Belittle- to regard or portray as less impressive or important, disparage (to bring reproach upon)
I am afraid these blog entries are becoming a confessional as God speaks to my heart. Please don't hear me wrong, it is not with condemnation that I work through these things but with conviction and God's guidance, thankful that He loves me enough to discipline me. So forgive me Lord for all the times that I didn't allow my children or others to feel as important or worthy as they are in your sight.
I know from personal experience that insecurity and my desire to feel worthy fueled my tongue to make others feel less than.
It is not someone big and strong who uses their tongue this way but someone who is weak and fearful. Even in the early days of my walk with God, pride puffed me up to think I was somehow better than others who didn't know Him. Thankfully God is dealing with me on both of these issues and as I learn more about God's love and forgiveness, I am able to extend that to others as well.
God without love is just religion and that doesn't change hearts. This world is too hard without others around us to encourage and build us up.
Deborah Pegues asks the questions, 'Do people feel better about themselves after spending time with you? Words are like a hammer. They can tear down or they can build up. How do you use your words mostly? Is it your normal behavior to build?'
It's funny but I've never had a problem encouraging others that I had no expectations of. As God has been changing my heart to see others as He sees them; I am free to have less expectation and freely love those close to me. Thank you Lord.
Keep an inventory of how you use your words today. Encourage one another.
Speaking the Truth
Ephesians 4:29 ' Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Day 12 - The Betraying Tongue
Betray - to deliver or expose to an enemy by treachery, to be unfaithful or disloyal to, to reveal (something meant to be hidden), to seduce or desert.
The ultimate story of betrayal for me is the story of Judas, one of Jesus' disciples. He walked with Jesus for 3 years and in one moment he gave into the temptation and handed Jesus over to the chief priests and elders for 30 silver coins.
This short snippet of scripture shows how this act of our tongue can destroy our soul.
Matthew 27:3-5' When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priests and the elders.
" I have sinned," he said," for I have betrayed innocent blood."
"What is that to us?" they replied," That's your responsibility."
So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.'
Unfortunately and not proudly, I have been on both sides of this coin. To be honest, either way can eat away at you if you let it and forgiveness is key to healing.
Part of the process to do this is to accept the truth about God as Deborah Pegues says,' Let it go. God saw the betrayal before it happened and while it was happening. Since He chose not to intervene, accept it as part of His sovereign plan for your life. He will work it out for your good.'
Set your mind to be trustworthy, someone who can keep a confidence.
Proverbs 11:3 ' A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.'
Ultimately it is better to trust in God than it is in man.
Speaking the Truth
Proverbs 3:4,5 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
The ultimate story of betrayal for me is the story of Judas, one of Jesus' disciples. He walked with Jesus for 3 years and in one moment he gave into the temptation and handed Jesus over to the chief priests and elders for 30 silver coins.
This short snippet of scripture shows how this act of our tongue can destroy our soul.
Matthew 27:3-5' When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priests and the elders.
" I have sinned," he said," for I have betrayed innocent blood."
"What is that to us?" they replied," That's your responsibility."
So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.'
Unfortunately and not proudly, I have been on both sides of this coin. To be honest, either way can eat away at you if you let it and forgiveness is key to healing.
Part of the process to do this is to accept the truth about God as Deborah Pegues says,' Let it go. God saw the betrayal before it happened and while it was happening. Since He chose not to intervene, accept it as part of His sovereign plan for your life. He will work it out for your good.'
Set your mind to be trustworthy, someone who can keep a confidence.
Proverbs 11:3 ' A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.'
Ultimately it is better to trust in God than it is in man.
Speaking the Truth
Proverbs 3:4,5 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Day 11 - The Meddling Tongue
Meddle- to involve oneself in a matter without right or invitation, interfere.
Ok are some of you cringing already? I didn't realize I should be more than I thought! You mean I can't stick my nose in my adult children's business? Man, I should have read this chapter before I talked to them yesterday! Ahh, but then I would not have as much material to write about and things to confess.
I am reminded again that the best way to tame our tongues is to be mindful of how unruly they truly are and if we do give in to temptation that comes, keep moving our eyes to Jesus and being quick to confess.
Deborah Pegues spoke directly to my heart in saying,' If your children have reached adulthood, try to accept the fact that grown-ups do not need parenting. The law of sowing and reaping the consequences of bad decisions is still one of the most effective teachers of life's lessons. Give them space to learn.'
Forgive me Lord for all the times I have interfered where I don't belong and not only with my children. I am sure I have thwarted your plans in some ways. Thank you that you always have a way despite us.
I know that I am naturally curious but as the author said if we are that way; we must make a special effort to keep inquisitiveness in the bounds of what is socially and spiritually appropriate.
God takes our meddling seriously and counts it as sin, putting it in the same sentence with murder and stealing.
1Peter 4:15 'If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler.'
I thought of the opposite meaning of meddle which would be avoid, dodge or ignore. These could be the tools we use to avoid the temptation of poking our nose in where it does not belong.
Avoid trying to control a situation with your interrogating. Dodge any attempt at someone looking for your opinion to draw you in. Have you ever played dodgeball? Run as hard as you can to avoid those balls coming at you. Ignore the urge to know everything about anything.
We have to be sensitive to the fact that our meddling may be offensive to those around us.
Deborah Pegue ended with,' Someone once said that one reason why people who mind their own business are so successful is they have so little competition. Think about that!'
Speaking the Truth
Hebrews 12:2 ' Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Ok are some of you cringing already? I didn't realize I should be more than I thought! You mean I can't stick my nose in my adult children's business? Man, I should have read this chapter before I talked to them yesterday! Ahh, but then I would not have as much material to write about and things to confess.
I am reminded again that the best way to tame our tongues is to be mindful of how unruly they truly are and if we do give in to temptation that comes, keep moving our eyes to Jesus and being quick to confess.
Deborah Pegues spoke directly to my heart in saying,' If your children have reached adulthood, try to accept the fact that grown-ups do not need parenting. The law of sowing and reaping the consequences of bad decisions is still one of the most effective teachers of life's lessons. Give them space to learn.'
Forgive me Lord for all the times I have interfered where I don't belong and not only with my children. I am sure I have thwarted your plans in some ways. Thank you that you always have a way despite us.
I know that I am naturally curious but as the author said if we are that way; we must make a special effort to keep inquisitiveness in the bounds of what is socially and spiritually appropriate.
God takes our meddling seriously and counts it as sin, putting it in the same sentence with murder and stealing.
1Peter 4:15 'If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler.'
I thought of the opposite meaning of meddle which would be avoid, dodge or ignore. These could be the tools we use to avoid the temptation of poking our nose in where it does not belong.
Avoid trying to control a situation with your interrogating. Dodge any attempt at someone looking for your opinion to draw you in. Have you ever played dodgeball? Run as hard as you can to avoid those balls coming at you. Ignore the urge to know everything about anything.
We have to be sensitive to the fact that our meddling may be offensive to those around us.
Deborah Pegue ended with,' Someone once said that one reason why people who mind their own business are so successful is they have so little competition. Think about that!'
Speaking the Truth
Hebrews 12:2 ' Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.'
Excerpted from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Day 10 - The Gossiping Tongue
Gossip - idle talk or rumor, especially about the private affairs of others.
I admit that this use of the tongue is a difficult one for me to avoid. Not that I set out to gossip, but I need to be deliberate to stay, turn or walk away. I confess I am easily swayed into joining these conversations that are none of my business. It really must be a conscious effort to not bear or receive gossip about others. I also must be careful about who I associate with.
Proverbs 20:19 'A gossip betrays a confidence, so avoid a man who talks too much.'
You can almost bet that the person gossiping to you or asking you to 'share' is likely gossiping about you or 'passing on' what you've told them.
Loose lips sink ships. The origin of this phrase was coined as a slogan in WWII as part of the US Office of War Information in an attempt to limit the possibility of people inadvertently giving useful information to enemy spies. Loose lips might sink ships literally means unguarded talk may give useful information to the enemy.
I find no coincidence that gossip will give information to the enemy. The devil is deliberate in his plan is to steal, kill and destroy. The enemy will try to use this lack of integrity when we gossip to destroy others along with our own self-worth.
Deborah Pegue says,' What's the solution? How do you stop gossiping? Catch yourself before you indulge. Ask yourself why you are being a bearer of such news...Why are you willing to use the temple of God as a 'trash receptacle' by being a receiver of gossip?'
Speaking the Truth
Psalm 19:14 'May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.'
Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
I admit that this use of the tongue is a difficult one for me to avoid. Not that I set out to gossip, but I need to be deliberate to stay, turn or walk away. I confess I am easily swayed into joining these conversations that are none of my business. It really must be a conscious effort to not bear or receive gossip about others. I also must be careful about who I associate with.
Proverbs 20:19 'A gossip betrays a confidence, so avoid a man who talks too much.'
You can almost bet that the person gossiping to you or asking you to 'share' is likely gossiping about you or 'passing on' what you've told them.
Loose lips sink ships. The origin of this phrase was coined as a slogan in WWII as part of the US Office of War Information in an attempt to limit the possibility of people inadvertently giving useful information to enemy spies. Loose lips might sink ships literally means unguarded talk may give useful information to the enemy.
I find no coincidence that gossip will give information to the enemy. The devil is deliberate in his plan is to steal, kill and destroy. The enemy will try to use this lack of integrity when we gossip to destroy others along with our own self-worth.
Deborah Pegue says,' What's the solution? How do you stop gossiping? Catch yourself before you indulge. Ask yourself why you are being a bearer of such news...Why are you willing to use the temple of God as a 'trash receptacle' by being a receiver of gossip?'
Speaking the Truth
Psalm 19:14 'May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.'
Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Day 9 - The Slandering Tongue
Slander - to deliberately lie in order to cause harm, to defame.
I think a lot of us attribute this use of the tongue to a select group of people. Like politicians for example, the last election I had a hard time favoring certain parties who seemed to use most of their advertising slandering other parties.
I don't think any of us are exempt from being tempted to put another down with intent to harm. Those who may be weak and insecure could fall into this temptation in order to feel stronger.
The irony is that their intent to damage someone's image does not enhance their own, quite the opposite I have found.
God's word has great wisdom for someone who wants to keep their conscience clear without defaming others.
1 Peter 3:15,16 ' But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.'
Ephesians 4:31,32 ' Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.'
Remember when our mothers used to say, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all! We would do well to heed this advice.
As Deborah Pegue comments, 'We can be assured there won't be any slanderers in heaven.'
Psalm 15:1-3 'Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman.'
The author says, ' Since God has secured our destiny and has promised to avenge all wrongs perpetrated against us, why engage in slander? I find it interesting that the Greek word for "slander" is derived from diabolos, which means " devil". Slandering is an illegal, diabolical act that God abhors. Be careful what you sow with your words.'
Once you change your thinking, your words and actions will follow. So think on good things.
Speaking the Truth
Philippians 4:8 'Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right; whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.'
Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
I think a lot of us attribute this use of the tongue to a select group of people. Like politicians for example, the last election I had a hard time favoring certain parties who seemed to use most of their advertising slandering other parties.
I don't think any of us are exempt from being tempted to put another down with intent to harm. Those who may be weak and insecure could fall into this temptation in order to feel stronger.
The irony is that their intent to damage someone's image does not enhance their own, quite the opposite I have found.
God's word has great wisdom for someone who wants to keep their conscience clear without defaming others.
1 Peter 3:15,16 ' But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.'
Ephesians 4:31,32 ' Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.'
Remember when our mothers used to say, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all! We would do well to heed this advice.
As Deborah Pegue comments, 'We can be assured there won't be any slanderers in heaven.'
Psalm 15:1-3 'Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman.'
The author says, ' Since God has secured our destiny and has promised to avenge all wrongs perpetrated against us, why engage in slander? I find it interesting that the Greek word for "slander" is derived from diabolos, which means " devil". Slandering is an illegal, diabolical act that God abhors. Be careful what you sow with your words.'
Once you change your thinking, your words and actions will follow. So think on good things.
Speaking the Truth
Philippians 4:8 'Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right; whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.'
Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Day 8 The Self-Deprecating Tongue
Self-deprecating - to express earnest disapproval or to belittle yourself.
Joyce Meyer says there are studies that prove we believe more of what we say to ourselves than what anyone else tells us.
It amazes me how much of the uses of our tongue in negative ways, traces back to our lack of identity. If we TRULY believed we were children of God and made in His image; would we belittle ourselves?
Genesis 1:27 'So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.'
Would we disapprove of the way we look if we REALLY believed in the beauty He created in us?
Ecclesiastes 3:11 ' He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.'
Deborah Pegues says,' Self-deprecation is often disguised as humility. In reality it is a rejection of the Word of God which says we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. (Phillipians 4:13) We need to watch the negative labels we put on ourselves. Have you had an experience that you have allowed to define you?'
Romans 12:2a 'Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.'
This is God's prescription for healing in this area. We will not change what we do until we learn to change the way we think. Transforming the mind is done through God's word. Speak the truth until your heart and mind believe it. You will have no reason to put yourself down when God's word builds you up.
Speaking the Truth
Psalm 139:13-16
'For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb,
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.'
Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Joyce Meyer says there are studies that prove we believe more of what we say to ourselves than what anyone else tells us.
It amazes me how much of the uses of our tongue in negative ways, traces back to our lack of identity. If we TRULY believed we were children of God and made in His image; would we belittle ourselves?
Genesis 1:27 'So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.'
Would we disapprove of the way we look if we REALLY believed in the beauty He created in us?
Ecclesiastes 3:11 ' He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.'
Deborah Pegues says,' Self-deprecation is often disguised as humility. In reality it is a rejection of the Word of God which says we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. (Phillipians 4:13) We need to watch the negative labels we put on ourselves. Have you had an experience that you have allowed to define you?'
Romans 12:2a 'Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.'
This is God's prescription for healing in this area. We will not change what we do until we learn to change the way we think. Transforming the mind is done through God's word. Speak the truth until your heart and mind believe it. You will have no reason to put yourself down when God's word builds you up.
Speaking the Truth
Psalm 139:13-16
'For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb,
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.'
Excerpts from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues (Harvest House Publishers 2005). Autographed copy of the book and workbook available at www.confrontingissues.com.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Day 7 The Boasting Tongue
Boast - To speak with excessive pride, brag.
Proverbs 27: 1,2
'Do not boast about tomorrow,
for you do not know what a day may bring forth.
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;
someone else, and not your own lips.
My husband said in the sales area of the company he works for, self-promotion is the buzzword. In the game of climbing the corporate ladder or gaining a reputation, God's favor is often forgotten. They boast in their abilities or accomplishments, ignoring or forgetting everything they have is from God.
Deborah Pegue has framed this verse and hung it in her office to remind her she is nothing without God. 1 Corinthians 4:7 'For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?'
Our pride keeps us from acknowledging God is the giver of all things. Whatever skills or talents we have been given are for God's glory, not ours. I have been guilty as well of bragging on my kids talents and abilities as though somehow I was the one who gave them all that. My motives were sometimes based in my own insecurity that if they were 'good', I was too. This is not saying we can't encourage our kids in what they have been given.
The author cautions that we learn to take praise in stride as well. If you consume the perfume of it, it can be toxic. As you examine your speech today, pray for a humble spirit and and acknowledge God in all your ways.
Speaking the Truth
1 Corinthians 15:10a 'But by the grace of God, I am what I am....'
Jeremiah 9:23,24
'This is what the Lord says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this;
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the Lord who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight."
declares the Lord.
Proverbs 27: 1,2
'Do not boast about tomorrow,
for you do not know what a day may bring forth.
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;
someone else, and not your own lips.
My husband said in the sales area of the company he works for, self-promotion is the buzzword. In the game of climbing the corporate ladder or gaining a reputation, God's favor is often forgotten. They boast in their abilities or accomplishments, ignoring or forgetting everything they have is from God.
Deborah Pegue has framed this verse and hung it in her office to remind her she is nothing without God. 1 Corinthians 4:7 'For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?'
Our pride keeps us from acknowledging God is the giver of all things. Whatever skills or talents we have been given are for God's glory, not ours. I have been guilty as well of bragging on my kids talents and abilities as though somehow I was the one who gave them all that. My motives were sometimes based in my own insecurity that if they were 'good', I was too. This is not saying we can't encourage our kids in what they have been given.
The author cautions that we learn to take praise in stride as well. If you consume the perfume of it, it can be toxic. As you examine your speech today, pray for a humble spirit and and acknowledge God in all your ways.
Speaking the Truth
1 Corinthians 15:10a 'But by the grace of God, I am what I am....'
Jeremiah 9:23,24
'This is what the Lord says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this;
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the Lord who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight."
declares the Lord.
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