How Sweet It Is......

I spent last weekend at Temple Gardens Mineral Spa with three sweet friends. It was our first reunion since I moved 3 months ago.
I have to admit that I had some expectations of our time together. And I pictured what it would look like. (Yes I do often forget that I am not God and not in control of everything!)
I imagined that we would encourage each other, spur one another on, pray for each other and have revelation of God's insight, along with fun and relaxation. We did all of these things but not in ways that I expected. Thankfully God is more creative in working things out than I imagine!
One of my highlights was that we shared each others stories, from birth till now. As we listened to one another I marvelled at how blessed I am to know such amazing women. Women who are so full of love from all the joy, hardships, blessings and difficulties that God has walked them through. We laughed, we cried, we celebrated God's grace.
We realized we have become richer, more like Jesus, through the incredulous pain and sorrow we have experienced. We voiced how we would not change most of these things because of the lessons learned and character produced from them.
To know and be known. Isn't that what we long for? I was encouraged and spurred on by unconditional love, these women love me despite myself! It is easy to be with them and reassuring to be known by them.
The blessing of the weekend was an extension of God's love, how He knows me. Psalm 139, vs 1 & 13 give a tiny picture of this amazing truth, 'O Lord, you have searched me and you know me....For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb.'
It can't get any more intimate than that!
All through our weekend together the song How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) kept playing in my mind. I came home and looked up the lyrics. I am sure that Marvin Gaye was singing this to a lover but in the spirit of our friendship, I felt the words were very fitting and God gave them to me for a reason.
' I needed the shelter of someone's arms and there you were,
I needed someone to understand my ups and downs and there you were,
With sweet love and devotion
deeply touching my emotion
I want to stop and thank you baby
I just want to stop and thank you baby
How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you.'
Thank you to ALL my girlfriends! This journey would be difficult without you. How sweet it is to be loved by you!
Is there someone you need to share God's love with? Is there someone you need to thank for loving you? Are you letting THE ONE who knows you, love you?

Everyone needs compassion!

I am very grateful for the husband God has blessed me with. Sharon A. Hersh in her book Begin Again, Believe Again writes, "When we believe that we are loved even when we are good for nothing, we can rest from all our striving. That is freedom."
Wade has been faithful in showing me this principle. Believe me there have been times when I have been good for nothing. He is committed to love me regardless. I have experienced more freedom through our relationship than I ever have as he loves me with Christ's love.
Ephesians 5:25-28, 31-33
'Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself...
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.'
See I believe if we love and respect one another as God commands us, the blessings are incredulous. We also are right in the middle of His will when we do this.
John 15:12 says,' My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.'
One of my good for nothing things God is working out in me is my lack of compassion. Without a long history lesson, I always felt I needed to be strong for others, that it was weak to show weakness. This took me to the extreme end of the spectrum in that my first response to pain and suffering was always suck it up, or its not that bad. Empathy has not been my strong suit.
One of the ways God is refining me is through Wade. He struggles with a stricture in his esophagus, a recurring health issue.
As my love and trust deepen through God in our marriage, so does my compassion for Wade and others. It has not been an easy journey for either of us. There have been times when my first instinct is, Oh c'mon, but I am recognizing it sooner. God is giving me His sight for Wade.
We still continue to trust and pray for his healing. It is difficult to watch him struggle. My husband walks out his journey with integrity, trusting God for his best and loving me and our family with God's love.
I have heard it said, Preach all the time and if necessary use words! Wade's life is a testimony.
Please pray for him as he faces an invasive procedure tomorrow morning!

Choose Life

Isn't it an amazing concept that God chooses us? The God who created all things chose me to be His child! The flip side of this is that the God who created all things has given us free will. This used to be such a conundrum to me why God would allow weak, fallible humans the opportunity of choice. Why did He make it an option to choose Him?
This becomes less puzzling as I get to know Him better.
God is love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Now try reading it with God instead of love...
Always - all the time, continuously, forever!
I love my husband very much. Ten years ago when we met my thinking was still pretty unhealthy. I thought that I could force relationship with him. Thank God he had a little more wisdom than I and backed away for a time.
I am not saying that this was not a painful time but I shudder to think of the rotten fruit that would have been produced had he given in to my demands. We married 5 years ago on the solid rock of Christ and forgiveness. We chose each other in love and the fruit is intimacy and a deepening desire to know more of the other everyday.
In the same way, God does not want to force Himself on us or control our choices. His heart is for us and He desires for us to choose Him. He knows though that the intimacy comes from our desire for Him. It is our deliberate act of choice as we recognize our need for Him that creates relationship.
Deuteronomy 31:19,20a "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to Him. "
Are your choices creating life or death for you?
I want to dedicate this blog entry to my sister Kerri. 2 years ago today she chose life and has been clean and sober. She knows that without God she would not be where she is now and possibly not even alive. Bless you girl, I am proud of you and amazed at the miracles of our God! Keep on keeping on.

Stinkin' Thinkin'

Deliberate according to Websters means; studied or intentional, careful or slow in deciding, slow and even; unhurried, to weigh in the mind;consider.
I believe that God is speaking to me about being deliberate. It is necessary to gain victory in my life.
I have been deliberate about getting on the treadmill everyday. I am also deliberate in doing things to improve my marriage. My husband Wade and I are taking a marriage course. We have been intentional about spending time going to it and in doing our homework together.
As I have sensed the conviction in these areas of my life, I realize more and more how unintentional or not deliberate I am in other ways as well.
How studied or intentional am I at learning God's word. How much do I consider in my mind to actually be obedient to it? How often do I allow my thoughts to just go on unhindered?
2 Corinthians 10:5 says, 'We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.'
Being obedient is not a passive act. See the action needed in this one verse alone. Demolish...take captive....make it obedient....
I am guilty of passive thinking that ends up stinkin' thinkin' as its been said. A place where I follow my feelings and thoughts to a pit of untruth. When I am not deliberate about giving my thoughts to God, it can lead to disobedience.
For example, last year through a series of events I knew in my spirit God called me to write. Then just as easily thorough a series of doubt, I allowed myself to become discouraged and confused. It started by looking around me and comparing myself with others. I chose doubt instead of the truth.
Being deliberate is a decision. I am choosing to think about what I am thinking about. I need to arrest or take captive those thoughts that don't line me up with God's thoughts about me.
It is hard work! I have been passively thinking for many years. I cannot do it alone. This is where God comes in, I make the choices after He has prompted me, and He makes the changes.
'For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.' Hebrews 4:12
Thank you Lord for helping me be deliberate about you. Please renew my mind with your Word and Spirit.
What are you thinking about?

Standing Ovation

I was infused with breath. A 24 hour injection of familiarity. Now I realize this does not always bring life. There is an idiom that states ' Familiarity breeds contempt', which means the more you know something, the more you start to find fault with it. This was not the meaning I sought.
We have lived in Regina 8 weeks today and I was in need of something familiar in the midst of all that wasn't. So my son, Owen and I traveled to Saskatoon Wednesday afternoon for a dose of something known.
I felt this was part of the process to accept the new things. You see, I sense this separation from what is familiar is completely in God's plan for myself and my family. I just never expected the impact that it had on my heart with so many changes.
I made a decision on the way back home as I sang praise music to God. I could either determine to let the changes be an opportunity to trust God more or let it swallow me up. The swallowing part was not an option and so I promised God I would try not to 'figure out' why things looked or felt the way they did. I would merely ask Him to inhabit the things going on and give me His sight to see Him in it.
A song by Mark Roach playing at the time confirmed His desire to show me that. It is called Surrounded.
'You are here in spite of everything I am>And everything I'm not>When my tears seem like my only water>Fill me with your song Oh God> And I lift up my hands to praise You>I lift up my voice>And I'm surrounded,I'm astounded By Your presence in this place, I can hear you, I feel so near You, I can almost see your face,I am clothed in love, surrounded by Your Grace.
The beautiful thing about our trip was that I realized God has released me from Saskatoon. Funny, I looked up familiarity in the thesaurus and one synonym was freedom. So although there are still people there I long for, I feel free to be in a new city and be who He wants me to be here.
Owen and I both received life from those we saw and love and who are familiar. Strength to press on.
Thanks to my daughter Tessa, my friends Florence and Arlene and all of Owen's friends and his teacher at his old school.
As Owen said when he walked in to spend the day with his old classmates, ' I got a standing ovation!'
Thank you Lord for giving our hearts a 'standing ovation' to encourage us on the journey.
What about you? Is there something that is unfamiliar in your life at this time where you can determine to trust God with the outcome?

Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

Smoke on the Water took on a whole new meaning for me today. It was my first day of guitar lessons. I was so excited and proud of my progress after just thirty minutes of instruction. I couldn't wait to show my son, Owen, what I learned when he got home from school.
"Check this out, "I said excitedly and picked off the notes.
"Oh, I know that song," he said as his eyes lit up. "Can I try?"
So with the lesson fresh in my mind, I passed it on to my eager nine year old. And in five minutes, he was playing it better than me.
What is up with that? Well once I properly placed my stolen moment in my humility bag, I marvelled at Owen's ability to pick things up so quickly. This verse came to mind as I thanked God for his gifts.
Deuternomy 4:9 'Only be careful and watch yourself closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.'
And also in chapter 6:5-7 ' Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.'
I was reminded by Owen's quick study how impressionable children are. And how God has given me a great responsibility to impress Him on my children's hearts. Owen said they talked at school about being careful what they watched. I wondered if while he watched me, does he see Jesus in the things I do and say.
I need to remember that his brain is like a sponge and to talk about my love for God as we sit at home and when we walk and when he goes to bed and when he awakes. His love for God is simple and pure and I pray that I do not get in the way.
Are you loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and strength in order to pass this on to your children? How are you impressing the things of God into their hearts? Make a decision today to add one part of God into your routine and watch your child lap it up. Bless you in this great responsibility.

But......

"Just start." my daughter said.
She'd been asking me for ideas to get her photos and art 'out there' to possibly sell. I became a fountain of inspiration for her and so I asked in turn, perhaps you have some ideas for my writing.
Hence the response, just start.
What a novel idea I thought. Why is it so easy for me to come up with 101 ways for someone to accomplish their desires? And I can come up with 101 things I 'need' to do before I just start?
This seems to be a repeating theme in my life and in many different areas of it. It is not as if I haven't heard these words of wisdom before. It just resonated differently in my heart today. I was ready.
Joyce Meyer said on her program today. "Nobody on earth has more authority over yourself than you do. What are you saying to yourself?"
I need to challenge the doubts, rise up to the discouragement and trust God for this part of my journey. I keep saying if I don't put my heart into my writing now at the season I am in, then when will I?
So, you are now witness to my putting my pen where my mouth is. I'll do what I can, so that God can do the rest.
'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.' Philippians 4:13
What do you need to 'just start' today?