Self-absorbed - preoccupied with one's own thoughts or interests.
Absorbed - occupy complete attention, consume
I couldn't stop thinking about myself long enough to get this written! ha Seriously though, I have been guilty of this over the years. I had to find the balance when I was a people pleaser for so many years. God had to heal in me the emptiness from my own unworthiness, to be full an overflowing with love to others. This healing went from only being concerned for myself (or others for selfish reasons, to look good etc) to genuinely being able to love and care about others because I know that God loves me. ( and it is not because of what I do or don't do! He just does)
The journey has been neither quick or easy but very worth it to know who I am and to be free to love others.
I find it interesting that absorb can also mean to take in without echo, recoil or reflection. This is a very fitting description about one who is self-absorbed. There is nothing echoed or reflected back to the person trying to have a conversation with them. They are consumed by their own thoughts and are not even listening well because they are planning their next story off of what they are hearing.
Have you experienced someone like this? Have you been that someone? I have also known a few people who can take ANY little tidbit of information I give and turn it into a memory or story about themself.
Although I give them credit for their amazing memory or gift of storytelling, this can become frustrating if it is a common occurence.
Proverbs 18:13 ' He who answers before listening - that is his folly and his shame.'
Deborah Pegues suggest we become others-absorbed instead of self. Distract yourself with a challenge to go a whole day without making issues about you. Give everyone you converse with your full attention and watch your relationships deepen.
Speaking the Truth
Romans 12:9-11 'Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com
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