Loquacious - exceedingly talkative
1 Thessalonians 4:11,12 'Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.'
We used to call this form of using the tongue, verbal diarrhea or someone who is long-winded or a motor mouth. Have you ever met someone that can make a 5 minute story into a half an hour saga?
I have a hard time with small talk and so when someone carries on about surface things, I find it difficult to listen well. It is especially frustrating if the conversation is negative or full of gossip.
Deborah Pegues comments, ' When I am in the presence of an incessant talker, I often wonder if that person is lonely, has few opportunities to talk to others, or just plain loves the sound of her voice. Whatever the motivation excessive talking tends not to glorify God. I heard someone say that any conversation that lasts more than ten minutes will usually end up on the wrong path.'
She also suggested a couple of ways to veer away from our own loquaciousness. Ask the person you are talking with an open-ended question, one that requires more than a yes or no response. Also make your talking count. Tell a story of God's grace or mercy, share an interesting fact or story you've read.
Whatever you say, be careful to think first and determine whether or not it will be pleasing to God.
I could go on and on about loquaciousness ;) or I will just let God's Word instruct us to do the opposite things like being silent, quiet or subdued.
Speaking the Truth
Ecclesiastes 3:1,7 'There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak.'
Proverbs 17:28 'Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent and discerning if he holds his tongue.'
Ecclesiastes 9:17 ' The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools.'
1 Peter 3:3,4 'Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.'
Excerpted from: 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy available from: www.confrontingissues.com
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Day 27 - The Doubting Tongue
Doubt - to be uncertain and undecided about, to distrust, a feeling of uncertainty and indecision, not believing, lack of faith; conviction
James 1:5-7 'If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him. But when he asks he must not doubt because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man unstable in all he does.'
These verses paint a strong picture for me as to how God sees us when we doubt. I was reminded of the time when Wade and I were on our honeymoon. We were on a cruise ship and we were sitting on the deck watching the ocean. Wade went to get us some drinks and while he was gone I spotted a dolphin amidst the waves. It was an amazing sight when all we could see was water. I will never forget how the rolling waves were somewhat disconcerting for me. The ocean is amazing and very powerful and I thought the only thing seperating us from it was the ship. We were a tiny dot in the vastness of God's creation. We were at His mercy. Our doubting needs His mercy. This picture of the rolling waves I saw were reminiscient of my heart when I live in unbelief and doubt of God's promises.
God takes our doubt very seriously as it is a sign of our unbelief. I know if I am not believing I feel like someone bobbing in the waves with no clear direction. I float along and get swept away into anything life brings. I need to be deliberate about where my focus is.
God includes the unbelieving in the list of those who will be separated from Him. Revelation 21:6-8 'He said to me,"It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars- their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulpher. This is the second death."'
Deborah Pegues says we must become proficient at knowing and declaring the promises of God.'What are some things you find yourself speaking about in a doubtful way? Is it the fear of pursuing a career or tasks for which you feel inadequate? The hopelessness of forging an amicable relationship with a difficult person? That seemingly impossible task of getting into shape? Perhaps you have resorted to being a doubting Thomas who would only believe what he could touch?'
I liked what Joyce Meyer said, " We don't see a book of Thomas in the Bible!"
I had a revelation tonight that even silently agreeing with the lies that something is too hard or it won't change fuels our unbelief in not being able to trust God.
How do others around you influence your beliefs? Limit your time with those who speak negatively or create doubt into your goals or desires. Do the opposite and be confident of who God is and what He can do.
I cry out to God as the man in Mark 9 does as he prays for a miracle for his son to be delivered, 'I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!'
Speaking the Truth
Philippians 1:6 'Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Psalm 27:13,14 'I am still confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
James 1:5-7 'If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him. But when he asks he must not doubt because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man unstable in all he does.'
These verses paint a strong picture for me as to how God sees us when we doubt. I was reminded of the time when Wade and I were on our honeymoon. We were on a cruise ship and we were sitting on the deck watching the ocean. Wade went to get us some drinks and while he was gone I spotted a dolphin amidst the waves. It was an amazing sight when all we could see was water. I will never forget how the rolling waves were somewhat disconcerting for me. The ocean is amazing and very powerful and I thought the only thing seperating us from it was the ship. We were a tiny dot in the vastness of God's creation. We were at His mercy. Our doubting needs His mercy. This picture of the rolling waves I saw were reminiscient of my heart when I live in unbelief and doubt of God's promises.
God takes our doubt very seriously as it is a sign of our unbelief. I know if I am not believing I feel like someone bobbing in the waves with no clear direction. I float along and get swept away into anything life brings. I need to be deliberate about where my focus is.
God includes the unbelieving in the list of those who will be separated from Him. Revelation 21:6-8 'He said to me,"It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars- their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulpher. This is the second death."'
Deborah Pegues says we must become proficient at knowing and declaring the promises of God.'What are some things you find yourself speaking about in a doubtful way? Is it the fear of pursuing a career or tasks for which you feel inadequate? The hopelessness of forging an amicable relationship with a difficult person? That seemingly impossible task of getting into shape? Perhaps you have resorted to being a doubting Thomas who would only believe what he could touch?'
I liked what Joyce Meyer said, " We don't see a book of Thomas in the Bible!"
I had a revelation tonight that even silently agreeing with the lies that something is too hard or it won't change fuels our unbelief in not being able to trust God.
How do others around you influence your beliefs? Limit your time with those who speak negatively or create doubt into your goals or desires. Do the opposite and be confident of who God is and what He can do.
I cry out to God as the man in Mark 9 does as he prays for a miracle for his son to be delivered, 'I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!'
Speaking the Truth
Philippians 1:6 'Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Psalm 27:13,14 'I am still confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Day 26 - The Discouraging Tongue
Discourage - to deprive of courage or confidence, dishearten, dissuade
Do you feel it is a gift when someone can see past the surface of something and find its potential?
When we were searching for a house, I was too overwhelmed by the move to want to purchase a fixer-upper. I became blind to the possibilities because of the way I was feeling and never looked past that.
I envy the gift some people have to see the beautiful potential of a home that needs a little tlc.
I sometimes longed for that gift to see beautiful things in people that weren't evident. The more I get to know God and who I am because of Him and in Him, the more He is opening my eyes to the potential in others.
God knows the potential in us, he created it. He knows the beauty underneath all of our stuff and walls and sin. He takes great delight in unearthing it and creating something beautiful. He is the potter and we are the clay.
The more I trust Him, the more I see the beauty in others and I can use my tongue to encourage which means to inspire courage and confidence.
My lack of confidence sometimes only allowed me to be selfish and not believe in others. It is hard to believe in others, if you do not believe in yourself. Discouraging words kill potential.
As Deborah Pegues asks, 'What about you? When you see others faced with negative circumstances, do you lose hope in their ability to succeed? Further, can you listen to someone's dreams and plans without making disheartening remarks? ...Even if you cannot envision the dreams of another, at least agree to stand in faith with him for God's perfect will to be done regarding the proposed endeavor... If perchance, you are confronted by a discourager, do not let him derail your destiny. Very graciously let him know your eyes are fixed on God, who specializes in doing the impossible.'
I agree with the author in that there is enough negativity in the world, we do not have to add to it by depriving courage to someone with our discouraging words. My heart is to speak life with my tongue, to build others up and encourage them. This was one of the reasons I developed my blog name and space. 2EncourageFFIC. To encourage freedom & forgiveness in Christ. This is the potential of hope.
Seek to affirm and inspire those around you. The beauty of being encouraging is that is blesses and builds you in the process as well as speak life into someone else.
Speaking the Truth
Romans 12:6-8 'We have different gifts according to the grace given us: If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.'
Hebrews 3:12,13, 'See to it brothers, that noe of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Do you feel it is a gift when someone can see past the surface of something and find its potential?
When we were searching for a house, I was too overwhelmed by the move to want to purchase a fixer-upper. I became blind to the possibilities because of the way I was feeling and never looked past that.
I envy the gift some people have to see the beautiful potential of a home that needs a little tlc.
I sometimes longed for that gift to see beautiful things in people that weren't evident. The more I get to know God and who I am because of Him and in Him, the more He is opening my eyes to the potential in others.
God knows the potential in us, he created it. He knows the beauty underneath all of our stuff and walls and sin. He takes great delight in unearthing it and creating something beautiful. He is the potter and we are the clay.
The more I trust Him, the more I see the beauty in others and I can use my tongue to encourage which means to inspire courage and confidence.
My lack of confidence sometimes only allowed me to be selfish and not believe in others. It is hard to believe in others, if you do not believe in yourself. Discouraging words kill potential.
As Deborah Pegues asks, 'What about you? When you see others faced with negative circumstances, do you lose hope in their ability to succeed? Further, can you listen to someone's dreams and plans without making disheartening remarks? ...Even if you cannot envision the dreams of another, at least agree to stand in faith with him for God's perfect will to be done regarding the proposed endeavor... If perchance, you are confronted by a discourager, do not let him derail your destiny. Very graciously let him know your eyes are fixed on God, who specializes in doing the impossible.'
I agree with the author in that there is enough negativity in the world, we do not have to add to it by depriving courage to someone with our discouraging words. My heart is to speak life with my tongue, to build others up and encourage them. This was one of the reasons I developed my blog name and space. 2EncourageFFIC. To encourage freedom & forgiveness in Christ. This is the potential of hope.
Seek to affirm and inspire those around you. The beauty of being encouraging is that is blesses and builds you in the process as well as speak life into someone else.
Speaking the Truth
Romans 12:6-8 'We have different gifts according to the grace given us: If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.'
Hebrews 3:12,13, 'See to it brothers, that noe of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Day 25 - The Accusing Tongue
Accuse - to charge with a fault, offense or crime, to blame
Revelation 12:10b 'For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night has been hurled down.'
This is satan who is known as the accuser of the brethren but what I didn't understand until recently was that he uses us to do this dirty work often.
As I looked up accuse, the definition - to blame, put a whole new spin of this use of the tongue. One of the meanings of blame is to place the responsibility on. I have seen countless times that accusation or blaming is used when someone does not take ownership of an issue.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when leadership gets blamed when someone's needs are not being fulfilled.
Unfortunately a prime example of this is in the church. It is sad how many Christians are doing religion and not relationship with God. Because of all these 'rules', they have unrealistic expectations of the leaders to be responsible for their spiritual well-being.
All of us have a responsibility and a calling to have relationship with God. No amount of accusation or blame will change this fact. We all have the ability and the way through Jesus Christ.
When we are emotionally immature we may become adept at shifting responsibility through blame or accusation. I know from personal experience this is just a temporary solution. God wants us to become more like Him and He loves us too much to leave us this way. He is faithful to place His finger all over that behavior in us until we learn our lesson and take responsibility for our own actions.
Deborah Pegues gives solutions to overcome this use of our tongue, ' Emotional and spiritual maturity dictate that you must seek first to understand rather than making an accusation. Asking a clarifying question and listening to the response are key steps in overcoming an accusing tongue. I repeat, ask and listen.'
So instead of trying to do God's job, let's exonerate others before bringing accusation, let them off the hook, release them from our blame. In this we too shall be free.
Speaking the Truth
Proverbs 11:12 'A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor but a man of understanding holds his tongue.'
Proverbs 17:27 'A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Revelation 12:10b 'For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night has been hurled down.'
This is satan who is known as the accuser of the brethren but what I didn't understand until recently was that he uses us to do this dirty work often.
As I looked up accuse, the definition - to blame, put a whole new spin of this use of the tongue. One of the meanings of blame is to place the responsibility on. I have seen countless times that accusation or blaming is used when someone does not take ownership of an issue.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when leadership gets blamed when someone's needs are not being fulfilled.
Unfortunately a prime example of this is in the church. It is sad how many Christians are doing religion and not relationship with God. Because of all these 'rules', they have unrealistic expectations of the leaders to be responsible for their spiritual well-being.
All of us have a responsibility and a calling to have relationship with God. No amount of accusation or blame will change this fact. We all have the ability and the way through Jesus Christ.
When we are emotionally immature we may become adept at shifting responsibility through blame or accusation. I know from personal experience this is just a temporary solution. God wants us to become more like Him and He loves us too much to leave us this way. He is faithful to place His finger all over that behavior in us until we learn our lesson and take responsibility for our own actions.
Deborah Pegues gives solutions to overcome this use of our tongue, ' Emotional and spiritual maturity dictate that you must seek first to understand rather than making an accusation. Asking a clarifying question and listening to the response are key steps in overcoming an accusing tongue. I repeat, ask and listen.'
So instead of trying to do God's job, let's exonerate others before bringing accusation, let them off the hook, release them from our blame. In this we too shall be free.
Speaking the Truth
Proverbs 11:12 'A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor but a man of understanding holds his tongue.'
Proverbs 17:27 'A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Day 24 - The Retaliating Tongue
Retaliate - return like for like esp. evil for evil, get even with someone.
1 Peter 3:9 nlt ' Don't repay evil for evil. Don't relatiate when people say unkind things about you. Instead pay them back with blessing. That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it.'
Well this verse from God's word is a great summation of how He sees retaliation. This is the instance where bite your tongue would be advice well taken.
When we experience hurt or a jab from someone it is often quick on our tongue to respond in kind. As a child of God, knowing He wants me to behave in this area, I am very grateful for His mercy.
I am not always quick to obey in this area and too often let my flesh take over. A couple weeks ago I was thankful to hear the Holy Spirit prompt me to 'bite my tongue' with a customer at work.
The words were in my mouth when I sensed God say in my spirit, Stop! you are at work, you don't know her story, just bless her.
I had to quickly reel in my first reaction and chose to obey. The reward was evident as I was able to bless the woman and she left thanking me, despite the fact her issue was not resolved. Only God can do things like that!
Deborah Pegues reflects on choosing to be obedient by saying, ' In recalling these times when I have been victorious, I realize that my responses required humility, a desire to understand the other person's behavior and a commitment to obey and glorify God.'
I believe we can conquer this temptation by being quick to forgive others. If we REALLY get who God is and how much He has REALLY forgiven us ALL the time, who are we to try and hold things against another?
Speaking the Truth
Colossians 3:12,13 ; Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you!'
Excerpted from: 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy available from: www.confrontingissues.com
1 Peter 3:9 nlt ' Don't repay evil for evil. Don't relatiate when people say unkind things about you. Instead pay them back with blessing. That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it.'
Well this verse from God's word is a great summation of how He sees retaliation. This is the instance where bite your tongue would be advice well taken.
When we experience hurt or a jab from someone it is often quick on our tongue to respond in kind. As a child of God, knowing He wants me to behave in this area, I am very grateful for His mercy.
I am not always quick to obey in this area and too often let my flesh take over. A couple weeks ago I was thankful to hear the Holy Spirit prompt me to 'bite my tongue' with a customer at work.
The words were in my mouth when I sensed God say in my spirit, Stop! you are at work, you don't know her story, just bless her.
I had to quickly reel in my first reaction and chose to obey. The reward was evident as I was able to bless the woman and she left thanking me, despite the fact her issue was not resolved. Only God can do things like that!
Deborah Pegues reflects on choosing to be obedient by saying, ' In recalling these times when I have been victorious, I realize that my responses required humility, a desire to understand the other person's behavior and a commitment to obey and glorify God.'
I believe we can conquer this temptation by being quick to forgive others. If we REALLY get who God is and how much He has REALLY forgiven us ALL the time, who are we to try and hold things against another?
Speaking the Truth
Colossians 3:12,13 ; Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you!'
Excerpted from: 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy available from: www.confrontingissues.com
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Day 23 - The Complaining Tongue
Complain - to express dissatisfaction, pain etc. grumble about, to make a formal accusation.
I believe complaining has become an 'acceptable' sin. One that is accepted by man but displeasing to God, but we do it anyway. It is so commonplace in all circles that we have trouble discerning complaining from ordinary conversation. None of us are exempt from this kind of temptation. It is almost odd when someone does not complain. God wants us to behave differently though.
Philippians 4:14,15 'Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.'
Deborah Pegues writes ,' Someone once said,"To swear is wicked because it is taking God's name in vain. To murmur is like-wise wicked for it takes God's promises in vain." During your tongue fast, become aware of how often you complain about nonessential matters such as a rainy day, traffic jams, boring television programs, lazy coworkers and so on. Because complaining is contagious, this is a hard mouth malady to cure.'
Look at some of the words used to describe complaining; bellyaching, bemoaning, snivelling, whimpering, whining, yammering. Even these words seem unappealing and annoying. How much are we really trusting God when we talk like this?
There may be legitimate complaints but these can only be resolved if they are directed to the one who can change your situation. Instead of getting all those around you to join in the complaining party, use your energy and time to try and improve things. Praise or approve of something, or take part in the resolution of the issue.
If there is something only God can change, take it up with Him, He can handle it.
Psalm 142:1,2 'I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before Him, before him I tell my trouble.'
The author encourages us whenever we feel a complaint coming on, replace it with a statement of gratitude or a declaration of a Scripture you have personalized. Try this.
Speaking the Truth
Philippians 4:12,13 ' I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him (Christ) who strengthens me.'
John 14:1 'Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
I believe complaining has become an 'acceptable' sin. One that is accepted by man but displeasing to God, but we do it anyway. It is so commonplace in all circles that we have trouble discerning complaining from ordinary conversation. None of us are exempt from this kind of temptation. It is almost odd when someone does not complain. God wants us to behave differently though.
Philippians 4:14,15 'Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.'
Deborah Pegues writes ,' Someone once said,"To swear is wicked because it is taking God's name in vain. To murmur is like-wise wicked for it takes God's promises in vain." During your tongue fast, become aware of how often you complain about nonessential matters such as a rainy day, traffic jams, boring television programs, lazy coworkers and so on. Because complaining is contagious, this is a hard mouth malady to cure.'
Look at some of the words used to describe complaining; bellyaching, bemoaning, snivelling, whimpering, whining, yammering. Even these words seem unappealing and annoying. How much are we really trusting God when we talk like this?
There may be legitimate complaints but these can only be resolved if they are directed to the one who can change your situation. Instead of getting all those around you to join in the complaining party, use your energy and time to try and improve things. Praise or approve of something, or take part in the resolution of the issue.
If there is something only God can change, take it up with Him, He can handle it.
Psalm 142:1,2 'I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before Him, before him I tell my trouble.'
The author encourages us whenever we feel a complaint coming on, replace it with a statement of gratitude or a declaration of a Scripture you have personalized. Try this.
Speaking the Truth
Philippians 4:12,13 ' I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him (Christ) who strengthens me.'
John 14:1 'Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Day 22 - The Cursing Tongue
Curse - the expression of a wish that misfortune, evil etc befall someone, a profane or obscene word, hateful, swearing remark.
James 3:10 'Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.'
I used to have what some people would refer to as a trucker mouth. Although I did have some discretion as to my audience, four letter words were a normal part of my vocabulary.
Before I chose Jesus as my Savior, His name was just another swear word for me. 9 Years ago when I became a Christian, I believe that God cleansed and delivered me from using my words this way.
I confessed taking His name in vain and it no longer felt right to swear or speak in a vulgar manner. I think, some people, as I did, never knew any different and grew up hearing curse words as a 'normal' part of vocabulary. For some it was a bad habitual release of their frustrations.
I admit in the last year or so under stressful or overwhelming situatuons I have thought some of these words. I need to as God as Deborah Pegues did to purge her from profanity and replace them with His expressions.
I love the way she ended this chapter. 'Understanding that profanity resides in the heart helps us to reject the idea that a curse "slipped" out of our mouth. The reality is that it slipped out of the heart. Only God can cleanse a person's heart. If you are challenged with profanity, ask God to purify your heart and your mind. Remember that words are verbal thoughts. We must practice the mental discipline of casting down profane thoughts and using words that bring life to our innermost being and to others.'
Speaking the Truth
Psalm 71:8 'My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long.'
Psalm 139:14 ' I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
James 3:10 'Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.'
I used to have what some people would refer to as a trucker mouth. Although I did have some discretion as to my audience, four letter words were a normal part of my vocabulary.
Before I chose Jesus as my Savior, His name was just another swear word for me. 9 Years ago when I became a Christian, I believe that God cleansed and delivered me from using my words this way.
I confessed taking His name in vain and it no longer felt right to swear or speak in a vulgar manner. I think, some people, as I did, never knew any different and grew up hearing curse words as a 'normal' part of vocabulary. For some it was a bad habitual release of their frustrations.
I admit in the last year or so under stressful or overwhelming situatuons I have thought some of these words. I need to as God as Deborah Pegues did to purge her from profanity and replace them with His expressions.
I love the way she ended this chapter. 'Understanding that profanity resides in the heart helps us to reject the idea that a curse "slipped" out of our mouth. The reality is that it slipped out of the heart. Only God can cleanse a person's heart. If you are challenged with profanity, ask God to purify your heart and your mind. Remember that words are verbal thoughts. We must practice the mental discipline of casting down profane thoughts and using words that bring life to our innermost being and to others.'
Speaking the Truth
Psalm 71:8 'My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long.'
Psalm 139:14 ' I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Day 21 - The Self-Absorbed Tongue
Self-absorbed - preoccupied with one's own thoughts or interests.
Absorbed - occupy complete attention, consume
I couldn't stop thinking about myself long enough to get this written! ha Seriously though, I have been guilty of this over the years. I had to find the balance when I was a people pleaser for so many years. God had to heal in me the emptiness from my own unworthiness, to be full an overflowing with love to others. This healing went from only being concerned for myself (or others for selfish reasons, to look good etc) to genuinely being able to love and care about others because I know that God loves me. ( and it is not because of what I do or don't do! He just does)
The journey has been neither quick or easy but very worth it to know who I am and to be free to love others.
I find it interesting that absorb can also mean to take in without echo, recoil or reflection. This is a very fitting description about one who is self-absorbed. There is nothing echoed or reflected back to the person trying to have a conversation with them. They are consumed by their own thoughts and are not even listening well because they are planning their next story off of what they are hearing.
Have you experienced someone like this? Have you been that someone? I have also known a few people who can take ANY little tidbit of information I give and turn it into a memory or story about themself.
Although I give them credit for their amazing memory or gift of storytelling, this can become frustrating if it is a common occurence.
Proverbs 18:13 ' He who answers before listening - that is his folly and his shame.'
Deborah Pegues suggest we become others-absorbed instead of self. Distract yourself with a challenge to go a whole day without making issues about you. Give everyone you converse with your full attention and watch your relationships deepen.
Speaking the Truth
Romans 12:9-11 'Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com
Absorbed - occupy complete attention, consume
I couldn't stop thinking about myself long enough to get this written! ha Seriously though, I have been guilty of this over the years. I had to find the balance when I was a people pleaser for so many years. God had to heal in me the emptiness from my own unworthiness, to be full an overflowing with love to others. This healing went from only being concerned for myself (or others for selfish reasons, to look good etc) to genuinely being able to love and care about others because I know that God loves me. ( and it is not because of what I do or don't do! He just does)
The journey has been neither quick or easy but very worth it to know who I am and to be free to love others.
I find it interesting that absorb can also mean to take in without echo, recoil or reflection. This is a very fitting description about one who is self-absorbed. There is nothing echoed or reflected back to the person trying to have a conversation with them. They are consumed by their own thoughts and are not even listening well because they are planning their next story off of what they are hearing.
Have you experienced someone like this? Have you been that someone? I have also known a few people who can take ANY little tidbit of information I give and turn it into a memory or story about themself.
Although I give them credit for their amazing memory or gift of storytelling, this can become frustrating if it is a common occurence.
Proverbs 18:13 ' He who answers before listening - that is his folly and his shame.'
Deborah Pegues suggest we become others-absorbed instead of self. Distract yourself with a challenge to go a whole day without making issues about you. Give everyone you converse with your full attention and watch your relationships deepen.
Speaking the Truth
Romans 12:9-11 'Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Day 20 - The Judgmental Tongue
Judgmental - tending to make moral judgments (an opinion formed)
Matthew 7:1,2 'Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.'
These couple of verses are what God has used most to bring conviction to my judgmental attitude. I confess I have had much trouble with this use of my tongue and know this is a place of weakness I need to confess to God. In the past a lot of this came out of my own insecurity. When God started dealing with this in me, it was hard for me to see the line between discerning something and judging it.
I remember reading in a book by James Richards that you can make observations but as soon as you determine you know someone's motive behind the action, it is judgment.
I like how Deborah Pegues described the choice we make to judge. 'Judgmental people engage in a critical, fault-finding assessment of another person's behavior. What is amazing is that they judge others by their actions but judge themselves by their intentions. Of course, most of us tend to judge others from an autobiographical viewpoint. If someone's behavior does not reflect a choice or decision we would have made, we judge it as wrong. Jesus based His judgment of people's behavior on nothing other than God's standard. This is the only basis from which we can righteously judge. '
We can pray for those walking contrary to God's Word. Be careful if you observe this happening that you turn and pray for them and don't cross the line into deciding why they are doing what they do. Ask God to reveal to you areas that you may have passed judgment and turn away from it.
'Lord, please help us to be secure in You. Help us to not judge and be quick to confess or repent of any judgments we make or have made. You are the final word, not us!'
Speaking the Truth
Matthew 7:3-5 'Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother,'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in you own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Matthew 7:1,2 'Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.'
These couple of verses are what God has used most to bring conviction to my judgmental attitude. I confess I have had much trouble with this use of my tongue and know this is a place of weakness I need to confess to God. In the past a lot of this came out of my own insecurity. When God started dealing with this in me, it was hard for me to see the line between discerning something and judging it.
I remember reading in a book by James Richards that you can make observations but as soon as you determine you know someone's motive behind the action, it is judgment.
I like how Deborah Pegues described the choice we make to judge. 'Judgmental people engage in a critical, fault-finding assessment of another person's behavior. What is amazing is that they judge others by their actions but judge themselves by their intentions. Of course, most of us tend to judge others from an autobiographical viewpoint. If someone's behavior does not reflect a choice or decision we would have made, we judge it as wrong. Jesus based His judgment of people's behavior on nothing other than God's standard. This is the only basis from which we can righteously judge. '
We can pray for those walking contrary to God's Word. Be careful if you observe this happening that you turn and pray for them and don't cross the line into deciding why they are doing what they do. Ask God to reveal to you areas that you may have passed judgment and turn away from it.
'Lord, please help us to be secure in You. Help us to not judge and be quick to confess or repent of any judgments we make or have made. You are the final word, not us!'
Speaking the Truth
Matthew 7:3-5 'Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother,'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in you own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Day 19 - The Rude Tongue
Rude - discourteous, impolite, lacking culture or refinement, crude in behavior, uncouth, ungentle or harsh.
I think we would all agree that this is one of the most recognizable wrong uses of our tongue. We have all experienced the rude driver, impolite store clerk, harsh customer, inconsiderate family member. Let us not forget those cell phones and how inconsiderate they seem to make people.
Do we see these traits so easily in others because we know how quickly we can resort to this if we are out of sorts?
I learned the H.A.L.T. acronym as I was changing my lifestyle to eat better. I was reminded to check if I was starting to make bad choices, am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired? Sometimes it might bode us well to ask these questions when our attitude turns sour.
Deborah Pegues reminds us in this chapter about the Golden Rule which is in God's Word.
Luke 6:31 ' Do to others as you would have them do to you.'
Seems simple doesn't it, we all know how we would like to be treated. As our world becomes busier and everything is quick and instant, we are starting to expect that everywhere and the temptation to be rude and impatient grows. We need to guard our hearts and put boundaries around our time so we are better equipped to stand against our selfishness that creates rudeness.
I remembered a story this morning I once heard about a man who got on a crowded bus with his three children. He sat down and his kids were running wild up and down the aisle. He seemed oblivious to their actions and the people grumbling. Finally one lady had had enough and she tried to get his attention. 'Sir, sir!'
He slowly turned to her as she berated him to get his children under control. ' I am so sorry, we just came from the hospital where their mom, my wife just died.'
A lot of times we make quick judgments before we know the story behind a behavior. You can bet those people on the bus had an instant attitude adjustment.
Instead of responding in kind to someone rude today, can we give out God's love. Smile, ask a question, have empathy.
If you have to literally bite your tongue from being rude to someone, it will pay off in the long run. Do the opposite and be kind. It is through our kindness that God can love people.
Speaking the Truth
Hosea 11:4 ' I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love, I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them.'
1 Corinthians 13:4,5 'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com
I think we would all agree that this is one of the most recognizable wrong uses of our tongue. We have all experienced the rude driver, impolite store clerk, harsh customer, inconsiderate family member. Let us not forget those cell phones and how inconsiderate they seem to make people.
Do we see these traits so easily in others because we know how quickly we can resort to this if we are out of sorts?
I learned the H.A.L.T. acronym as I was changing my lifestyle to eat better. I was reminded to check if I was starting to make bad choices, am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired? Sometimes it might bode us well to ask these questions when our attitude turns sour.
Deborah Pegues reminds us in this chapter about the Golden Rule which is in God's Word.
Luke 6:31 ' Do to others as you would have them do to you.'
Seems simple doesn't it, we all know how we would like to be treated. As our world becomes busier and everything is quick and instant, we are starting to expect that everywhere and the temptation to be rude and impatient grows. We need to guard our hearts and put boundaries around our time so we are better equipped to stand against our selfishness that creates rudeness.
I remembered a story this morning I once heard about a man who got on a crowded bus with his three children. He sat down and his kids were running wild up and down the aisle. He seemed oblivious to their actions and the people grumbling. Finally one lady had had enough and she tried to get his attention. 'Sir, sir!'
He slowly turned to her as she berated him to get his children under control. ' I am so sorry, we just came from the hospital where their mom, my wife just died.'
A lot of times we make quick judgments before we know the story behind a behavior. You can bet those people on the bus had an instant attitude adjustment.
Instead of responding in kind to someone rude today, can we give out God's love. Smile, ask a question, have empathy.
If you have to literally bite your tongue from being rude to someone, it will pay off in the long run. Do the opposite and be kind. It is through our kindness that God can love people.
Speaking the Truth
Hosea 11:4 ' I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love, I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them.'
1 Corinthians 13:4,5 'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Day 18 - The Intimidating Tongue
Intimidate - to make timid or fearful, to force into or deter from some action by inducing fear.
I remember Shannon Ethridge once saying, " You cannot require intimacy in relationship but you can inspire it."
When I think of intimidation, it is not an inspiring way to get someone on your side. I see this as a power trip or controlling and wonder what is out of control in that person's life that they see a need to intimidate others.
As Deborah Pegues comments," God has never meant for anyone to oppress or dominate another person. Note that in the Garden of Eden, He gave Adam and Eve dominion over the fish, fowl and animals - not over each other or people."
Genesis 1:28 'God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'
I have seen many displays of intimidation in my workplace, both with co-workers and customers. It is interesting how some people behave to try and get their way. I love when God deals with them right in front of my eyes as I pray for His wisdom to calm them down. I have watched their attitude back down when I speak in an even tone with empathy and eye contact. Often people just want to be heard. I encourage you to stand up and don't allow the bully to push you around. More often than not they will back down when they know you are not having any of what they are dishing out. I think it surprises them sometimes that someone stands up to them and they are relieved in a sense of repeating the same behaviors.
I am not encouraging you to step into the middle of an abusive situation to try and calm them, just generally we can be confident that God is the only one we fear.
1 John 3:21 'Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God.'
I was reminded of a story as I witnessed some baby ducks this morning. One day in Saskatoon while driving on a busy freeway, a family of geese were waddling across the road. Seemingly oblivious to the dangers, I watched as each lane of traffic slowed to allow these geese some leeway. I was in the lane closest to the family and as I started to inch ahead, papa goose came charging and hissing at my car. I know from this example that intimidation can come from a protective stance.
Next time you are intimidated or are being intimidating, step back, question your own or other's motives. Do the opposite of being intimidating which is to encourage. Perhaps your kindness could be key to changing a heart.
Speaking the Truth
Hebrews 3:13 'But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
I remember Shannon Ethridge once saying, " You cannot require intimacy in relationship but you can inspire it."
When I think of intimidation, it is not an inspiring way to get someone on your side. I see this as a power trip or controlling and wonder what is out of control in that person's life that they see a need to intimidate others.
As Deborah Pegues comments," God has never meant for anyone to oppress or dominate another person. Note that in the Garden of Eden, He gave Adam and Eve dominion over the fish, fowl and animals - not over each other or people."
Genesis 1:28 'God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'
I have seen many displays of intimidation in my workplace, both with co-workers and customers. It is interesting how some people behave to try and get their way. I love when God deals with them right in front of my eyes as I pray for His wisdom to calm them down. I have watched their attitude back down when I speak in an even tone with empathy and eye contact. Often people just want to be heard. I encourage you to stand up and don't allow the bully to push you around. More often than not they will back down when they know you are not having any of what they are dishing out. I think it surprises them sometimes that someone stands up to them and they are relieved in a sense of repeating the same behaviors.
I am not encouraging you to step into the middle of an abusive situation to try and calm them, just generally we can be confident that God is the only one we fear.
1 John 3:21 'Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God.'
I was reminded of a story as I witnessed some baby ducks this morning. One day in Saskatoon while driving on a busy freeway, a family of geese were waddling across the road. Seemingly oblivious to the dangers, I watched as each lane of traffic slowed to allow these geese some leeway. I was in the lane closest to the family and as I started to inch ahead, papa goose came charging and hissing at my car. I know from this example that intimidation can come from a protective stance.
Next time you are intimidated or are being intimidating, step back, question your own or other's motives. Do the opposite of being intimidating which is to encourage. Perhaps your kindness could be key to changing a heart.
Speaking the Truth
Hebrews 3:13 'But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Day 17 - The Tactless Tongue
Tactless - lack of skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations
Synonym- unthinking, careless, insensitive
Antonym-careful, discreet, thoughtful
I am sure we have all witnessed someone speaking insensitive comments at inopportune times. The doctor with no bedside manner delivering a diagnosis, the coach deflating a spirit with careless words, a talent show judge taking too much liberty with their opinions.
I grew up in a family that didn't communicate well through issues, things were skirted around rather than dealt with. I didn't want to do that with my children. I went to the extreme end of the spectrum though trying to find my balance. So my honest, direct communication style wasn't always full of tact.
My oldest daughter has said to her sister, 'Are you sure you want to ask Mom that because you know you'll get the truth!'
Thankfully God is softening me to deliver the truth with love. It has been a real process to find the balance.
Ephesians 5:15 'Be very careful then, how you live, not as unwise but as wise.'niv
As Deborah Pegue says, 'Must pain always accompany truth? The extent to which a person experiences paun from being told the truth depends on numerous variables, including his degree of emotional security, his perceived worth or his desire to grow. We must understand that extending grace and telling the truth are not mutually exclusive concepts...Jesus never allowed His graciousness to prevent Him from imparting the truth.'
Proverbs 2:11 ' Discretion will protect you and understanding will guard you.' niv
Learning the truth of Christ's love for you can help you extend that love to others by speaking love with tact.
Speaking the Truth
Ephesians 4:15 'Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.' niv
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Synonym- unthinking, careless, insensitive
Antonym-careful, discreet, thoughtful
I am sure we have all witnessed someone speaking insensitive comments at inopportune times. The doctor with no bedside manner delivering a diagnosis, the coach deflating a spirit with careless words, a talent show judge taking too much liberty with their opinions.
I grew up in a family that didn't communicate well through issues, things were skirted around rather than dealt with. I didn't want to do that with my children. I went to the extreme end of the spectrum though trying to find my balance. So my honest, direct communication style wasn't always full of tact.
My oldest daughter has said to her sister, 'Are you sure you want to ask Mom that because you know you'll get the truth!'
Thankfully God is softening me to deliver the truth with love. It has been a real process to find the balance.
Ephesians 5:15 'Be very careful then, how you live, not as unwise but as wise.'niv
As Deborah Pegue says, 'Must pain always accompany truth? The extent to which a person experiences paun from being told the truth depends on numerous variables, including his degree of emotional security, his perceived worth or his desire to grow. We must understand that extending grace and telling the truth are not mutually exclusive concepts...Jesus never allowed His graciousness to prevent Him from imparting the truth.'
Proverbs 2:11 ' Discretion will protect you and understanding will guard you.' niv
Learning the truth of Christ's love for you can help you extend that love to others by speaking love with tact.
Speaking the Truth
Ephesians 4:15 'Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.' niv
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Day 16 - The Harsh Tongue
Harsh- ungentle in action or effect, grim; cruel, unpleasant to the senses.
Proverbs 15:1 'A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.'
I was reminded of a story I once heard as I read through this chapter. I think it is very appropriate for this topic. It was written anonymously.
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”
The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said “I hope you can forgive me father for the holes I put in you.”
“Of course I can,” said the father.
As I reread through this story from the perspective of the proverb above, I wonder if the little boy's anger was stirred up by someone's harsh words. I understand some personalities are more prone to anger, although we do have control over our thoughts and actions, some people do not learn the skills needed to redirect their anger. As I look back on my parenting there were many instances that I know my children's anger was likely brought on my quick tongue that spoke harshly. Stop, think and pray were needed in those times. Forgive me Lord.
Speaking the Truth
Proverbs 14:21 ' He who despises his neighbor sins, but blessed is he who is kind to the needy.'
Ephesians 4:32 ' Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.'
Proverbs 15:1 'A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.'
I was reminded of a story I once heard as I read through this chapter. I think it is very appropriate for this topic. It was written anonymously.
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”
The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said “I hope you can forgive me father for the holes I put in you.”
“Of course I can,” said the father.
As I reread through this story from the perspective of the proverb above, I wonder if the little boy's anger was stirred up by someone's harsh words. I understand some personalities are more prone to anger, although we do have control over our thoughts and actions, some people do not learn the skills needed to redirect their anger. As I look back on my parenting there were many instances that I know my children's anger was likely brought on my quick tongue that spoke harshly. Stop, think and pray were needed in those times. Forgive me Lord.
Speaking the Truth
Proverbs 14:21 ' He who despises his neighbor sins, but blessed is he who is kind to the needy.'
Ephesians 4:32 ' Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.'
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Day 15 - The Know-It-All Tongue
I know, you who use their tongue this way, know what I am gonna say about it! Seriously though, this tongue description is pretty self-explanatory.
I remember Joyce Meyer saying, "Being right is highly overrated!"
Practicing humility stops you from giving into the temptation of proving yourself right. My girlfriend and I used to remind each other of the motto, myob, or mind your own business. If we found ourselves giving unsolicited advice to others, especially our grown children, we would gently say myob!
You could use the phrase 'you should' as a trigger to recognize imposing your opinion on someone. Whenever you hear yourself saying those words, check your motives behind them.
Proverbs 12:23 ' A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly.'
This is another instance where the saying God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen well to others, be slow to speak. Let them tell you something you already know. This will keep a handle on your pride. Why do you feel a need to know it all?
Deborah Pegues asks, "Is your need for display of knowledge a smoke screen for insecurity? Are you craving attention or appreciation because you are not getting it from the source you desire?"
Proverbs 21:23 'The proud and arrogant man - "Mocker" is his name; he behaves with overweening pride.'
Check your words, are you feeding your pride or submitting to humility by the things you are saying or stopping yourself from saying?
Speaking the Truth
Titus 3:1,2 'Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.'
1Peter5:5,6 'Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble" Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
I remember Joyce Meyer saying, "Being right is highly overrated!"
Practicing humility stops you from giving into the temptation of proving yourself right. My girlfriend and I used to remind each other of the motto, myob, or mind your own business. If we found ourselves giving unsolicited advice to others, especially our grown children, we would gently say myob!
You could use the phrase 'you should' as a trigger to recognize imposing your opinion on someone. Whenever you hear yourself saying those words, check your motives behind them.
Proverbs 12:23 ' A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly.'
This is another instance where the saying God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen well to others, be slow to speak. Let them tell you something you already know. This will keep a handle on your pride. Why do you feel a need to know it all?
Deborah Pegues asks, "Is your need for display of knowledge a smoke screen for insecurity? Are you craving attention or appreciation because you are not getting it from the source you desire?"
Proverbs 21:23 'The proud and arrogant man - "Mocker" is his name; he behaves with overweening pride.'
Check your words, are you feeding your pride or submitting to humility by the things you are saying or stopping yourself from saying?
Speaking the Truth
Titus 3:1,2 'Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.'
1Peter5:5,6 'Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble" Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Day 14 - The Cynical Tongue
Cynic - One who believes only selfishness motivates human actions
Synonyms - nonbelieving, doubtful, pessimistic, sarcastic, suspicious
Antonyms- believing, hopeful, optimistic, trusting
Thomas, another of Jesus' disciples, comes to mind when I think of being cynical. The following passage that take place after Jesus' death and resurrection, paints this picture.
John 20-24-29 'Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!"
But he said to them,"Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."
A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood amond them and said," Peace be with you!" Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."
Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"
Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
I am sure that we have all experienced being in the company of a cynical person. It is like a poison and these people are difficult to be around.
Deborah Pegues says, 'Find one cynical employee, parishioner or family member and pretty soon those with weaker minds are chiming in and perpetuating the negative conversation. It can wreak havoc on any relationship and in any environment.'
As I reflected on times of being cynical or being around those who are, it seems lack of faith is one reason we resort to cynicism. If we choose to trust God no matter what the extenuating circumstances look like, we would have no reason to be pessimistic or suspicious.
Unforgiveness and bitterness are the root of this behavior as well. If someone has been hurt, betrayed or resentful and not released these things with forgiveness, they are quick to be cynical about anything changing.
I have worked with some very cynical people. The irony is that the meaning of cynic is someone who believes only selfishness motivates human actions when in fact their cynicism comes out of their selfishness of wanting their own way.
How are you contributing to cynicism around you? Are you the one creating the scenarios? Or are you perpetuating the effects by agreeing with someone that is? God has a simple solution to those whose doubt keeps them trapped. Jude 22 'Be merciful to those who doubt.'
I encourage you to try a different tactic and speak hope or optimism into a negative situation today.
Speaking the Truth
Hebrews 10:23 'Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.'
James 1:5,6 ' If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks; he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Synonyms - nonbelieving, doubtful, pessimistic, sarcastic, suspicious
Antonyms- believing, hopeful, optimistic, trusting
Thomas, another of Jesus' disciples, comes to mind when I think of being cynical. The following passage that take place after Jesus' death and resurrection, paints this picture.
John 20-24-29 'Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!"
But he said to them,"Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."
A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood amond them and said," Peace be with you!" Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."
Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"
Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
I am sure that we have all experienced being in the company of a cynical person. It is like a poison and these people are difficult to be around.
Deborah Pegues says, 'Find one cynical employee, parishioner or family member and pretty soon those with weaker minds are chiming in and perpetuating the negative conversation. It can wreak havoc on any relationship and in any environment.'
As I reflected on times of being cynical or being around those who are, it seems lack of faith is one reason we resort to cynicism. If we choose to trust God no matter what the extenuating circumstances look like, we would have no reason to be pessimistic or suspicious.
Unforgiveness and bitterness are the root of this behavior as well. If someone has been hurt, betrayed or resentful and not released these things with forgiveness, they are quick to be cynical about anything changing.
I have worked with some very cynical people. The irony is that the meaning of cynic is someone who believes only selfishness motivates human actions when in fact their cynicism comes out of their selfishness of wanting their own way.
How are you contributing to cynicism around you? Are you the one creating the scenarios? Or are you perpetuating the effects by agreeing with someone that is? God has a simple solution to those whose doubt keeps them trapped. Jude 22 'Be merciful to those who doubt.'
I encourage you to try a different tactic and speak hope or optimism into a negative situation today.
Speaking the Truth
Hebrews 10:23 'Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.'
James 1:5,6 ' If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks; he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Day 13 - The Belittling Tongue
Belittle- to regard or portray as less impressive or important, disparage (to bring reproach upon)
I am afraid these blog entries are becoming a confessional as God speaks to my heart. Please don't hear me wrong, it is not with condemnation that I work through these things but with conviction and God's guidance, thankful that He loves me enough to discipline me. So forgive me Lord for all the times that I didn't allow my children or others to feel as important or worthy as they are in your sight.
I know from personal experience that insecurity and my desire to feel worthy fueled my tongue to make others feel less than.
It is not someone big and strong who uses their tongue this way but someone who is weak and fearful. Even in the early days of my walk with God, pride puffed me up to think I was somehow better than others who didn't know Him. Thankfully God is dealing with me on both of these issues and as I learn more about God's love and forgiveness, I am able to extend that to others as well.
God without love is just religion and that doesn't change hearts. This world is too hard without others around us to encourage and build us up.
Deborah Pegues asks the questions, 'Do people feel better about themselves after spending time with you? Words are like a hammer. They can tear down or they can build up. How do you use your words mostly? Is it your normal behavior to build?'
It's funny but I've never had a problem encouraging others that I had no expectations of. As God has been changing my heart to see others as He sees them; I am free to have less expectation and freely love those close to me. Thank you Lord.
Keep an inventory of how you use your words today. Encourage one another.
Speaking the Truth
Ephesians 4:29 ' Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
I am afraid these blog entries are becoming a confessional as God speaks to my heart. Please don't hear me wrong, it is not with condemnation that I work through these things but with conviction and God's guidance, thankful that He loves me enough to discipline me. So forgive me Lord for all the times that I didn't allow my children or others to feel as important or worthy as they are in your sight.
I know from personal experience that insecurity and my desire to feel worthy fueled my tongue to make others feel less than.
It is not someone big and strong who uses their tongue this way but someone who is weak and fearful. Even in the early days of my walk with God, pride puffed me up to think I was somehow better than others who didn't know Him. Thankfully God is dealing with me on both of these issues and as I learn more about God's love and forgiveness, I am able to extend that to others as well.
God without love is just religion and that doesn't change hearts. This world is too hard without others around us to encourage and build us up.
Deborah Pegues asks the questions, 'Do people feel better about themselves after spending time with you? Words are like a hammer. They can tear down or they can build up. How do you use your words mostly? Is it your normal behavior to build?'
It's funny but I've never had a problem encouraging others that I had no expectations of. As God has been changing my heart to see others as He sees them; I am free to have less expectation and freely love those close to me. Thank you Lord.
Keep an inventory of how you use your words today. Encourage one another.
Speaking the Truth
Ephesians 4:29 ' Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Day 12 - The Betraying Tongue
Betray - to deliver or expose to an enemy by treachery, to be unfaithful or disloyal to, to reveal (something meant to be hidden), to seduce or desert.
The ultimate story of betrayal for me is the story of Judas, one of Jesus' disciples. He walked with Jesus for 3 years and in one moment he gave into the temptation and handed Jesus over to the chief priests and elders for 30 silver coins.
This short snippet of scripture shows how this act of our tongue can destroy our soul.
Matthew 27:3-5' When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priests and the elders.
" I have sinned," he said," for I have betrayed innocent blood."
"What is that to us?" they replied," That's your responsibility."
So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.'
Unfortunately and not proudly, I have been on both sides of this coin. To be honest, either way can eat away at you if you let it and forgiveness is key to healing.
Part of the process to do this is to accept the truth about God as Deborah Pegues says,' Let it go. God saw the betrayal before it happened and while it was happening. Since He chose not to intervene, accept it as part of His sovereign plan for your life. He will work it out for your good.'
Set your mind to be trustworthy, someone who can keep a confidence.
Proverbs 11:3 ' A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.'
Ultimately it is better to trust in God than it is in man.
Speaking the Truth
Proverbs 3:4,5 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
The ultimate story of betrayal for me is the story of Judas, one of Jesus' disciples. He walked with Jesus for 3 years and in one moment he gave into the temptation and handed Jesus over to the chief priests and elders for 30 silver coins.
This short snippet of scripture shows how this act of our tongue can destroy our soul.
Matthew 27:3-5' When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priests and the elders.
" I have sinned," he said," for I have betrayed innocent blood."
"What is that to us?" they replied," That's your responsibility."
So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.'
Unfortunately and not proudly, I have been on both sides of this coin. To be honest, either way can eat away at you if you let it and forgiveness is key to healing.
Part of the process to do this is to accept the truth about God as Deborah Pegues says,' Let it go. God saw the betrayal before it happened and while it was happening. Since He chose not to intervene, accept it as part of His sovereign plan for your life. He will work it out for your good.'
Set your mind to be trustworthy, someone who can keep a confidence.
Proverbs 11:3 ' A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.'
Ultimately it is better to trust in God than it is in man.
Speaking the Truth
Proverbs 3:4,5 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Day 11 - The Meddling Tongue
Meddle- to involve oneself in a matter without right or invitation, interfere.
Ok are some of you cringing already? I didn't realize I should be more than I thought! You mean I can't stick my nose in my adult children's business? Man, I should have read this chapter before I talked to them yesterday! Ahh, but then I would not have as much material to write about and things to confess.
I am reminded again that the best way to tame our tongues is to be mindful of how unruly they truly are and if we do give in to temptation that comes, keep moving our eyes to Jesus and being quick to confess.
Deborah Pegues spoke directly to my heart in saying,' If your children have reached adulthood, try to accept the fact that grown-ups do not need parenting. The law of sowing and reaping the consequences of bad decisions is still one of the most effective teachers of life's lessons. Give them space to learn.'
Forgive me Lord for all the times I have interfered where I don't belong and not only with my children. I am sure I have thwarted your plans in some ways. Thank you that you always have a way despite us.
I know that I am naturally curious but as the author said if we are that way; we must make a special effort to keep inquisitiveness in the bounds of what is socially and spiritually appropriate.
God takes our meddling seriously and counts it as sin, putting it in the same sentence with murder and stealing.
1Peter 4:15 'If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler.'
I thought of the opposite meaning of meddle which would be avoid, dodge or ignore. These could be the tools we use to avoid the temptation of poking our nose in where it does not belong.
Avoid trying to control a situation with your interrogating. Dodge any attempt at someone looking for your opinion to draw you in. Have you ever played dodgeball? Run as hard as you can to avoid those balls coming at you. Ignore the urge to know everything about anything.
We have to be sensitive to the fact that our meddling may be offensive to those around us.
Deborah Pegue ended with,' Someone once said that one reason why people who mind their own business are so successful is they have so little competition. Think about that!'
Speaking the Truth
Hebrews 12:2 ' Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Ok are some of you cringing already? I didn't realize I should be more than I thought! You mean I can't stick my nose in my adult children's business? Man, I should have read this chapter before I talked to them yesterday! Ahh, but then I would not have as much material to write about and things to confess.
I am reminded again that the best way to tame our tongues is to be mindful of how unruly they truly are and if we do give in to temptation that comes, keep moving our eyes to Jesus and being quick to confess.
Deborah Pegues spoke directly to my heart in saying,' If your children have reached adulthood, try to accept the fact that grown-ups do not need parenting. The law of sowing and reaping the consequences of bad decisions is still one of the most effective teachers of life's lessons. Give them space to learn.'
Forgive me Lord for all the times I have interfered where I don't belong and not only with my children. I am sure I have thwarted your plans in some ways. Thank you that you always have a way despite us.
I know that I am naturally curious but as the author said if we are that way; we must make a special effort to keep inquisitiveness in the bounds of what is socially and spiritually appropriate.
God takes our meddling seriously and counts it as sin, putting it in the same sentence with murder and stealing.
1Peter 4:15 'If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler.'
I thought of the opposite meaning of meddle which would be avoid, dodge or ignore. These could be the tools we use to avoid the temptation of poking our nose in where it does not belong.
Avoid trying to control a situation with your interrogating. Dodge any attempt at someone looking for your opinion to draw you in. Have you ever played dodgeball? Run as hard as you can to avoid those balls coming at you. Ignore the urge to know everything about anything.
We have to be sensitive to the fact that our meddling may be offensive to those around us.
Deborah Pegue ended with,' Someone once said that one reason why people who mind their own business are so successful is they have so little competition. Think about that!'
Speaking the Truth
Hebrews 12:2 ' Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Day 10 - The Gossiping Tongue
Gossip - idle talk or rumor, especially about the private affairs of others.
I admit that this use of the tongue is a difficult one for me to avoid. Not that I set out to gossip, but I need to be deliberate to stay, turn or walk away. I confess I am easily swayed into joining these conversations that are none of my business. It really must be a conscious effort to not bear or receive gossip about others. I also must be careful about who I associate with.
Proverbs 20:19 'A gossip betrays a confidence, so avoid a man who talks too much.'
You can almost bet that the person gossiping to you or asking you to 'share' is likely gossiping about you or 'passing on' what you've told them.
Loose lips sink ships. The origin of this phrase was coined as a slogan in WWII as part of the US Office of War Information in an attempt to limit the possibility of people inadvertently giving useful information to enemy spies. Loose lips might sink ships literally means unguarded talk may give useful information to the enemy.
I find no coincidence that gossip will give information to the enemy. The devil is deliberate in his plan is to steal, kill and destroy. The enemy will try to use this lack of integrity when we gossip to destroy others along with our own self-worth.
Deborah Pegue says,' What's the solution? How do you stop gossiping? Catch yourself before you indulge. Ask yourself why you are being a bearer of such news...Why are you willing to use the temple of God as a 'trash receptacle' by being a receiver of gossip?'
Speaking the Truth
Psalm 19:14 'May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.'
Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
I admit that this use of the tongue is a difficult one for me to avoid. Not that I set out to gossip, but I need to be deliberate to stay, turn or walk away. I confess I am easily swayed into joining these conversations that are none of my business. It really must be a conscious effort to not bear or receive gossip about others. I also must be careful about who I associate with.
Proverbs 20:19 'A gossip betrays a confidence, so avoid a man who talks too much.'
You can almost bet that the person gossiping to you or asking you to 'share' is likely gossiping about you or 'passing on' what you've told them.
Loose lips sink ships. The origin of this phrase was coined as a slogan in WWII as part of the US Office of War Information in an attempt to limit the possibility of people inadvertently giving useful information to enemy spies. Loose lips might sink ships literally means unguarded talk may give useful information to the enemy.
I find no coincidence that gossip will give information to the enemy. The devil is deliberate in his plan is to steal, kill and destroy. The enemy will try to use this lack of integrity when we gossip to destroy others along with our own self-worth.
Deborah Pegue says,' What's the solution? How do you stop gossiping? Catch yourself before you indulge. Ask yourself why you are being a bearer of such news...Why are you willing to use the temple of God as a 'trash receptacle' by being a receiver of gossip?'
Speaking the Truth
Psalm 19:14 'May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.'
Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Day 9 - The Slandering Tongue
Slander - to deliberately lie in order to cause harm, to defame.
I think a lot of us attribute this use of the tongue to a select group of people. Like politicians for example, the last election I had a hard time favoring certain parties who seemed to use most of their advertising slandering other parties.
I don't think any of us are exempt from being tempted to put another down with intent to harm. Those who may be weak and insecure could fall into this temptation in order to feel stronger.
The irony is that their intent to damage someone's image does not enhance their own, quite the opposite I have found.
God's word has great wisdom for someone who wants to keep their conscience clear without defaming others.
1 Peter 3:15,16 ' But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.'
Ephesians 4:31,32 ' Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.'
Remember when our mothers used to say, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all! We would do well to heed this advice.
As Deborah Pegue comments, 'We can be assured there won't be any slanderers in heaven.'
Psalm 15:1-3 'Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman.'
The author says, ' Since God has secured our destiny and has promised to avenge all wrongs perpetrated against us, why engage in slander? I find it interesting that the Greek word for "slander" is derived from diabolos, which means " devil". Slandering is an illegal, diabolical act that God abhors. Be careful what you sow with your words.'
Once you change your thinking, your words and actions will follow. So think on good things.
Speaking the Truth
Philippians 4:8 'Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right; whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.'
Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
I think a lot of us attribute this use of the tongue to a select group of people. Like politicians for example, the last election I had a hard time favoring certain parties who seemed to use most of their advertising slandering other parties.
I don't think any of us are exempt from being tempted to put another down with intent to harm. Those who may be weak and insecure could fall into this temptation in order to feel stronger.
The irony is that their intent to damage someone's image does not enhance their own, quite the opposite I have found.
God's word has great wisdom for someone who wants to keep their conscience clear without defaming others.
1 Peter 3:15,16 ' But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.'
Ephesians 4:31,32 ' Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.'
Remember when our mothers used to say, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all! We would do well to heed this advice.
As Deborah Pegue comments, 'We can be assured there won't be any slanderers in heaven.'
Psalm 15:1-3 'Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman.'
The author says, ' Since God has secured our destiny and has promised to avenge all wrongs perpetrated against us, why engage in slander? I find it interesting that the Greek word for "slander" is derived from diabolos, which means " devil". Slandering is an illegal, diabolical act that God abhors. Be careful what you sow with your words.'
Once you change your thinking, your words and actions will follow. So think on good things.
Speaking the Truth
Philippians 4:8 'Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right; whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.'
Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Day 8 The Self-Deprecating Tongue
Self-deprecating - to express earnest disapproval or to belittle yourself.
Joyce Meyer says there are studies that prove we believe more of what we say to ourselves than what anyone else tells us.
It amazes me how much of the uses of our tongue in negative ways, traces back to our lack of identity. If we TRULY believed we were children of God and made in His image; would we belittle ourselves?
Genesis 1:27 'So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.'
Would we disapprove of the way we look if we REALLY believed in the beauty He created in us?
Ecclesiastes 3:11 ' He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.'
Deborah Pegues says,' Self-deprecation is often disguised as humility. In reality it is a rejection of the Word of God which says we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. (Phillipians 4:13) We need to watch the negative labels we put on ourselves. Have you had an experience that you have allowed to define you?'
Romans 12:2a 'Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.'
This is God's prescription for healing in this area. We will not change what we do until we learn to change the way we think. Transforming the mind is done through God's word. Speak the truth until your heart and mind believe it. You will have no reason to put yourself down when God's word builds you up.
Speaking the Truth
Psalm 139:13-16
'For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb,
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.'
Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Joyce Meyer says there are studies that prove we believe more of what we say to ourselves than what anyone else tells us.
It amazes me how much of the uses of our tongue in negative ways, traces back to our lack of identity. If we TRULY believed we were children of God and made in His image; would we belittle ourselves?
Genesis 1:27 'So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.'
Would we disapprove of the way we look if we REALLY believed in the beauty He created in us?
Ecclesiastes 3:11 ' He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.'
Deborah Pegues says,' Self-deprecation is often disguised as humility. In reality it is a rejection of the Word of God which says we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. (Phillipians 4:13) We need to watch the negative labels we put on ourselves. Have you had an experience that you have allowed to define you?'
Romans 12:2a 'Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.'
This is God's prescription for healing in this area. We will not change what we do until we learn to change the way we think. Transforming the mind is done through God's word. Speak the truth until your heart and mind believe it. You will have no reason to put yourself down when God's word builds you up.
Speaking the Truth
Psalm 139:13-16
'For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb,
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.'
Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Day 7 The Boasting Tongue
Boast - To speak with excessive pride, brag.
Proverbs 27: 1,2
'Do not boast about tomorrow,
for you do not know what a day may bring forth.
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;
someone else, and not your own lips.
My husband said in the sales area of the company he works for, self-promotion is the buzzword. In the game of climbing the corporate ladder or gaining a reputation, God's favor is often forgotten. They boast in their abilities or accomplishments, ignoring or forgetting everything they have is from God.
Deborah Pegue has framed this verse and hung it in her office to remind her she is nothing without God. 1 Corinthians 4:7 'For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?'
Our pride keeps us from acknowledging God is the giver of all things. Whatever skills or talents we have been given are for God's glory, not ours. I have been guilty as well of bragging on my kids talents and abilities as though somehow I was the one who gave them all that. My motives were sometimes based in my own insecurity that if they were 'good', I was too. This is not saying we can't encourage our kids in what they have been given.
The author cautions that we learn to take praise in stride as well. If you consume the perfume of it, it can be toxic. As you examine your speech today, pray for a humble spirit and and acknowledge God in all your ways.
Speaking the Truth
1 Corinthians 15:10a 'But by the grace of God, I am what I am....'
Jeremiah 9:23,24
'This is what the Lord says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this;
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the Lord who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight."
declares the Lord.
Proverbs 27: 1,2
'Do not boast about tomorrow,
for you do not know what a day may bring forth.
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;
someone else, and not your own lips.
My husband said in the sales area of the company he works for, self-promotion is the buzzword. In the game of climbing the corporate ladder or gaining a reputation, God's favor is often forgotten. They boast in their abilities or accomplishments, ignoring or forgetting everything they have is from God.
Deborah Pegue has framed this verse and hung it in her office to remind her she is nothing without God. 1 Corinthians 4:7 'For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?'
Our pride keeps us from acknowledging God is the giver of all things. Whatever skills or talents we have been given are for God's glory, not ours. I have been guilty as well of bragging on my kids talents and abilities as though somehow I was the one who gave them all that. My motives were sometimes based in my own insecurity that if they were 'good', I was too. This is not saying we can't encourage our kids in what they have been given.
The author cautions that we learn to take praise in stride as well. If you consume the perfume of it, it can be toxic. As you examine your speech today, pray for a humble spirit and and acknowledge God in all your ways.
Speaking the Truth
1 Corinthians 15:10a 'But by the grace of God, I am what I am....'
Jeremiah 9:23,24
'This is what the Lord says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this;
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the Lord who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight."
declares the Lord.
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