Argumentative- given to argument which is an oral disagreement or quarrel (angry dispute or al
tercation)
My husband and I heard a sermon a couple weeks ago that said we need to value our relationships more than our need to be right. One way to keep this possible is through humility.
When you are using your tongue to be argumentative, how humble are you at that moment? I am not saying you will never disagree or have discussions but at what point do we as Benjamin Franklin said, "On this point, I agree. But on the other, if you don't mind, may I take exception?"
There are two verses in the Bible that have helped me with this area of being argumentative, especially as a wife. The second half of Proverbs 19:13, ' and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.'
I am sure you've experienced a leaking tap or a drain. After a while the constant dripping is very irritating. I do not want to be this to my husband.
The other verses are Ephesians 4:26,27,' In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.'
Now it doesn't say we will never get angry, just not to sin in it. I have had a couple of those nights where I was angry at Wade and I stewed in it. I laid on MY side as far away as possible, awake most of the night, while he snored contendedly on HIS side oblivious to my distress. All it did was make me miserable and created opportunity for the devil to cause division.
So we try to heed to God's word in not letting the sun go down on our anger and work things out. I have had to learn to calm my argumentative tongue and sometimes just agree to disagree. I value my relationship with him more than proving I am right. It has not been an easy process believe me, but it brings much fruit.
Remember it takes two to tangle and some people are prone to try and draw you into a quarrel. The authors response to these types of people is to say with as much finality as she can, "Okay, that's your opinion."
Respecting someone's opinion will go far in taming our tongues. As Emmerson Eggerichs says in Love & Respect, "Choose to trust your spouse's good intentions."
I know this can apply to all kinds of relationships. As you reflect on how you use your tongue this way, can you stop, think and pray before you engage in your next quarrel?
Speaking the Truth
'What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.' Ephesians 4:1,2
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