stick or leaf is drawn into the boulders’ curious bubbles. The pull of the current doesn’t contain them for long though.

All of a sudden it strikes me that I am like this rock. The river symbolizes God which is life. I am like this boulder buried deep in the bed of the river, a child of God. The currents are the circumstances of life rushing in at me, sometimes trying to cover over me. The wind is like the enemy hurrying things along, trying to overwhelm me. And sometimes, like now when I haven’t sunk deep into the riverbed, I spin into the whirlpools. I twist and turn trying to free myself. My flesh says fight, my spirit says rest.

The dry rocky place is reminiscent of my heart; Scorched by the heat from no protection. It is hard and weathered, parched for a breath of life.

I realize suddenly that I have been a temporary reservoir. I have been a place to hold things and spin them around trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I am becoming educated way beyond my level of obedience. This is a dangerous place reflecting in self-discovery.

God means for me to be a channel for His life to flow to others. Not a collection place that bears little or no fruit. I believe to be free of this self-discovery I need to proclaim what is right with me. And it has NOTHING to do with me!

John 15:3&4 states,’ You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.’

I look up at the trees above me and their long trunks are curved and bent over. It is as though their leaves are parched for a drink from the river. It reminds me of Jesus as the vine, how I need only to hang on it. As my soul longs for God and all He has for me, I bend my knee surrendering to rest. My parched soul is filled again with a drink of life. I desire to obey Him, just to get Him. Nothing for me. All that is right with me is Him.

Thank you Lord for your patience with me as I spin around in my own whirlpools. Help me to remain in you when the wind and the currents come rushing in. Thank you that you desire for me to sink deep into your riverbed and be overcome with your love.