Day 17 - The Tactless Tongue

Tactless - lack of skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations
Synonym- unthinking, careless, insensitive
Antonym-careful, discreet, thoughtful

I am sure we have all witnessed someone speaking insensitive comments at inopportune times. The doctor with no bedside manner delivering a diagnosis, the coach deflating a spirit with careless words, a talent show judge taking too much liberty with their opinions.
I grew up in a family that didn't communicate well through issues, things were skirted around rather than dealt with. I didn't want to do that with my children. I went to the extreme end of the spectrum though trying to find my balance. So my honest, direct communication style wasn't always full of tact.
My oldest daughter has said to her sister, 'Are you sure you want to ask Mom that because you know you'll get the truth!'
Thankfully God is softening me to deliver the truth with love. It has been a real process to find the balance.
Ephesians 5:15 'Be very careful then, how you live, not as unwise but as wise.'niv
As Deborah Pegue says, 'Must pain always accompany truth? The extent to which a person experiences paun from being told the truth depends on numerous variables, including his degree of emotional security, his perceived worth or his desire to grow. We must understand that extending grace and telling the truth are not mutually exclusive concepts...Jesus never allowed His graciousness to prevent Him from imparting the truth.'
Proverbs 2:11 ' Discretion will protect you and understanding will guard you.' niv
Learning the truth of Christ's love for you can help you extend that love to others by speaking love with tact.
Speaking the Truth
Ephesians 4:15 'Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.' niv

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.