Day 18 - The Intimidating Tongue

Intimidate - to make timid or fearful, to force into or deter from some action by inducing fear.

I remember Shannon Ethridge once saying, " You cannot require intimacy in relationship but you can inspire it."
When I think of intimidation, it is not an inspiring way to get someone on your side. I see this as a power trip or controlling and wonder what is out of control in that person's life that they see a need to intimidate others.
As Deborah Pegues comments," God has never meant for anyone to oppress or dominate another person. Note that in the Garden of Eden, He gave Adam and Eve dominion over the fish, fowl and animals - not over each other or people."
Genesis 1:28 'God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'
I have seen many displays of intimidation in my workplace, both with co-workers and customers. It is interesting how some people behave to try and get their way. I love when God deals with them right in front of my eyes as I pray for His wisdom to calm them down. I have watched their attitude back down when I speak in an even tone with empathy and eye contact. Often people just want to be heard. I encourage you to stand up and don't allow the bully to push you around. More often than not they will back down when they know you are not having any of what they are dishing out. I think it surprises them sometimes that someone stands up to them and they are relieved in a sense of repeating the same behaviors.
I am not encouraging you to step into the middle of an abusive situation to try and calm them, just generally we can be confident that God is the only one we fear.
1 John 3:21 'Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God.'
I was reminded of a story as I witnessed some baby ducks this morning. One day in Saskatoon while driving on a busy freeway, a family of geese were waddling across the road. Seemingly oblivious to the dangers, I watched as each lane of traffic slowed to allow these geese some leeway. I was in the lane closest to the family and as I started to inch ahead, papa goose came charging and hissing at my car. I know from this example that intimidation can come from a protective stance.
Next time you are intimidated or are being intimidating, step back, question your own or other's motives. Do the opposite of being intimidating which is to encourage. Perhaps your kindness could be key to changing a heart.
Speaking the Truth
Hebrews 3:13 'But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.'

Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.